New neighbour AIBU?

It’s pretty sexist of her to ask your husband over “do either of you have a spare day minute to help me with my shed?”

In which case, assuming she hasn't anyone else to ask, it should have been more along the lines of:

I'm really sorry, but I wonder if either of you could help at some point when you've time. I ordered a shed, and I didn't realise it took two people to get it up. I'll provide drinks and a takeaway if you like.

I'd make sure you don't - because someone like that is going to keep asking and keep asking for everything if you do it for them once - and as your dh isn't good at diy, if it fell down, then I'm sure would be quick to complain.
I'd also feel a bit put out that it was a "dh" request, as I'm as good as he is on putting up things, unless it requires brute strength when he is stronger.

Tell her that she really doesn't want him helping; last time he put up some flat packed shelves it took him all day and they fell down during the night and woke you up with a dreadful start. Then give her the number of a local diy chap who will do it for money.

I have put a shed once in my life, with husband, and it's a difficult horrible job that takes 2 people a full day. Needed a new shed at my allotment and I paid someone. The fact she could knock on a stranger's door and ask them to drop everything and give up their day for this is insane and show she has no normal boundaries.

I'd be fine with a simple "third hand" for a critical part of a job, such as could you hold that against the wall while I drill a hole, type of thing, but not for a day long job. Is she the full shilling or what?

You did the right thing saying it didn't suit you at the time. Simple help outs, fine. Full day DIY, not a flipping chance, I can't even do that for myself!

I get the feeling that she may not take cues and doesn't realise how cheeky she is. Take note.

You're not unreasonable at all to say no, or to be surprised by the request.
I don't think she's wrong to have asked though, although I will admit I wouldn't have the balls to do something like that myself.

I'd go over and start asking endless questions like what is a shed
How does this work?
What is wood? Really wind her up snd then take a phone call and not return..

YANBU. Don't put yourself out for people like this, it never ends as there are so many CFs about.
What a cheeky, asking someone she's never even met before!

You were perfectly within your rights to say no. I would probably not have asked my neighbours for anything when we moved in. Even the first few times we went away we put our cat in a cattery. Now we look after each other's pets when one of us goes away. My husband fitted her bedroom floor, she borrowed our washing machine when hers broke, they paid for new wall at the bottom of the garden. It's tit for tat really but while it's nice to be neighbourly its a bit cheeky if you are new and never met them.

Time to nip this in the bud before it escalates.

My technique now with cheeky requests is to say I will think about it then give them a price if I decide to do it. This ends the conversation pretty sharply because these people want help for free.

I am 81 and disabled with arthritis so my days of helping others have pretty much gone. If I need help I call my handyman and pay him to do what I need.

I think you have to draw a boundary regarding this kind of request that is clear and specific, not just an excuse that can be got around with the request coming back at a later date.

I would say that you know you live nearby but you don't live there to service anyone's specific DIY needs. Direct her towards Task Rabbit and other handymen if you know of any.

You can also say "I'm sorry we can't help with that kind of thing, try looking up someone professional who lives locally who can do it for you"

If she was asking for help with a specific part of the task I’d have helped & my husband would have too, but “putting together a shed” in it’s entirety would always be a big fat no from me! Even if we didn’t have plans, I’m not spending my weekend building someone else’s bloody shed- we paid the company we bought ours from to build it for exactly this reason!

A small job or help that would take say 30 mins- yep, I’m happy to help if available. But putting together a shed could be hours & hours, nope.

Before I'd read the whole post I thought thought it was fine for her to ask for help- as a single woman with kids I've often had to ask neighbours for help, but then reading that she seemed to be almost expecting it and then getting annoyed changed my mind!! She didn't know you, she hadn't already asked and been promised help - you had no idea who she was!
So no, you YAdefinitelyNBU!!
Perhaps she's moved from somewhere where she had a neighbour who helped and she's got used to it. Seems odd behaviour though, considering she'd never spoken to you before!

Keep saying no to things as she will keep asking and expecting more and more

I hope he’s told her to take a hike!

Either you have no life, or you're fibbing.

To expect someone at the drop of the hat to spend their day doing DIY for you is very cheeky. Community is one thing but taking the piss out of someone you barely know is quite another.

Wow, there are some mean people on here. Very glad I live in a place where the community help each other with stuff like this.

It's nice to be nice. I'd have helped out.

I sound horrible but don’t do her any favours unless it’s an emergency. She’s already proven herself to be a CF and I’ve read too many threads on here about neighbours expecting the people next door to help them run their lives!
Tell her you’re busy, you don’t know how to do that, you’ve got a bad back, you’re rarely at home etc. etc. Lots of excuses and no promises, only recommendations for tradespeople

No you're not being unreasonable. That's so weird!

If you were long time neighbours who helped each other loads then that's one thing (even then, perfectly reasonable to say you're busy), but a new neighbour who you barely know?! God no.

Be careful saying yes to anything because she sounds like a CF who will keep coming back.

How does your neighbour have your phone numbers to be texting or know what gym he goes to?

A total stranger comes to your door, demanding that your husband help “us” (which assumes she has a husband of her own) erect a garden shed, talk about entitled, what a cheek.

they must have friends & relatives of their own who could help, yet she wants a total stranger ???

You said No. That Was enough. You have no reason to feel guilty, their shed is not your problem.

Obviously you were right to say no, but it would have been better if you or your husband had said "no, I'm no good at DIY unfortunately!" or similar, so that it was clear he was never going to do it - if you try to fob her off by saying you're busy, she'll just keep trying to find a time when you're not busy. Some people need you to be crystal clear as they can't/won't take hints.

I'd have helped out to be neighbourly, or at least to get her started

If it were me, I’d not ever answer the door to her again!

Oh god this sounds like the start of a nightmare neighbour like we have. She’s constantly wanting dh to help with things. Every morning if it’s raining she’s texting to ask can he give her and her ds a lift to school . If he’s in the garden she will ask can he cut her grass too. She joined the same gym and wanted me to babysit so they could go together 🤦 complete nightmare