AIBU for pressuring my son to apply to unis close to home?

What's wrong? Why should I not prioritise the reputation the university has with employers and the prestige the name bestows? The academics are the most important things. London unis (LSE, imperial for example) are the best in the world at what they do. We are fortunate that these unis are right on our doorstep.

The London unis have good sports facilities and a lot of the social life is based around the sports societies. The London unis over a wide variety of modules for what my children wanted to study. The number of students is fine. London is a great place to be. Staff ratios is fine. My DC at the LSE frequented office hours a lot. My other DC in London got heavily involved as an UG research assistant.

It's their choice of subject. But I'm not going to fork out £ks to waste on rent so they can attend a lesser university just to "live out". DH and I worked very hard for our money. If they got into Oxbridge of course we'd support them financially. They've all had one year out in London. The rest, at home with us. They choose the subject and career. I'm not forcing them down any path.

They've all got good grades and predictors. Youngest has straight A*s predicted they'll get into one London university at least.

I’m intrigued @Gfff From a STEM perspective, and I’ll take a wild guess here and say you likely have little regard for the humanities, so sticking with STEM are you suggesting that the W should be removed from COWI?

@Gfff - there are plenty of really good universities outside London and Oxbridge - Durham, Manchester, Edinburgh, for a start.

I hope your kids don’t resent you limiting their choices.

Their life and wellbeing is more important. I’d rather have an alive son with a degree from a less impressive institution than a dead one from a “better” one. Which is what I feared my son would have become had he stayed where he was. And yes, being extremely bright (actual achieved top grades, not just predicted ones) he coped fine with the academics. The other people and the support from the uni itself let him down - and probably not helped by commuting

What's wrong? Why should I not prioritise the reputation the university has with employers and the prestige the name bestows? The academics are the most important things. London unis (LSE, imperial for example) are the best in the world at what they do. We are fortunate that these unis are right on our doorstep.

The London unis have good sports facilities and a lot of the social life is based around the sports societies. The London unis over a wide variety of modules for what my children wanted to study. The number of students is fine. London is a great place to be. Staff ratios is fine. My DC at the LSE frequented office hours a lot. My other DC in London got heavily involved as an UG research assistant.

It's their choice of subject. But I'm not going to fork out £ks to waste on rent so they can attend a lesser university just to "live out". DH and I worked very hard for our money. If they got into Oxbridge of course we'd support them financially. They've all had one year out in London. The rest, at home with us. They choose the subject and career. I'm not forcing them down any path.

They've all got good grades and predictors. Youngest has straight A*s predicted they'll get into one London university at least.

What's wrong? Why should I not prioritise the reputation the university has with employers and the prestige the name bestows? The academics are the most important things. London unis (LSE, imperial for example) are the best in the world at what they do. We are fortunate that these unis are right on our doorstep.

The London unis have good sports facilities and a lot of the social life is based around the sports societies. The London unis over a wide variety of modules for what my children wanted to study. The number of students is fine. London is a great place to be. Staff ratios is fine. My DC at the LSE frequented office hours a lot. My other DC in London got heavily involved as an UG research assistant.

It's their choice of subject. But I'm not going to fork out £ks to waste on rent so they can attend a lesser university just to "live out". DH and I worked very hard for our money. If they got into Oxbridge of course we'd support them financially. They've all had one year out in London. The rest, at home with us. They choose the subject and career. I'm not forcing them down any path.

They've all got good grades and predictors. Youngest has straight A*s predicted they'll get into one London university at least.

I find it really depressing that you look at universities only in terms of their market value and 'trading up' or down. There might be all kinds of reasons for an 18-year-old to want to go elsewhere - better sports facilities, different modules in their chosen course, number of students, character of the town, staff ratios, etc. Ultimately it should be their choice, not yours. Most parents accept this, and the associated costs, as this thread shows. There's more to education than funnelling children down a preordained path.

There's also the question of the insurance choice. What happens if they don't get in to a university that is financially convenient for you? Should their insurance choice, which may well not be for a 'prestigious' university, also be geographically located to suit you? That is even more restrictive.

Just saying that since we are already in London, it makes little sense to go elsewhere. If it's not Oxbridge there's little to no "trade up" to going elsewhere.

My youngest son is now in his final year of a 4 year degree. He made his own decision to commute from home which is a 40-45 min bus journey. He did not want to go into student loan debt to pay for accommodation only around 40 mins away from home.
He was eligible for student bursaries because of my low income but would not have covered rent, let alone living expenses on top for food etc.
Luckily the Uni he is at was his first choice. He has also had free bus pass as here in Scotland they get free travel until they turn 22 which he will be next March, so only really a month or 2 until the end of the spring semester will he have to pay for transport whilst doing his final exams/dissertation.
He has been very lucky with friends who are staying in Edinburgh and occasionally crashes out at 1 of their flats if they have a late night out, otherwise he catches last bus home back here to Fife if night ends early enough. He doesn't feel he has missed out on the student experience and unlike a few of his friends, no debt to be repaid back once he starts his working adult life.

My youngest son is now in his final year of a 4 year degree. He made his own decision to commute from home which is a 40-45 min bus journey. He did not want to go into student loan debt to pay for accommodation only around 40 mins away from home.
He was eligible for student bursaries because of my low income but would not have covered rent, let alone living expenses on top for food etc.
Luckily the Uni he is at was his first choice. He has also had free bus pass as here in Scotland they get free travel until they turn 22 which he will be next March, so only really a month or 2 until the end of the spring semester will he have to pay for transport whilst doing his final exams/dissertation.
He has been very lucky with friends who are staying in Edinburgh and occasionally crashes out at 1 of their flats if they have a late night out, otherwise he catches last bus home back here to Fife if night ends early enough. He doesn't feel he has missed out on the student experience and unlike a few of his friends, no debt to be repaid back once he starts his working adult life.

I posted the actual regulations upthread - up to 6 miles from Carfax tower as an undergraduate, unless living with parents/guardians, in which case the limit is 25 miles away.

Utter bollox. Quite a few colleges are more than a mile from Carfax tower and loads of students live around Cowley road

Check the regs. When I was at Oxford in the 2000s, you weren't allowed to live more than a mile from Carfax Tower so he might have to live in anyway.

Thanks or all of the replies. A lot of people were pointing out that my households income is an important factor. My households combined income is around 90k. We aren't struggling financially but we're also not well off like some posts claimed.

She is starting to piss me off. High earners maybe but how many children ? Has their mortgage gone up ? Are they making up time following a period of unemployment ? Not everyone is as entitled as she and perhaps she has a cushion from her parents whereas many have not.

So I work more hours to pay for their amazing alcohol fuelled lifestyle ?

Don't be so ridiculous. The maintenance loan doesn't usually even cover halls fees these days let alone day to day living expenses. And this is before you even consider money for socialising.