I got shouted at in the gym today, AIBU?

So now you know it's inconsiderate to use an aerosol will do you something different next time?

Exactly.

Don’t let that put you off, you’ve worked really hard to lose weight and feel better about yourself,
the gym is a great next step to continue feeling better

I don’t believe a word of this. Why mention the lack of bulge…?

But every gym will have people spraying deodorant and perfume etc. It’s the shouting that is wrong. If someone said ‘ excuse me that’s making me feel tight in the chest’ I’m sure the response would be different. But op says she stopped typing as it’s so minor. Someone shouting at you is not minor and this is why I doubt OP’s recollection. Shouting or speaking?

I have PCOS, sometimes 5 o'clock shadow and a much deeper voice than usual because of the extra testosterone that causes, am built like an American lumberjack, and went through a period of having a completely shaved head a few years ago.

I must have just been extremely lucky, as I've never once been mistaken for a man. Not even in the dark, from a distance or from behind. Because I very much look, move and sound like a woman, even with all of the above.

I'm sorry you went through this op, it would be more likely that the woman needed glasses she'd taken off to work out perhaps, than you actually appearing like a man because you are a bit over weight?

What? No it's not, not if the cost is other women's wellbeing. Nobody should be shouting at anyone because they think they are in the wrong place (it's a completely different scenario to a known male using a facility).

Women have the right to use female facilities even if they don't meet random people's ideas of femininity.

OP, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please try not to let it put you off going back to the gym.

I think it's very inconsiderate. A lot of people struggle to breathe in a room with spray in it.

Ignore the woman who sounds deranged!
Re body sprays / deodorants etc - it would trigger a severe asthma attack for me. In fact I’ve just spent a week in Hosp, narrowly avoiding ITU, for exactly this reason. Please consider using a roll on in public spaces. I only use the gym showers occasionally if empty or have no other option as appreciate people will use a spray of some kind. No one deliberately sets out to cause harm but people are often unaware of the potential consequences of their actions.

Lol sounds legit. Also has Tandoori's seal of approval so you know it's real.

OP, I'm so sorry for the experience you had and that so many in here are dismissing that it happened and that it upset you. I know how much it can shake your sense of self, please don't let other people's negative talk feed your self narrative. Well done on the weight loss and going to the gym even though you were uncomfortable, you're doing amazing and deserve to feel great about yourself.

Oh hello, I'm glad you've seen this thread. I hope it may provide you some insight into the actual* real world impact/ consequences for many women of the fundamentalism you are promoting.

People can tell the difference between men and women FFS. Stop pretending they can't.

this is what you say to a woman who has just posted their experience this very day of being mistaken for a man? The denial of is off the charts.

You could set off an asthma attack in someone which can be fatal.

Not always. It is unpleasant to be shouted at but it can be lethal to have an asthma attack.

Side note, although I support LGBTQ rights - as long as doesn’t encroach on women’s rights, I begrudge using the word cis to describe myself. I’m female , end of .

Don’t let that nutty woman stop you from your health kick OP. Also Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sounds like your confidence is low and gymming & getting in shape will help you with that, Put your head phones on and crack on.
But Maybe take a roll on , I’ve been choked out by peoples spray on anti perspirant before, but I wouldn’t shout at someone. There is no need for that . So rude.

Brilliant 😂 Everyone can tell the difference, except the woman who stopped me, and the woman who stopped the OP. Can we all just mind our own genitals and carry on with life without a fuss. Would rather share toilets with a trans woman minding her ow business than some of the unhinged women I’ve met in toilets who think you’re a man if you aren’t wearing a short skirt and horrid fake eyelashes

Yeah, glad we both agree that would be ridiculous and unnecessary as humans are pretty, fucking accurate at sexing other humans whatever they are wearing...which suggests misgendering is a non-issue that is being exaggerated in an attempt to undermine the completely legitimate need for single sex provision.

Thanks @Catiette - I’m not nasty. I’m a short, tubby middle-aged gym avoider myself and feel genuinely horrible for the OP but I hope that she can put the frankly weird overreaction of the shouty gym woman behind her and at the same time understand that for those of us who have been assaulted in spaces that should have been safe - and maybe shouty woman is one such fellow woman - it is important that we all feel we can defend our rights in this way. But preferably more tactfully and with the right glasses on, since from the descriptions, how OP got mistaken for a man is definitely a bit confounding.
And I agree this is where all the be-kinds etc have got us.

Blimey. The one who should feel awful is that woman. To use an 80s phrase, what a wally! If she isn’t sitting at home right now cringing then she is the abnormal one. There
really are some odd people around and I’m sorry you encountered one in a place
you like going. You can hold your head high when you next head in there!

Yes - get some bling on your pink swimsuit and make sure your trainers are pink. I wear a black Speedo swimming costume and I’m thinking I need to make it more girlie 🙄

Clearly some people can’t, since there’s at least two women on this thread who have been accused of being men.

How ridiculous. I’m a cis female and I guarantee anyone who shouts at me is going to have very hurt feelings.