I got shouted at in the gym today, AIBU?

Well didn't for actually getting to the gym lots of people wouldn't do it.

The 1st woman had no right to challenge you at all, look at it as her issue not yours.

You shouldn't have been shouted at about body spray but the person does have a point, the spray lingers and it's not pleasant when it interferes with your breathing.

To the pp who said people should just change at home, can I suggest you use your spray at home or your car etc. Breathing is slightly more important than any sort of spray.

It makes me so sad that this happened to you. What a horrible woman. I hope you don’t let it upset you too much. You’re worth so much more!

I think you should complain about the former incident. Doesn’t sound like a very nice gym.

F those people. Good on you for losing the weight and getting to the gym.

Absolutely complain about the one who insinuated you shouldn't be there. That is NEVER ok. How dare she.

Also re. body spray, unless you're twirling around spraying it like a ballerina and coating everyone and every surface, they can sod off. It's a changing room. The one at our local gym smelled like rotten feet last week, I guarantee your smell was more pleasant!

Well she sounds like a twat!
You need to walk straight back into that gym with your head held high, a strong and confident woman (fake it til you make it).
When I started working out years ago my self esteem and confidence were at an all time low and I had always had issues with my self image. I started out in gyms on army garrisons which were REALLY intimidating to begin with but with time my confidence and self esteem grew enormously as I got stronger and fitter and 'put myself out there'. I'm also a lot more resilient now and certainly take less shit from people.

No, she's obviously got some unfortunate issues - you don't. You obviously don't look like a man at 5ft 3 1/2, with long hair and a womanly figure. Perhaps you looked a bit of a nervous 'new girl' and she sniffed it out. Dismiss it/complain, OP. Buy a nice stick deodorant and get back in there! A couple more sessions and it'll be like your club.

Did these people actually shout? Like raised voices? Or just criticise you?
I mean, both criticisms were batshit, but people go on about shouting and screaming when no such thing has happened your description of the main incident doesn’t even sound shouty.

No it's not. Happens all the time.

You see, I don't think this is great at all. I think it means that a lot of not traditionally female presenting women are going to get aggressively challenged and we shouldn't have to put up with it. So much for 'you can always tell' - it's bullshit.

I'm almost 6 ft tall, muscular, not pretty. I have twice been aggressively challenged in women's loos - and that was before the ruling. And honestly, if another woman does that to me again, I'm going to call security on them and call them some absolutely choice names.

Your gym is horrible-poor you. Are there nicer ones you could go to.

P.S. You may not be a size 10 but never call yourself ugly.
Be proud of what you have achieved, and stay kind to yourself 💐💐💐💐💐

It's odd. 5ft 3 is very unusual height for a man and most women are great at determining sex compared to men. Being short and fat doesn't mean unfeminine at all by the way, most women get that so don't worry about that.

Spraying stuff isn't expected at the gym, mine has it banned. I thought most places did nowadays. Didn't know anyone still used bodyspray- makes me think of lynx and smelly 14yo boys tbh.

It’s not a massive deal, don’t worry.

Relatively small price to pay. 😡

Are you one of the women out there publicly harassing and shaming other women who don't conform to your standards of femininity?

My jaw just dropped reading your post OP. I am so sorry you experienced ignorance at that extortionate level.

Its none of her business and she’s downright rude and disrespectful to even think she can speak to another woman like that.

Dont let that kind of ugliness put you off.

Sending love to you 💐

you seem offended about the spray on deodorant. I forget that you haven’t got a leg to stand on but the other yeah you shouldn’t of been confronted like that if she had a problems with you, she should’ve gone to management.

I’d have flashed my boobs at her and told her to jog on. I’m sorry that happened to you and well done on the weight loss ❤️

The woman who thought you looked like a man was clearly off her trolley. Being short and fat doesn't make anyone look manly - if you were 6ft tall and muscular, I could understand it a bit. Unfortunately raising awareness about men infiltrating women's changing spaces means that some rather unwell people will overreact...

Look, you're doing brilliantly by going to the gym at all. Don't let the random nutters put you off.

The gym I go to actually provides free salt of the earth aerosol deodorant in the changing room for anyone to use. I have not noticed anyone complaining.

It’s great that women are feeling able now to defend female-only spaces, so important as I’m sure you’d agree OP. Sounds like this shouty woman handled it really badly though, and I’m not surprised you’re offended. I’d be mortified, and profusely apologetic, if I made such a mistake but I think it’s a relatively small price to pay to keep all women safer!
YABU on the body spray. It triggers asthma and allergies and it’s not a personal affront to ask gym users not to spray. You’d probably not even remember that if you hadn’t already been (understandably) shaken from the earlier unpleasant exchange. Try not to overthink it!

Do not let that nasty woman make you feel like you can't use the women only side. I miss having a gym that has that

I would remove myself rathef than shout at people however.