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Original poster

Partners Adult Daughter

161 replies

Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 17:45

Been with current partner 3 years, his adult daughter (20’s) moved back in with him recently. She has complained about us having sex (in our bedroom) we had radio on and was very very quiet (it was at night) she sent her dad nasty text messages - referencing both of us - saying we were disgusting and that it’s not fair on her.

I am trying to work out how we manage this as she is here every night, so we can’t abstein permanently ? I do understand - but we were very very quiet and respectful but her room is next door so can’t guarantee her hearing nothing. Are we being unreasonable ? Any suggestions? Don’t want to cause any problems between dad and daughter.

OP posts:
Blablibladirladada · 04/10/2025 18:29

Oh dear…
yeah for a kid it is gross to hear their parents/step parents doing it. 🤮… but indeed she is the one that needs to :

  • move out
  • go to friends sometimes to give you space
  • not be childish and send nasty texts

First option is what she needs to do asap.

GentleJadeOP · 04/10/2025 18:08

ColinOfficeTrolley · 03/10/2025 18:59

Nobody wants to hear their dad shagging ffs.

She's probably as mortified as you OP.

I agree.

GentleJadeOP · 04/10/2025 18:03

Well you must have been making noise or how’d she know? Can you move bed away from her wall?

FlockofSquirrels · 04/10/2025 17:08

AntiBullshit · 04/10/2025 11:02

It would be weird to hear your parent(s) having sex just as it would be to hear your adult child doing it.

she should not have said anything

id be tempted to patronise her with the Daddy and I are in a loving committed relationship and find each other sexy so we will have sex when and where we like. Pleae leave you key after you’ve packed and left

Your fist two are spot on.

No one has spoken to OP about this. OP only knows they discussed it because she was reading her DP’s private text messages with his daughter, and in those
texts his reply to his daughter was to remind her it’s his house not hers. DP chose not to even mention it to OP, and has not asked her to be quieter or do a single other thing to change.

It would be absolutely absurd and toxic for OP to insert herself uninvited into this conversation or say one single thing to the daughter about how she should leave a home that is not OP’s.

ClawsandEffect · 04/10/2025 16:27

Itmakesme · 04/10/2025 09:02

This

He can’t drive
Has two children by different women
Has sex that his daughter can hear with a new random

What a catch

Show quote history

You think a 3 year relationship is a random?

70sMuuMuu · 04/10/2025 15:25

Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 22:06

I didn’t snoop 🤣 I was laid next to him as the messages came through I could see them, hardly snooping.

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Oh OP, don’t ruin their fun, it might be the only fun they have all day.

AntiBullshit · 04/10/2025 11:02

It would be weird to hear your parent(s) having sex just as it would be to hear your adult child doing it.

she should not have said anything

id be tempted to patronise her with the Daddy and I are in a loving committed relationship and find each other sexy so we will have sex when and where we like. Pleae leave you key after you’ve packed and left

Katemax82 · 04/10/2025 10:51

You could try doing it in total silence like my husband and I (we live in a bungalow with 4 kids)

KimberleyClark · 04/10/2025 09:46

Mydahliasareshit · 03/10/2025 18:27

You could always get a bit creative locations wise OP!
Easier in summer than winter, granted.
Could you stretch to a garden room that's just for the two of you, or a shepherd's hut? Could be quite romantic.

Edited

The daughter would still complain that she knows what they are up to when they go there. Young people always think older people having sex is disgusting.

Clychaugog · 04/10/2025 09:43

Give her 20 quid to go to the cinema

whistlesandbells · 04/10/2025 09:24

Seems after 3 years you have reached a point where some kind of progression in the relationship is starting to be relevant. Life happens all around us - children living at home, work demands, children needed to return home from education - and adult children needing to become independent. Your living arrangements are catching up with you as a couple. Maybe it is time to rethink this or it has run its course if you’re happy as you are. I wouldn’t compromise with another adult female into the mix when I have my own home and peace and quiet.

Itmakesme · 04/10/2025 09:02

BuckChuckets · 03/10/2025 23:41

Hasn't he given the ick by now? A grown man unable to come to your house so you can only have sex in the same house as his daughter?

This

He can’t drive
Has two children by different women
Has sex that his daughter can hear with a new random

What a catch

lazyarse123 · 04/10/2025 08:49

Why her some noise cancelling headphones.

PollyBell · 04/10/2025 08:04

BuckChuckets · 03/10/2025 23:41

Hasn't he given the ick by now? A grown man unable to come to your house so you can only have sex in the same house as his daughter?

And does not care she can hear it that is really revolting

BuckChuckets · 04/10/2025 07:36

Bernie54 · 04/10/2025 00:18

That’s my choice about my house I prefer it that way and she only moved in 2 months ago, we have been together 3 years

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Why do you prefer him not coming to your house? That seems very casual after 3 years, do you see some kind of future together? Because you don't want him at your house, you can't have sex at his house, you don't want to stay at hotels... what's the point?

Hairycherry · 04/10/2025 02:05

I don’t think your sex is as quiet as you think

Absentosaur · 04/10/2025 02:02

grumpygrape · 03/10/2025 21:51

He doesn't drive is a fact.

Why, is of no relevance to the issue.

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Not at all. They have an issue. Him driving could help resolve it.

Original poster
Bernie54 · 04/10/2025 00:18

BuckChuckets · 03/10/2025 23:41

Hasn't he given the ick by now? A grown man unable to come to your house so you can only have sex in the same house as his daughter?

That’s my choice about my house I prefer it that way and she only moved in 2 months ago, we have been together 3 years

OP posts:
BuckChuckets · 03/10/2025 23:41

Hasn't he given the ick by now? A grown man unable to come to your house so you can only have sex in the same house as his daughter?

Original poster
Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 23:25

IsThisTheWaytoSlamMyPillow · 03/10/2025 23:05

Or, could his daughter stay in / move into your empty house?

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Are you insane?! It’s only empty until my daughter is back from university which is where she will stay in her long holidays

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 03/10/2025 23:22

IsThisTheWaytoSlamMyPillow · 03/10/2025 23:05

Or, could his daughter stay in / move into your empty house?

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😂 Why the fuck should the OP give her home to a 24-year-old woman who is a) no relation to her and b) is really obnoxious to/about her?

This forum is fucking insane sometimes.

BauhausOfEliott · 03/10/2025 23:16

SnippySnappy · 03/10/2025 21:39

Not quiet enough. Just rein it in a bit. How would you feel if you heard your own mother or father fucking?

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I’d think “Oops, awkward” and then I’d put earbuds in and forget about it, because I’m a grown adult.

People are entitled to enjoy a shag in their own bloody house. This isn’t the adult daughter’s family home. She’s moved into her dad’s house, in which she never lived, at the age of 24. Her father isn’t an elderly man; he’s only in 50s. Of course he’s going to fuck his girlfriend. She cannot start telling him what he can and can’t do in his home.

IsThisTheWaytoSlamMyPillow · 03/10/2025 23:05

Zanatdy · 03/10/2025 19:19

You have an easy solution - your empty house

Or, could his daughter stay in / move into your empty house?

70sMuuMuu · 03/10/2025 22:59

SnippySnappy · 03/10/2025 21:49

You'd literally rather hear your parents shagging than read the word 'fuck' on an online forum? Takes all sorts I suppose 😂

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It’s not the word, it’s the sentence chosen and the person that chose them. So, there you go again, proving my (fucking) point.

Original poster
Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 22:25

FlockofSquirrels · 03/10/2025 22:11

Did he engage you in any conversation about the texts or ask you verbally or nonverbally to read them?

Reading someone's texts over their shoulder or similar is indeed snooping.

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Yes I guess it is I suppose. Never mind, will just ignore for now, see what happens

OP posts: