To feel I’m not doing enough to help my reception child?

Tricky words are words they have to recognise by sight because they don't follow (initial) phonics rules. I think the first few were "the", "I", "he", "she". They may not have started these until after the first half term, I can't really remember. Do you have a curriculum evening or anything coming up where they might go over what they are teaching and when?

She may be fixating on "p" because they don't learn letters alphabetically - I think it's s-a-t-p-e-n to start with because those letters let you read the most words.

She has been at school for four weeks - you really shouldn't be worrying as much as you are about reading underpinning everything. It's true that it does, but she doesn't need to be reading words now. By the end of reception, they need to be able to blend sounds and read simple sentences - she doesn't need to be doing it now. The teachers will tell you if she's not meeting expected standards. The first term of reception is very much about learning how to be in school, even for kids who've done nursery.

Where I live (EU) kids start school at 7 and they're not expected to be able to read by then. Some can, but most can't and they all learn in the first grade. We read a lot with ours (5&2) and the 5yo knows the letters and can write his name and recognise a few other words but I'm actually really glad he's free of any pressure to be actively learning to read in any particular time frame at this point so he can do it at his own pace, or not at all if he'd rather be digging in the mud or building or drawing etc.

Totally get the concern around supporting her but honestly the amount of progress they make in reception is genuinely amazing. My husband (not a teacher) sat around Xmas and watched our 5yo sound and blending a few simple words (cat, man etc) and just shook his head because in his words "I dont get how you make them go from not reading to reading"
Your happy well adjusted little one will do well because you are a parent who is supportive. Reading, lots of talking when youre out and about and the school will tell you how she is doing and what you can do to help.

I think the fact your asking yourself if your doing enough shows you are! Carry on enjoying the time with her as you are.

I think there are two issues at least.

Finding the time - you "just" (sorry) carve out five minutes while younger child is occupied. I have three young kids so life can be full-on, but I practice HRS words with the younger two in the car while we wait for the eldest at pickup, and I bought a whiteboard so they can practice their names. That sort of thing. You do just need to make the time if there are gaps in their knowledge.

What you should actually be doing - I would get clearer info from the school about what they are doing in any given week, and reinforce that at home. Given what you have written recognising her name (and tracing it?) seems like a good place to start.

Don't panic. It's very early days yet. She'll be fine. Just do a bit a day. I think it clicks for most after Easter. The school will be doing it daily. Mine took off after Easter. Loved reading. All As in their exams later down the line. It's not a race.

@stickmanbewareofthesnow children’s brains develop in stages. They will learn heaps for a while and then seem to learn nothing for ages. Then one day, they will do an enormous jump. A connection in the brain has been made. Remember, baby brains are just a lump of mush. It takes 25 years for the brain to stop developing.

It may well be that your dc’s brain is currently in pause mode. You need to be patient. If, in six months, nothing has happened, a discussion may be called for. But if you are reading aloud, singing and chatting while out and about, you are doing all the right things. But you need to model patience, not panic.

Settle there, petal.

Don’t follow a different phonics or reading scheme to the one they do at school, it’ll just confuse her.

Ask school which reading level DD is at and which phonics scheme they follow, then buy a few used copies of the same books online. But our school is very clear - it’s their job to teach our children to read, and we just have to sit and read with them each evening, following the assigned book. We also read stories to DS and now he’s older he reads to us from basic chapter books and picture books.

But honestly if you’re an invested parent who shows and interest and reads with her each day she will be fine. Make sure she has access to drawing materials too to help letter formation and grip.

Just focus on keeping reading fun for her, I wouldn't be delving into phonics or workbooks or anything. Just give her a solid foundation, have her follow along with reading stories and recognising letters. She'll learn very quickly once at school.

Primary teacher here with a lot of reception experience and a 5 yo who has just gone to y1. Phonics wise- can she blend e.g. if you say oooh look at that ch air. Would she blend it? If not play blending games while youre out and about e.g. shall we b ie k (sounds not spelling) or shall we s c oo t?. Most kids who struggle with their phonics know the sounds (and they learn them at school) but the leap between hearing sounds and blending is quite big.
Maths wise. Loads of counting, number recognition while you're out and about- how many d u ck s? What's that number there.
You're already reading so you're doing more than a lot of parents

She sounds like she’s doing great and it’s far too early to be worried about her falling behind. DS definitely was slow to pick phonics up in Reception but by Year 1, he was assessed as being at Greater Depth in reading. I always thought the most important thing was to make it fun and encourage a love of learning. I think a PP recommended I Spy which is great. Plus, if I’m honest, a fair amount of alphablocks…

Did she go to nursery? I’m a bit surprised they wouldn’t have worked on getting her to recognize her own name before she started school as that’s on the school readiness list, especially for an older in the year child. Maybe you could start with that, getting her to learn all the letter sounds in her own name and being able to read and write them. It’s sometimes easier to learn them when they have meaning. I remember last year when my dd was at the beginning of reception they did letter trains for their names where the letters were mixed up and they had to find their letters and put them in the right order to make their name.

She has been at school a month. You need to relax let her get settled into school and learn to enjoy learning. At this point depending on the scheme being used (and when baseline was finished!) they will have only covered 10/15 sounds in most cases. They are right at the start of there learning journey.

As everyone has said it’s the reading that is key at this point.

Honestly I never spent much time on the school stuff. I think its much more important to fill the other gaps. Just bring her places and be present with her when you can, talking about how the world works and asking her for her thoughts. Cooking or baking or doing chores together. Prompting an interest in books by having them around the house and enjoying reading together will do more for her literacy than phonics because it will motivate her to learn. Just engage when you can. If she doesn't have much screen time and is playing then that's great, playing is probably the most valuable learning tool of all.

"falling behind" What exactly? Children develop at different rates. And change,we have forgotten this somehow.

Poor little kids really. I am sure you are doing your absolute best.

Honestly as a TA in Year 1, as long as you are doing some reading with her, she can put her own coat on, go to the toilet independently and recognise her own name then you are doing better than 99% of parents in my class. Please please don’t worry.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things OP. Regular reading is the best thing and if you can sit down with the phonics cards (we also have Wandle) at home for brief sessions that also helps. We just go over the sounds and sometimes practice making simple words with them and reading and writing them, but only using the sounds they have learnt at school so far.

For context my daughter is also in Reception but learnt all the phonics in the school nursery. We read to her pretty regularly, but not as often as we should due to busy jobs and lots of after school activities. She can't read, apart from very very simple words. It's very early days in Reception; it will start to click as the year goes on. Her elder sister is Y3 and reads fluently (no longer needs any phonics book, whereas some Y3 children still have them) and had the same experience except for due to a different nursery, she had learnt a different phonics system so took longer to get up to speed in reception.

You would be amazed how many children don’t get that range of experiences. Don’t forget those experiences all contribute to the overall development they aren’t stand alone things. School will do the academics and while supporting things is important don’t stress about it, what you’re doing is fine and will help create a well rounded individual.

We just did reading at home - left teaching them phonics to the teachers. They quickly got the hang of it and became fluent readers. DC’s have English as a third language so didn’t have the greatest English language skills to start with.