I got shouted at in the gym today, AIBU?

The other woman's behaviour was rude & inappropriate. You have just as much right as another woman to use the space. I can imagine how difficult it is to use the gym when everyone else seems to have more experience than you, but honestly, few people pay any attention to what is happening around them.

I know this is easy to say & much harder to do, but please, don't call yourself ugly. I don't know a single woman who is totally happy with their appearance, but I do know those with the woest self esteem think & speak of themselves as you do.

My situation isn't the same, but my body is fixed at odd angles, & I use a powerchair full-time. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't get looked at by someone. It bothers me less now, but to start with I almost gave up. Perseverance was the tight thing to do.

Do make management aware & keep reminding yourself that the gym is for everyone, & good luck on your journey.

Well the woman asking you whether you are a woman was just insane - that’s her issue.

The woman complaining about the body spray. In 2
minds about this. Body spray is really irritating to some people and it isn’t essential - so I think best not to use in a public changing room.

yanbu OP. She must be mental, honestly. It’s her, not you.

Sol de Janeiro is really overpowering body spray. My 15 year old loves it but it leaves the rest of us gasping for breath. Much worse than a blast of Sure for example.

I’m really confused as to why you were mistaken for a male as a short, slightly dumpy, long blonde hair with breast sounds pretty female shaped to me. I hope you aren’t put off the gym because of one rude idiot. I got mistaken for a man once as I used to have very short hair. It was obvious I was female up close as I have a feminine face. The person carried on being rude I think it was her embarrassment at having made a mistake, she took it out on me. Maybe an element of that in your experience?

OP do not stop going to the gym. I hope that woman is throughly disappointed in herself.

Hitting the full house on the trans bingo card there are you not. ‘Men will hurt you anyway’, ‘I’ve met plenty of harmless trans women’, ‘do you want trans men in your spaces’. ‘What about intersex people’.

Most men won’t hurt you period. Statistically you’re also unlikely to ever be burgled but I bet you lock your door/s. Burglars are going to burgle you anyway hey? My partner wouldn’t harm you (and he’s got long hair funnily enough). How do you know that though? Because I said so? If he woke up tomorrow and said he felt like a woman he magically becomes the safest person ever? Unfortunately of the 98% of the sexual and violent crimes that do occur, these are committed by males. Sex based provision exists for a reason.

I’ve met plenty of lovely men who wouldn’t harm a fly, I still don’t want to get changed in front of them or have them around me whilst peeing or whatever, cubicles or not if I can avoid it. For privacy and dignity. You don’t get to give away that right on behalf of me or other women because YOU are cool with it.

I’ve met a nice trans woman, I’ve met a horrific sex offender who was trans. So what?

People with DsD’s (I believe the term intersex is outdated) are still one or the other. There isn’t a third sex and I don’t know why it’s brought up in trans convos as some sort of gotcha.

I’m happy with trans men in my spaces as they are female.

Sorry to hear you are a rape survivor, I am too.

but men don’t need to pretend to want to be women or dress like women to rape or sexually assault us. They will do it anyway. People shouldn’t be getting their genitalia out in front of any strangers. I get changed in the gym but always keep my sports bra and knickers on. Toilets are cubicles so private. I’ve met several trans women and never had any issues with any of them, they have been beyond respectful and just mind their own business and want to be left in peace. If you’re so set on this, what about intersex people? What about trans men? Do you want trans men in female toilets and changing rooms too? Since their birth sex was female? I would call out harassment wherever I see it and wouldn’t tolerate it from any gender, but genuinely have no issue with sharing toilets and changing rooms with trans women. Anywhere that people will be naked should be a private space anyway. Hopefully the days of shared showers (god I remember those from PE back in the day) are long gone

Or a consequence of men trying to get into female only spaces 🤷‍♀️

There used to be someone at my gym who complained about aerosol deodorant in the changing room. She’d have some sort of choking fit and rush out half naked. She’d asked the gym management to ban spray deodorant and they told her to jog on.

Sounds a troll thread. Very soon after a GC thread. Reported

I was so proud of our Rugby World Cup Winners because that is what women look like. You be proud of yourself!

To you it’s not no

The incident with the woman I’d report to the front desk. The second incident you were wrong to use a spray.
3 sprays of what? It wouldn’t matter if I was the only other person in there with you whatever you’re spraying would set me off coughing and take my breath away

Evidence ?

Um, transwomen are MALES with PENIS AND TESTICLES. They are not women. And if you are saying a male in a dress with a cock and balls and male height and male strength are more likely to be assaulted than an actual woman, @TheCheekyCyanHelper , that is batshit. You obviously have put zero thought into this at all. Evidence shows transwomen commit sexual offences 5 times greater than so called "cis" males.

It does seem rather strange that trans ideologists/anti-feminists with an apparent agenda are now coming out with all these stories that they were questioned.

Seems rather strange timing.... Ergo, I don't believe most of them, I think they're made up to cause trouble for feminists and to try and justify the trans ideologist stance.

And that you'd rather see a man undress in front of you and see his penis and testicles rather than undress in front of a feminist that protects the rights of rape and trauma survivors and all women and girls isn't a great testament to you. Me? I will always prefer the protective if dogged feminist over a male exposing his penis to women and girls, but you do you. I am not ashamed of out and loud feminism.

It isn't 'anti-trans', it is anti MALE in female spaces. And it's very strange these 'stories' are coming out now, when we've never had them before. 99.999999999999% times it's obvious what sex a person is, no gEnItaL InsPeCtIOns needed. Most women if on the rare-never occasions they are questioned, as soon as they speak it's obvious. Other women have said they were questioned, and they were grateful women were looking out for each other and it didn't bother them.

then mind your own business about what their gender/sex is because, who cares?

Who cares? Who cares?! Wtf? I think any normal person would 'care' that a male is exposing his penis to women and girls in a womens changing room. It is not normal to not care about that. As a rape survivor I most certainly care. Even though there is an onslaught of anti-women and misogynistic comments on this site trying to deny women and girls our hard won spaces and rights. I care. so does any other normal human being.

Hmm - I suppose I'm just finding it hard to take the OP's assertions at face value.
Anyone who has taken even a slight interest in the gender identity debate knows that there is massive push back and non-compliance with the supreme court clarification on single sex provision from the TRA camp. Just look at what the captured unions are doing at the moment - fighting tooth and nail to avoid compliance.

Pretending that there is now a massive problem with the misgendering of non conforming females in public spaces is an attempt to undermine women's basic (and completely lawful) right to privacy, dignity and protection from sexual assault, harassment and voyeurism in situations where they are physically vulnerable.

But go on, I'll play. If misgendering does happen occasionally, and yes I agree that could be unpleasant for some women (including transmen) - although speaking pretty much sorts out most misunderstandings instantly - the fault lies totally at the door of the indoctrinated idiots who thought it was a good idea to break the social contract so men could live out their fantasies. A contract that was implemented precisely because we live in a world where females are routinely harassed, abused and exploited by males. Protections should never be removed unless you can prove the need for them has disappeared - that's basic safeguarding 101. Does anyone really believe women and girls are suddenly less at risk from men in 2025 because a small but persistent group of paraphilic men managed to convince wider institutions that queer theory was a road map for how society should be set up rather than a wanky, self-indulgent thought experiment that should have stayed in academia?

The op has long blonde hair and boobs and yet someone shouted at her because she looked like a man due to being short and overweight This didn’t happen

But it’s not a non issue because it very much is the issue in this thread. I think the shouty woman was pretty stupid and acting on her own nasty prejudices rather than actually attempting to apply any critical thinking to the situation. But there are a lot of people like her in the world. Just because you are reasonably competent at recognising a woman even if she’s not dressed in pink, don’t assume everyone else is. Honestly some people are very stupid and nasty and are looking for an opportunity to attack.

Why would you smell after showering?