Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

The Bless and Aw Bless drives me nuts! The receptionists at dentists and doctors do it, as do some of the nurse practitioners. But it's also in shops and all sorts of commercial places. My husband came back from Doctors appointment a couple weeks ago and said he had been addressed thus, he was not impressed. Most of them say it automatically, bit like the 'have a nice day' means nothing but sounds patronizing. We are 68 both tall, lively, intelligent and in full possession of our marbles. I have worked in elderly care and I found the best and most caring carers don't use this kind of performative way of talking to people. If you care about people you make an effort to be polite and make sure you address people with their preference in mind.

I was a nurse. I hate soppiness, effusiveness, sentimentality. But when I've been really ill I didn't care what they called me - I just wanted everyone to be really gentle and kind.

Agree

I’m 67 and I wish someone had called me darling when I was ignored for two days in hospital to the point I was dehydrated because no one brought me water.

Well said

Im with you op. It would drive me nuts

I will make a note to call you Southern Jessie’s!

I live in the North. I’m perfectly happy with being called darling and if I was admitted to a hospital in the North East they would call me pet. That’s ok too.

Haven't RTFT, but I lost my husband in his 40's twenty years ago.
If nurses etc want to call me darling or sweetheart they are more than welcome, it's so long since I heard those terms. Please think about others & not just your own sensibilities.

It's patronising bullshit and it isn't just the medical profession that perpetrates it. I've had ",bless" and ",my lovely" from shop assistants, waiting staff, all kinds. I think darling as a term of endearment to a long - term or frequent patient that the nurse knows well could be okay but the blesswankers are infuriating

It is frowned upon professionally, and the Care Inspectorate WILL pick up on it if they hear it being used in care homes etc. I always call new residents Mr or Mrs until I am told otherwise, and request that my staff do the same (I’m the manager). However, most of the time terms of endearment are coming from a good place from staff who have built up a good relationship with longer term residents, and those who are going through a difficult time. I’m not going to come down on good staff for this. As long as I know there is genuine respect between staff and residents, and that reviews corroborate this, I can’t see the harm.
Residents often call me dear, hen, pet, love and darling and it doesn’t bother me one bit.
It would be a different story if a staff member was referring to everyone as darling indiscriminately, using the awful patronising tone a PP described, or calling all the ladies ‘gran’. There is no place for such disrespect to people who have as much life experience as we care for ❤️

That's one of the things I found unexpected when my son was in hospital. 99% of the consultants and surgeons introduced themselves as Dr Jenny Smith, just call me Jenny. Though they would often introduce themselves to the children as Dr and first name so Dr Jenny.

I think its possibly a southern thing . I work in the NHS in the north of England my patients are quite happy for me to call them dear, darling or hen if its a fellow scot. One actually said last week it made him feel cared for. They call me by my first name and my consultant colleagues as well. They introduce themselves as Dr Happy Heart but call me Happy. Most of our patients are chronically ill and we work with them to manage the condition so maybe that's the difference.

It can be a step parent, an auntie/uncle, a foster carer, a much older sibling. Working in paediatrics we never assume, as only a child's parent can give consent in most cases, and if we proceed without consent we may be in trouble. Also if not a parent, it may be they don't know the child's full medical history, medication allergies etc and it could potentially be harmful for the child.

I often called them darling or sweetheart or doctor/nurse during my husband’s 4 lengthy stays over the past 18 months because I’m terrible with names.
Same when he was given less than a 5% chance of survival after devastating illness in 2017. He was observed and investigated by so many specialties, many of which I had hitherto no knowledge of, that they became collectively the “ologies”. I may even have addressed them as such at 3am.
Other than his last surgeon, a fantastic gastric surgeon from Bulgaria. She was fabulous and formidable and I will never forget her name. Not that I suppose she would care: saving my husband’s life against dodgy odds clearly meant a great deal to her.
They were all self-effacing, incidentally.
Anyone bothered about what stretched staff are calling them are clearly not that sick.

The guy in my local garden centre calls everyone lovely. Sometimes he says "and what lovely things do you want today?" If makes me chuckle inside because he has the enthusiasm of a Butlins Redcoat and a children's entertainer rolled into one and is extremely efficient, sometimes managing the till, taking orders and making lovely drinks all on his own.

I couldn't begin to get worked up over this, it's just a term of endearment.

When the nurses actually learnt my name and started using it when my son was in hospital, I knew that he'd been in for a long time.

He was sweetheart, darling, love, cheeky chops, little man etc constantly when he was in. I was called darling a lot too as well as mum.

@Calliopespa you haven't said if it's made you feel cared for sweetie.

😭

Anyone trots out "Aw,bless" to me gets a verbal slap it winds me up so much and it's so needless.

Its a simple word like that, would make me feel cared for and looked after tbh

I'll take that as conceding the point.

Oh sweetie bless you for sharing that with us. I hope you feel all cared for darling.

Not the same, the same would be if she called the nurses darling or sweetheart.

When I was in hospital a glance at the board showed what you wanted to be called. I sort of hope they they bother to work out who I am or I might get the wrong treatment.