Page 13 | Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

KatyKopykat · 2025-10-04T19:36:42+00:00

I do a cleaning job once a week for a neighbour who's been in hospital, she's coming up 67. She's been telling me that the nurses and hospitality staff all call patients darling incessantly. They all do it and she thought it's part of their training. I'd hope not! Another thing they keep saying is bless/aw bless. AIBU to say this is not professional? I'm not in my sixties but I'd stop it immediately if anyone said it to me.

SilkAndSparklesForParties · 05/10/2025 16:27

CameForAVacationStayedForTheRevolution · 05/10/2025 16:10

Isn’t there part of the UK where it’s more common to call people “my lover” even if you’re not having sex with them? Somerset?

some of this could be geographical variation, here everyone calls you duck. Men get called duck as well. Freaked my London friend out when he moved here.

I raise you "mum". "Are you mum?" To me that means somebody is asking if I am able to speak. So many times I have been tempted.

Are you Sophie's mum has an entirely different meaning.

"You mum" is even lazier.

Many many years ago, when ds was in hospital as a baby, DH arrived as they were doing the ward round. One of the Dr's acknowledged him and said "you dad?". DH shot back "yes, his not yours". The Dr apologised but I'm pretty sure that if I'd said it, I'd have got the eye roll instead of an apology.

Yourlifeinyourhands · 05/10/2025 16:24

KatyKopykat · 05/10/2025 15:15

What is the point of this stupid reply?

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It’s just ridiculous to be bothered about someone calling you that IMO! Hardly offensive is it?!

CameForAVacationStayedForTheRevolution · 05/10/2025 16:10

Isn’t there part of the UK where it’s more common to call people “my lover” even if you’re not having sex with them? Somerset?

some of this could be geographical variation, here everyone calls you duck. Men get called duck as well. Freaked my London friend out when he moved here.

Calliopespa · 05/10/2025 16:09

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:22

Such a shame we don't have words with meanings and then you wouldn't need to differentiate.

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Well to me the contextual richness of language is one of its joys, but I accept views may differ on that.

For example, "rudely". One word, but so many shades of meaning, depending on the context.

Growlybear83 · 05/10/2025 15:58

@Fionasapples. I agree with you about ‘you guys’. It has always been another term for a man until people started using it in this way. I am not a man or a guy - I am a woman.

Fionasapples · 05/10/2025 15:55

I think it's the fashion at the moment to say Aw bless, particularly amongst younger people.

I don't mind someone calling me love, or even cocker (as some do up here) but I really hate anyone calling me a guy! You guys makes me cringe. I also find hun pathetic.

Praying4Peace · 05/10/2025 15:55

KatyKopykat · 04/10/2025 20:43

Yes so are we. I asked her this and she said they said "Hello Pam darling" so they do know their name.

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I agree with you OP.
Patients should be asked what they want to be addressed as

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/10/2025 15:52

Didn't mind darling or love but detest bless you, I find it really patronising.

Arraminta · 05/10/2025 15:50

If I'm honest, I think I'd much prefer to be warmly called Sweetie Fifi Bum Trinket by, literally anyone, rather than a chillingly clipped 'Arraminta' by @TheignT because her seething fury is a bit scary

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:22

Calliopespa · 05/10/2025 15:20

My beloved doesn't use that more widely than within the family because he works in a role in which it would be highly irregular. He does not work in a role in which he is caring or tending to people who are in need of tenderness.

But if you mean were he a nurse and I heard him say to a patient something like "Right my darling, let's sort out those pillows for you", then I would be perfectly capable of differentiating between his meaning there and his meaning in a situation like asking me, on bended knee; "My Darling, will you marry me?"

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Such a shame we don't have words with meanings and then you wouldn't need to differentiate.

Calliopespa · 05/10/2025 15:20

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:15

Well using darling to anyone and everyone just diminishes its meaning, If your beloved calls everyone darling does it mean anything when they use it to you?

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My beloved doesn't use that more widely than within the family because he works in a role in which it would be highly irregular. He does not work in a role in which he is caring or tending to people who are in need of tenderness.

But if you mean were he a nurse and I heard him say to a patient something like "Right my darling, let's sort out those pillows for you", then I would be perfectly capable of differentiating between his meaning there and his meaning in a situation like asking me, on bended knee; "My Darling, will you marry me?"

Wingedharpy · 05/10/2025 15:16

In a hospital setting - particularly on a surgical unit - I personally would much rather be "love" than accidentally referred to by the wrong name.

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:16

KatyKopykat · 05/10/2025 15:15

What is the point of this stupid reply?

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Pathetic isn't it.

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:15

Calliopespa · 05/10/2025 15:14

They also have social usages.

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Well using darling to anyone and everyone just diminishes its meaning, If your beloved calls everyone darling does it mean anything when they use it to you?

Original poster

KatyKopykat · 05/10/2025 15:15

Yourlifeinyourhands · 05/10/2025 15:14

What would you prefer? Hello fuck face 😂

What is the point of this stupid reply?

OP posts:

Yourlifeinyourhands · 05/10/2025 15:14

What would you prefer? Hello fuck face 😂

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:14

Mumtobabyhavoc · 05/10/2025 15:00

🙄 Really ?

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What is kind about using some generic word you use to everyone, either drop it or replace it with a name which actually means something.

Calliopespa · 05/10/2025 15:14

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:13

Checked a couple of dictionaries and they give the definition of darling as beloved. You really think you are the beloved of a nurse who just met you? Words have meanings.

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They also have social usages.

TheignT · 05/10/2025 15:13

Calliopespa · 05/10/2025 12:20

Because it signals: "I come in peace, I want to help/be nice/make you feel I like you."

When I was little I remember asking my mother about the way people always called the late Queen "Your Majesty." My comment was she must feel very lonely if no-one ever calls her Darling.

I guess the majority of nurses intuit that the majority of people (on this thread as well) prefer a signal of warmth to a signal of honour - especially when they are ill and vulnerable and require looking after.

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Checked a couple of dictionaries and they give the definition of darling as beloved. You really think you are the beloved of a nurse who just met you? Words have meanings.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 05/10/2025 15:00

TheignT · 05/10/2025 10:09

Make an effort to learn a name if you want to be kind.

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🙄 Really ?

Topseyt123 · 05/10/2025 13:33

This wouldn't bother me at all. I don't think it would register on my radar so I doubt I would even notice it.

ToWhitToWhoo · 05/10/2025 13:22

I don't mind 'darling' so long as it isn't used sarcastically ('look darling, you're wasting my time').. Just trying to be friendly IMO. 'Aw bless' would irritate me, though. But the main thing is whether they are giving good care.

Calliopespa · 05/10/2025 13:14

sashh · 05/10/2025 13:03

I had a colonoscopy when I was in my 30s, the the recovery area everyone was farting. I appologised to the nurse who told me, "Don't worry darlin' it have to come out" I think she was Jamaican and it just seemed so nice.

@TheOnlyAletheia my brother moved to Cornwall in the 1980s and had to get used to being called, "My lover" from patients to bus drivers.

Yes I think the copious farting is a good example of when hiding behind the anonymity of "Darling" might be rather a relief. I would see no merit in having that linked to my name.

BearPear · 05/10/2025 13:09

I’m northern, generic love, darling, sweetheart etc are all normal in conversation. The thing I dislike is being “blessed”; I hate the religious connotations especially when it’s used towards someone sneezing. I’m an atheist, I really don’t want your blessings, thank you.

stealthsquirrelnutkin · 05/10/2025 13:08

captainoctopus · 04/10/2025 21:05

I've noticed the "aw bless" and "bless you" from various different hospital/GP's staff, after having to go for repeated visits to both with a nasty infection in the last couple of weeks. I've not noticed it before.
Maybe I've reached some mysterious age threshold? 🤔

Edited

Yep. Give it just a few more years and you can guarantee that whenever you have another person with you when you go for your appointment the nurses will talk to them over your head, as if you were senile and incapable of rational speech.