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AIBU?

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Partners Adult Daughter

161 replies

Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 17:45

Been with current partner 3 years, his adult daughter (20’s) moved back in with him recently. She has complained about us having sex (in our bedroom) we had radio on and was very very quiet (it was at night) she sent her dad nasty text messages - referencing both of us - saying we were disgusting and that it’s not fair on her.

I am trying to work out how we manage this as she is here every night, so we can’t abstein permanently ? I do understand - but we were very very quiet and respectful but her room is next door so can’t guarantee her hearing nothing. Are we being unreasonable ? Any suggestions? Don’t want to cause any problems between dad and daughter.

OP posts:
ishimbob · 03/10/2025 18:05

Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 18:02

no Don’t live together but because of his working hours and he doesn’t drive, I have always stayed at his, currently I only stay at mine a couple of nights a week, my daughter is away at university, when she is home I live at mine, hope that makes sense

It would make things easier all round if you both sometimes stayed at yours - even if that's just once a week, would give you some space from each other

TotallyUnapologeticOmnivore · 03/10/2025 18:03

She is being ridiculous, but she is perfectly at liberty to find her own accommodation (and see how well her no-sex rule goes down in a house share).

Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 18:02

jeaux90 · 03/10/2025 17:58

Very clearly state that everyone is allowed their own lives including parents. Do you live together though? Do you have your own place?

no Don’t live together but because of his working hours and he doesn’t drive, I have always stayed at his, currently I only stay at mine a couple of nights a week, my daughter is away at university, when she is home I live at mine, hope that makes sense

OP posts:
Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 17:59

autumn1614 · 03/10/2025 17:54

Difficult one…

how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you could hear her? What would you suggest to her?

is there no possibility of doing when she’s not in the house?

Virtually impossible to do it when she’s not there, I work 9-5, partner works in hospitality so he gets home late….I wear ear plugs at night so wouldn’t be a problem to me and it’s natural, we are in our 50’s, she is an adult, like I said I don’t want to upset anyone.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 03/10/2025 17:58

Very clearly state that everyone is allowed their own lives including parents. Do you live together though? Do you have your own place?

autumn1614 · 03/10/2025 17:54

Difficult one…

how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you could hear her? What would you suggest to her?

is there no possibility of doing when she’s not in the house?

Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 17:53

ClawsandEffect · 03/10/2025 17:50

Yeah, had this with my ex's adult daughter. Even older! In her 30s.

She told him to keep me quiet while we were having sex, objecting to our activity. Despite having a parade of different boyfriends through her room in his house.

He probably should have told her to keep her nose out. Now he has no sex. Bet he's regretting THAT little lack of dealing with the issue. 😂😂😂😂

So did you end it? She has him wrapped round her little finger, and he doesn’t like any confrontation

OP posts:
ClawsandEffect · 03/10/2025 17:50

Yeah, had this with my ex's adult daughter. Even older! In her 30s.

She told him to keep me quiet while we were having sex, objecting to our activity. Despite having a parade of different boyfriends through her room in his house.

He probably should have told her to keep her nose out. Now he has no sex. Bet he's regretting THAT little lack of dealing with the issue. 😂😂😂😂

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 03/10/2025 17:49

Could you loudly watch pornography every night so she can never accept tell when you're being intimate?

Ilovemychocolate · 03/10/2025 17:48

Tell her to get some bloody headphones!
Or a life!

Ponoka7 · 03/10/2025 17:47

She needs to move out again, wear ear plugs, or ear pods.