Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

I honestly think if that's the only thing someone is worried about when they're gravely unwell to the point of being an inpatient then they must be in a very good hospital.

I used to call the nurses 'darling', all the time. It's a term of endearment. Meant with affection and kindness. I say it to my friends and neighbours and shop/hospitality staff too sometimes. When they've done something for me that's helpful.

But if she doesn't like it all she needs to do is politely say to the person she would rather not be called it.

What a strange thing to get so het up about. I hope she is able to leave hospital soon.

I had a colonoscopy when I was in my 30s, the the recovery area everyone was farting. I appologised to the nurse who told me, "Don't worry darlin' it have to come out" I think she was Jamaican and it just seemed so nice.

@TheOnlyAletheia my brother moved to Cornwall in the 1980s and had to get used to being called, "My lover" from patients to bus drivers.

Honestly I think people are just looking for things that irritate them. People complain for literally anything. I feel for anyone who works either people trying to please and know every single individual they meet. Personalise every interaction to ensure no one’s offended, upset or angered.

I have never visited anyone in hospital and noticed, except babies who have "Baby Surname" and I thought that was because they were bald and featureless and easily muddled.

I have never visited anyone in hospital who didn’t have their name written on a whiteboard over their bed.

I thought MN didn't like men calling their current girlfriend "babe" because it sounds like he can't be bothered to remember your name, you're interchangeable, it's dehumanising, etc, etc.

Why different rules for patients? It's rude and infantilising. You might think it's an endearment but that's not necessarily what the people on the receiving are thinking.

Sometimes wish we did the US thing of suing Miss, Ma’am and sir! Much more respect (except when you go from being a miss to a Maam)

Because it signals: "I come in peace, I want to help/be nice/make you feel I like you."

When I was little I remember asking my mother about the way people always called the late Queen "Your Majesty." My comment was she must feel very lonely if no-one ever calls her Darling.

I guess the majority of nurses intuit that the majority of people (on this thread as well) prefer a signal of warmth to a signal of honour - especially when they are ill and vulnerable and require looking after.

Our Director of Adult Social Care frequently used to call members of our senior Leadership Team, including the Chief Executive “my lovely “. That went down well 🤣

This. “Oi, you”, you’d have a point. Dear or Darling, seriously?

It demonstrates a desire to be gentle towards them.

Terms of endearment are social signals.

Maybe she could have added don't deliberately say something that people might find offensive.

Teachers have classes of 30+, lecturers 80+ and use people's names.

TBH that's mostly because they want to retain a degree of authority and using terms of endearment whittles away at that.

If you call someone sweetheart, they are more likely to ask for an essay extension or chatter in class. Names betray nothing of kindness or emotion towards someone: it's just calling a "spade a spade."

So what does darling mean in that situation. It isn't really a term of endearment when the patient is a total stranger. it doesn't add anything, saying hello or hello darling to a patient you don't know, what's the point?

Still keep the pupils for a year, which gives plenty of time to learn their names. Nurses patient rotate sometimes daily depending on the ward.

“Aw bless” is patronising.

I completely agree. I'm a lot older than OP's neighbour but find being called darling etc to be friendly rather than patronising. Seems sad to object to a term of affection.

My late Mother used to tell me to never take offence unless offence is definitely intended. Some of these prickly posters would be happier people if they followed this wise advice. Although the Mumsnet problem boards would be much emptier if they did.

So you don't think it is about being kind, caring etc. Just a thoughtless way of addressing people that doesn't really mean anything.

Teachers in senior schools will teach several class es of 30.

What connotations though?

I'm a man, in my early 40s and was in hospital recently, I got darling and love all the time too. I also get it in the pub, and in shops as well.

It's just what's said in certain parts of the country, it doesn't mean anything, any more or less than mate does.

Teachers have a class of 30 for a whole year. I can garauntee if that class of 30 was constantly rotating every few days they wouldn't remember their classes names. Nurses will see 100s of patient across thay same year for maybe a couple of days at a time, not the same 80 on repeat. And my lecturers never remembered my name!

I also don't think its a because they can't be bothered to remember your name thing, it's just part of their usual patter to seem caring and reassuring. It doesn't work for everyone, but part of things like nursing is repeating the task in the same way over and over so you don't make mistakes.

They aren't trying to be patronising, someone calling you love or darling when they are caring for you, doesn't mean you aren't intelligent, it doesn't diminish your personality or achievements. They will do it for every single patient

Doctors always refer to
parents as mum or dad in my experience. I also call parents mum as I can’t remember all the parents names as well. And I have never felt comfortable calling them
by their first names. No idea why!

Gosh @KatyKopykat . What strange standards you have.

You probably aren't feeling awful, in bed, possibly having intimate things done when your workmen say it so not the same at all.

Exactly, why isn't "that's a shame" enough? What does oh bless you add?