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Original poster

Noone picked up my daughter and school didn't ring.

582 replies

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 04/10/2025 08:23

On Thursday my daughter was supposed to be picked up by my sister as my husband and I were both working. She finishes school at 3:20pm, she's 7 and is in year 3.

At 4pm I was on my break at work and called sister to ask how DD is.

Sister bloody FOROGT to pick her up and wasn't even in our home town. She was about an hour's drive away at her new boyfriends house.

In a panic I hung up on spluttering apologising sister and immediately rang school to find out what happened to DD. They just casually said "yeah, we've got her, she's in after school club"

At the time I was too busy arranging for someone else to pick up her with only 10 minutes left of my break and relieved she was safe to think much more on the fact that the scholl hadnt informed me so I just said thank you to the school and said someone would be there soon.

Would you complain to the school or at least mention it that noone rang me or DH to say she hadn't been picked up? If I hadn't rung sister I wouldn't have known, and what would have happened when noone arrived at 5pm when it closes?

They also charged me and I could have avoided this charge or at least got a lower charge if I'd got her picked up by 4pm.

OP posts:
Differentforgirls · 04/10/2025 16:17

PoctorDepper · 04/10/2025 15:23

Wtf is with the responses on this thread? Of course the school should call a parent about an uncollected child. Are people genuinely thinking the school should just hang on to children until who-knows-when, unquestioningly? What a bizarre expectation.

DS's school sends uncollected children to the school office, and the staff contact parents by 3.30pm. Its happened a couple of times to me when DS has forgotten he's supposed to be at after school club. I actually cant believe some people think this is an unreasonable expectation. Do you all know what safeguarding is?

Edited

Some of those staff will be working unpaid overtime to contact parents who are responsible for their own children. Or should be. The safeguarding issue is with the irresponsible parent - not the school staff.

Newnamesameme · 04/10/2025 16:16

Delatron · 04/10/2025 15:40

It sounds like your pick ups arrangements are too chaotic. You can’t just rely on unreliable family members all the time. Your sister has shown herself to be flaky. You need to pay for after school club more like most people do.

School dealt with the problem. Teachers are busy. She was safe and used to going to after school club. This is on you really.

Would you at least be arsed to read the op's posts?

usedtobeaylis · 04/10/2025 16:11

I wouldn't complain, no. But I WOULD make it clear that they should have contacted you or her dad.

simplesimoneatspie · 04/10/2025 16:10

tripleginandtonic · 04/10/2025 08:28

Yabu. And maybe tou could be grateful to school for keeping her safe in aftershock club rather thsn berating them because your plans failed. Honestly, parents are getting more entitled by the day.

This

Tablesandchairs23 · 04/10/2025 16:10

I'd have more of an issue with your sister. Who clearly can't be trusted.

Differentforgirls · 04/10/2025 16:06

Newnamesameme · 04/10/2025 14:17

I have worked in ASC. We have ratios to adhere to and we can't always take random strays. We are a private company. In our school. We would take the child (only if in ratio) but it's the schools responsibility to check where the parent is. We would are follow up with the school.as to parents location. you would be charged as well.
It's a safeguarding concern that the school didn't ring. A parent should have been contacted within 10 minutes.
Mn is getting worse for inventing scenarios and hyperbole and people not understanding two things can be true,
Op can be angry at her sister and concerned about the policy in regards to late collection.

As a worker in a private company, you have absolutely no right to tell school staff how to prioritise what is happening at the end of a school day. Especially down to the minute!

SleepyLemur · 04/10/2025 16:04

The school did look after your DC. I wouldn't complain, but you could email them, just to feedback that they should probably let the parents know in such circumstances. No harm done though

jasminocereusbritannicus · 04/10/2025 16:02

Just adding my observation as a TA/After School Cub supervisor…the number of times that I’ve gone to collect children from their classroom, as they are booked into ASC and found that someone has collected them without informing school that they were not going to take up the booking is a thing! It causes ripples of panic due to safeguarding. We also have children who think they ARE coming to club but we don’t have a booking for them. This then necessitates phone calls at a manic time of the day. And as for the end of the day….we are supposed to close at 5:15pm, but people rock up 10 minutes late, while we stand there, unpaid, waiting to go home after a long day and their child is the last one sitting there….no apologies.

CatamaranViper · 04/10/2025 15:52

Differentforgirls · 04/10/2025 15:46

Sorry, how do you know this was clearly out of character?

Show quote history

Cos OP didn't know that the school doesn't call if no one collects a child at the end of the school day

monkey666lynn · 04/10/2025 15:50

Errrrrr why has no-one mentioned blaming the forgetful, unreliable sister in all this???

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 04/10/2025 15:49

In my previous school we would have called especially if this was the first time.

I agree that school could have called but they didn’t (as is their policy) so you need to move on. DD was safe.

Delatron · 04/10/2025 15:47

I can’t believe you’re annoyed they charged you too. You need to change your mindset around childcare. Most people pay for it - then it’s reliable. You sound like you expect your family to run around picking your kids up and begrudge spending any money on it.

This is what working parents do. They need water tight arrangements. You should be happily paying the club and grateful this issue was sorted for you. Yet you don’t want to pay and you want to blame the school…!

Differentforgirls · 04/10/2025 15:46

violetcuriosity · 04/10/2025 11:57

I’m SLT in a school and I actually don’t think you’d be unreasonable to question this. Obviously they did a good job keeping her safe but it’s clearly out of character for you not to collect so I would expect a well-being call to have happened at the very least.

Sorry, how do you know this was clearly out of character?

Notagain75 · 04/10/2025 15:43

Surely they were right to charge you. I'm not sure what else you expected them to do. They would have phoned if she was still not collected when the after school club finished . They would not have just left her .
You should be angry with your sister not the school. You know now not to trust her again.
Incidentally when did you make the arrangements with her an and when was the last time you spoke to her about it?

JustSawJohnny · 04/10/2025 15:41

You are seriously misplacing your blame.

The school would have called you if someone wasn't there by the time after school club ended.

It's up to you to arrange pick up, not the school.

Delatron · 04/10/2025 15:40

It sounds like your pick ups arrangements are too chaotic. You can’t just rely on unreliable family members all the time. Your sister has shown herself to be flaky. You need to pay for after school club more like most people do.

School dealt with the problem. Teachers are busy. She was safe and used to going to after school club. This is on you really.

moose17 · 04/10/2025 15:40

Complain? Are you actually having a joke? Would you have been happier if they let her wonder around in the playground until someone might have turned up? Sounds like you have a sister problem.

Blakeley · 04/10/2025 15:38

Did you advise the school that her aunt would be picking her up? If they didn’t know your arrangements for the day they might have thought you had forgotten to book her place at the out of school club, seeing as she sometimes uses it.

I think it would have been more sensible for the school to ring earlier, although they obviously would have had to at end of school club anyway. I don’t think though that the school really need to take any accountability here, especially if you didn’t communicate to them who was picking her up and when.

sundaychairtree · 04/10/2025 15:37

PoctorDepper · 04/10/2025 15:23

Wtf is with the responses on this thread? Of course the school should call a parent about an uncollected child. Are people genuinely thinking the school should just hang on to children until who-knows-when, unquestioningly? What a bizarre expectation.

DS's school sends uncollected children to the school office, and the staff contact parents by 3.30pm. Its happened a couple of times to me when DS has forgotten he's supposed to be at after school club. I actually cant believe some people think this is an unreasonable expectation. Do you all know what safeguarding is?

Edited

Please could you explain how the child was not safeguarded by the school?

ukgone2pot · 04/10/2025 15:35

Linenpickle · 04/10/2025 08:25

You want to complain to the school for looking after your child as she was forgotten by her own family…. Really??

This

VikaOlson · 04/10/2025 15:31

Sounds like they were just busy at the end of the day, maybe the teacher had a meeting or had to collect their own child immediately - it was probably just an oversight.

If you're not going to forget to collect your child again, it's not really going to affect you?

Bananainpyjamas1980 · 04/10/2025 15:31

Maybe in the future confirm with your sister if she's on pick up that day.
It's not the schools fault, I'd be grateful that they took care of her.

redjeans28 · 04/10/2025 15:30

PoctorDepper · 04/10/2025 15:23

Wtf is with the responses on this thread? Of course the school should call a parent about an uncollected child. Are people genuinely thinking the school should just hang on to children until who-knows-when, unquestioningly? What a bizarre expectation.

DS's school sends uncollected children to the school office, and the staff contact parents by 3.30pm. Its happened a couple of times to me when DS has forgotten he's supposed to be at after school club. I actually cant believe some people think this is an unreasonable expectation. Do you all know what safeguarding is?

Edited

Wtf are you talking about? The school would have rang at 5o'clock if it hadn't been sorted by then. It was sorted, no need for the dramatics. The child sometimes goes to after school club anyway so it actually worked out well for the OP. I've no idea why you and she are annoyed.

MCF86 · 04/10/2025 15:30

Differentforgirls · 04/10/2025 14:55

Surely the onus is on the parent to ring the school if they can't pick their child up?

Show quote history

Yep, which is why it should be a concern if they haven't and nobody turns up!
I work in a school, we'd call after ten minutes.

sundaychairtree · 04/10/2025 15:29

Goldengirl123 · 04/10/2025 15:27

Why are you all saying noone?? No such word

There's always one isn't there?