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AIBU?

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Original poster

New neighbour AIBU?

206 replies

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 09:31

Our new neighbour knocked on the door just a while ago asking if my Dh who they’ve never met would come in and help them erect their shed. I said that we have plans and we would be out for most of the day. To which she replied “I’d like to do it before it gets dark, we have lots to put in there so we can sort out the house”. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that. At this point my dh came to the door , she repeated the question and he hesitated (diy is not his forte!) and said pretty much what I had said. She asked, could he do it later and he replied not really because he has to pack because he’s going away tomorrow. She got a bit upset, said okay and walked off. Are we being unreasonable to have refused?

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 05/10/2025 00:06

Oh yeah, there are women like this in every cul de sac, close, and avenue.

What an odd thing to say.
I've lived in 9 different places over my 6+ decades and have never come across anyone who would be so brazen / entitled. Most places, we've known all the neighbours, so it isn't a case of not knowing / hearing about them. Oh, and it's definitely not me, before you suggest that.

Francestein · 04/10/2025 23:40

You have yourself a CF next door now. Set very clear boundaries with that one. Let her know that her demands are unreasonable as you don’t know her.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 04/10/2025 21:42

ifIwerenotanandroid · 04/10/2025 18:02

I've known lone female neighbours - not ill or elderly - who viewed the entire street of male neighbours as their personal handymen. Each one expected them to mow her lawns, put up her kitchen cupboards, etc, all for free & immediately.

Show quote history

Oh yeah, there are women like this in every cul de sac, close, and avenue.

I know a couple (I will call them Jane and Dave) who moved into a little 2 bed house. Not long after they moved in, the woman next door said 'oh, Bill who used to live in your house used to cut my lawns and hedges, it would be lovely if you could do them for me. I struggle to do them.'

Dave (stupidly) agreed. Jane was pissed off. He said 'but I can't sit back and let a woman older than me do 2 big lawns and 2 big hedges.' (she was just 4 years older!)

The woman didn't have much to do with them, just spoke to them when she wanted something. Anyway, after 5 years, Dave hurt his back at work, and was no longer able to do it. He stood there with Jane and said to the woman 'I'm sorry, but I won't be able to do your lawns and hedges anymore, after I hurt my back in an accident. I have to be careful now.'

The cheeky cow had the audacity to say 'well can't Jane do it?' Shock

Dave said 'well no, not really, she's not able to do it.' The woman said the exercise will do her good though.'

Jane said she was utterly gobsmacked, and so disgusted that she walked off, and doesn't want to even speak to this woman since that. Cheeky, entitled mare!

Fortunately for Jane, it's quite easy to have nothing to do with the woman as she never speaks now that Dave isn't doing the garden work for her, and Jane isn't doing it either. 2 summers ago it was, and the woman is using another man in the street to do her lawns and hedges now!

Honestly, the cheekyfuckery is breathtaking!

likeacircleinaspirallikeawheelwithinawheel · 04/10/2025 20:10

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Rosscameasdoody · 04/10/2025 19:49

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 16:57

Update- she came back!!Dh not here so couldn’t talk to her himself! She asked if he could help for a few hours. I said no as he is busy, we have two dc and he’s leaving in the morning for the week. I asked her what needed doing exactly. She said they thought they could put up the shed easily but it was too hard and she needs to put it up. I said today was not a good day and he’s not here all week. He’ll be back Friday evening and if she really really needs help on Saturday morning next he might have a bit of time! To which she said…I need it up today next Saturday is too late. I then asked the question If her partner had a friend etc that could help. She said…and this was my favourite part…oh no I couldn’t bother them they are far too busy 😅

At that point I would have ended the conversation and shut the door in her face. Some people have no boundaries and no self awareness.

CarpetKnees · 04/10/2025 19:38

I then asked the question If her partner had a friend etc that could help. She said…and this was my favourite part…oh no I couldn’t bother them they are far too busy

Shock I am generally a person who thinks it is nice to help people out if I can, but this woman is another level ! Unbelievable Shock
likeacircleinaspirallikeawheelwithinawheel · 04/10/2025 19:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 04/10/2025 19:08

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 16:57

Update- she came back!!Dh not here so couldn’t talk to her himself! She asked if he could help for a few hours. I said no as he is busy, we have two dc and he’s leaving in the morning for the week. I asked her what needed doing exactly. She said they thought they could put up the shed easily but it was too hard and she needs to put it up. I said today was not a good day and he’s not here all week. He’ll be back Friday evening and if she really really needs help on Saturday morning next he might have a bit of time! To which she said…I need it up today next Saturday is too late. I then asked the question If her partner had a friend etc that could help. She said…and this was my favourite part…oh no I couldn’t bother them they are far too busy 😅

Oh, we so need either the laughing reaction emoji back or a "rolling eyes" one. 😆🙄These will have to do in a pinch. 😉

@Foxyloxymoxy How did you not start laughing when she said that? I would have been rolling!
At least you can now figure out just what kind of neighbor she'll be and react accordingly.

dilemma2516 · 04/10/2025 19:04

FreyjaOfTheNorth · 04/10/2025 18:35

She asked. You said no. Neither of you were unreasonable. Do you really need to ask strangers if it’s ok to say no to people who ask a favour?

Except the woman appeared to come back and ask again despite being told no

Are you always so insufferable?

FreyjaOfTheNorth · 04/10/2025 18:35

She asked. You said no. Neither of you were unreasonable. Do you really need to ask strangers if it’s ok to say no to people who ask a favour?

NutButterOnToast · 04/10/2025 18:34

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 10:57

We didn’t even build our own we made sure that was in the price 🤣🤣

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Absolutely!

I'd have a go at basic DIY but building a shed is not basic DIY in my opinion.

Sheds are bloody expensive, because you have to pay for the labour to put them together.

She tried to cheap out on it and has got herself stuck. Not your problem.

ThirdStorm · 04/10/2025 18:28

OP I think you are being far too polite!

Gettingbysomehow · 04/10/2025 18:04

Happyjoe · 04/10/2025 16:35

I had same with one of my neighbours, she found out used to be a photographer. She offered me her 6 grandchildren for portraits, literally like she was doing me a fav. So I told her my daily rate, plus print costs and she went off scowling. People have no clue!

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Ridiculous!!!!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 04/10/2025 18:02

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 10:02

Do you really think someone would ask you to decorate their house? I never thought that would be possible to be honest. I wondered if she was just panicking that she had done the wrong thing and ordered something that premade or they just needed the third person and they didn’t think about it. I’m definitely glad we said no! I think she was expecting us to change our plans 🤣

Show quote history

I've known lone female neighbours - not ill or elderly - who viewed the entire street of male neighbours as their personal handymen. Each one expected them to mow her lawns, put up her kitchen cupboards, etc, all for free & immediately.

Gettingbysomehow · 04/10/2025 18:00

She sounds barmy. I'd tell her in no uncertain terms you aren't going to do this. Why does it have to be up so quickly? Ive had to be unspeakably rude to people before to get them off my back. I don't have time for this nonsense. Im single, 63 and I've never once asked anyone for help.
Im happy to help my 90 year old neighbour because she's always known what boundaries are.

Goditsmemargaret · 04/10/2025 17:26

OP she sounds very odd. It's like she believes he's already offered to do it. Is there any chance she has confused him with someone else on the street? Or is he the type to nod along not really listening if they had a chat in the driveway?

Yes I know I'm clutching at straws.

You sound very polite but seriously you need to be direct here. "We can't help. Good luck."

Teacaketravesty · 04/10/2025 17:25

A few HOURS?!

Nevereatcardboard · 04/10/2025 17:22

You need to be a lot clearer to her.

JohnTheRevelator · 04/10/2025 17:16

Bloody hell. She sounds like a right pushy CF!

Summercocktailsgalore · 04/10/2025 17:16

“If all your family and friends are too busy to help, why do you think someone you do not know who also has a job and a family has the time”

3456DDF · 04/10/2025 17:14

DON'T offer his services!! What are you thinking?!

I would go mad if my partner offered MY time for free

Octonaut4Life · 04/10/2025 17:13

OP she will keep coming back and you need to be much firmer. "No that's not something we can help with, why don't you check on the local Facebook group and see if you can hire a handyman to help". And repeat.

Tealpins · 04/10/2025 17:12

Ha! This is AMAZING. She's top value for CFery.

Happyjoe · 04/10/2025 17:07

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 16:57

Update- she came back!!Dh not here so couldn’t talk to her himself! She asked if he could help for a few hours. I said no as he is busy, we have two dc and he’s leaving in the morning for the week. I asked her what needed doing exactly. She said they thought they could put up the shed easily but it was too hard and she needs to put it up. I said today was not a good day and he’s not here all week. He’ll be back Friday evening and if she really really needs help on Saturday morning next he might have a bit of time! To which she said…I need it up today next Saturday is too late. I then asked the question If her partner had a friend etc that could help. She said…and this was my favourite part…oh no I couldn’t bother them they are far too busy 😅

Yeah, she's a piss taker, run, run for the hills!!