AIBU for pressuring my son to apply to unis close to home?

But LSE, Imperial (where my DC have attended) are vastly better unis. I never pressured the subject. They have complete freedom, just it's so much easier for us financially if they go to university in London. They are allowed one year in halls, but after that they stay with us. If they were to get into Oxbridge I'd never hold them back. But if they get into the fabulous universities in London, it's so much easier for us.

I'd rather have them go to university in London than fork out £ks to cover up a maintenance loan that'll just be gathering interest for them.

Yep, sadly, there’s not enough student accommodation in Manc. I read an article a couple of years ago about students getting clearing places at Man Met and having to go somewhere else because they could not find accommodation for love nor money. Cheap Northern places do exist tho, just not Manchester.

I must admit I strongly hinted to Dd I’d prefer her not to go to London because of the cost of accommodation but she applied to UCL anyway. Got an offer from Oxford Brookes (her last choice) but I was alarmed to find accommodation was just about as much as London.

Was so happy when she accepted Manchester only to find my illusion of it being a cheap northern city was totally wrong and her accommodation is costing me a fortune 🙈😁

Yes, you are!

And education snobbery is the worst form of snobbery!

It’s not even snobbery. The idea of “shutting down” your child’s wish to study anywhere is what’s breathtaking.

Definitely this.

Had my DC wanted to go to Nottingham or Bath because "they want to leave London" I would have shut that down because there's no extra value add to attending Bath over the London unis mentioned.

@Gfff So, you agree that pressuring your DC to go to a university you want them to go to is a good idea?

Bath has consistently been a top ten university for years. The snobbery in your post is breathtaking.

My parents didn't want me to go far for university. I refused the local ones, but wasn't allowed to apply to any in London. I know this harmed my career because I moved to a city that hosted a massive event directly related to my degree subject, and everyone that was recruited to work there was from bigger cities.

Yes, he should definitely be independent of you whilst he's at uni. One of my boys stayed at home (his choice) and definitely didn't have such a good experience. And it should be his choice of uni, not yours, Cambridge sounds like a better fit, or failing that Imperial.

You need to bite the bullet and raise the money for his expenses, that's what is expected at your level of income and it's just penny pinching to want him to stay at or near home. It's his life.

If your son got in to Oxford you wouldn't want him to live there?!

I think it'd be useful to know where OP is actually based.

definitely encourage him to experience living at uni too! It's not just about the academic side of it, it's the life experience. Let him enjoy it.

Warwick will be great as cheaper to live there than London. Cambridge would be amazing

looking at you Bristol with your £10k+ SC halls

That's a bit harsh @clary - almost 😀 Bristol - and I think we're talking University of rather than UWE - only has 5% of its self-catered accom at over £10k. But the median is not much less at around the £9,000 mark. Which is pretty shocking, though possibly not unique. And somewhat at odds with Bristol's significant widening participation success when compared with somewhere like Durham.

It does however bear out the genuine point, that, although I do think the OP is being very U, costs have increased significantly over the past few years - and whilst many parents well have had plans in places, their contingencies may not quite have stretched to the scenarios we have seen play out in in the current decade.

Looking at where D2 went his SC halls were £6,200 in 2019 - top end and in very recently built accommodation - for the academic year just starting those same halls are pushing £8,500.

YABVU

You also don’t have to fund his university life.

Undergraduates cannot comute to Oxford.

My last dc is at uni atm and lives in halls. She could have commuted but that’s not what she wanted and it’s her life and experience so it was up to her even though it would have saved us a load of money. We did the same with the other 2.
And not the point of the thread, but if any of mine would have had the possibility of getting into Cambridge I’d have taken on another couple of jobs to make it happen for them!

Yes. Thanks for explaining better.

Yes. And the academic environment is better. (I'm talking about LSE, imperial, and then after then UCL and kings and QM)

I presume the PP means that they won’t improve their prospects by choosing to go to e.g. Nottingham, rather than staying in London and attending a top university there.

If you are talking from the POV of someone who lives in London, then yes, your children probably can still live at home and have a choice of local universities without ‘settling’ for lower tariff institutions, but not everyone has that choice. For many students, having to live at home because their parents don’t want to support them away from home means limiting their choices, and many people don’t live near any universities.
In the OP’s case, she is trying to make her son choose Oxford over Cambridge, which he prefers, because it suits her, but as already pointed out, commuting isn’t really an option anyway. Not to mention that his chances of getting into either are very slim, so they need to be considering his other choices

Do you mean the actual courses offered at the London universities, lend themselves to better job prospects, than say Bath or Nottingham ( for example)?

What are your thoughts so far, OP?

I think it depends where OP is. What unis are commutable? 45 mum train, yes. 2 hours with changes maybe not so. Also the "value" add of going to a university away.

Being London based our dc went to imperial, LSE and UCL etc. had they gotten into Oxbridge there's a value add of going to Oxbridge. Had my DC wanted to go to Nottingham or Bath because "they want to leave London" I would have shut that down because there's no extra value add to attending Bath over the London unis mentioned.

But imagine someone in Leeds gets an offer to read IR at the LSE (one of the best places in the UK for this) there's an extreme value add to move out and go to London.

@MysticalBiscuit you can only apply for Oxford or Cambridge.

True tho that both unis are not keen on term-time working. As many PPs have stated, the way the uni works means you have a very packed programme of face-to-face teaching and may have tutorials late into the evening.