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Original poster

Partners Adult Daughter

161 replies

Bernie54 · 03/10/2025 17:45

Been with current partner 3 years, his adult daughter (20’s) moved back in with him recently. She has complained about us having sex (in our bedroom) we had radio on and was very very quiet (it was at night) she sent her dad nasty text messages - referencing both of us - saying we were disgusting and that it’s not fair on her.

I am trying to work out how we manage this as she is here every night, so we can’t abstein permanently ? I do understand - but we were very very quiet and respectful but her room is next door so can’t guarantee her hearing nothing. Are we being unreasonable ? Any suggestions? Don’t want to cause any problems between dad and daughter.

OP posts:
GanninHyem · 04/10/2025 22:28

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 22:08

I agree

I am imagining if my DS moved out and then back in and he heard me having sex with my boyfriend.

Show quote history

Quite.

It's fucking weird not to be revolted by the sounds of your parent(s) shagging. Like they would be thrilled hearing that, or maybe they would and that's the problem 🤮

Nee one is saying don't have sex, just keep it down. You literally can't have been quiet if she heard you.

Hollyberryred · 04/10/2025 22:21

She is not your daughter so you're going to feel irritated and annoyed. Your partner on the other hand will naturally feel protective over her. Yes she.is an adult and theoretically should be in a position to live independently but life is not so straightforward, which is why she has had to move into dad's house. It will be gross for her hearing you having sex. Her living there will be temporary because I doubt she really wants to be there, so in the meantime, find the time to be intimate when she's out of the house or go to yours.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 22:08

CLola24 · 04/10/2025 22:06

I'm absolutely on the daughters side. Hearing anyone having sex is horrific let alone your own dad. Sex doesn't have to be loud. Furthermore, it's her home. Moving back with your parents at that age normally is not a first choice and she's probably already feeling rotten enough.

I agree

I am imagining if my DS moved out and then back in and he heard me having sex with my boyfriend.

CLola24 · 04/10/2025 22:06

I'm absolutely on the daughters side. Hearing anyone having sex is horrific let alone your own dad. Sex doesn't have to be loud. Furthermore, it's her home. Moving back with your parents at that age normally is not a first choice and she's probably already feeling rotten enough.

suburburban · 04/10/2025 21:52

I think she just has to ignore it or move out

awful of her to send texts to her df

CarrotCrusader · 04/10/2025 21:40

Janicchoplin · 04/10/2025 20:12

Some of the answers to this post is ludicrous. What are you 16? The daughter is a grown woman of 24 years old. Acting like a child embarrassed by her elders having sex.
What she's a virgin? I doubt that. She has come home because she's had a breakup or an end of lease. Either way she doesn't want to be there. So she's taking it out on dad's girlfriend because she can. No one is challenging her. She's allowed to get away with whatever she wants to. And your blaming this lady.
Not good really.

How do you know she's come home because of a breakup or end of lease?

FlockofSquirrels · 04/10/2025 21:39

Laurmolonlabe · 04/10/2025 21:33

In that case don't visit again until it is sorted out- your partner needs to talk to her, he gets no more of you- you will find out in short order how important you are to him.

There's nothing to sort.

No one has had a single conversation with OP about this. OP snooped on her boyfriends' texts and saw that the daughter had complained directly to him. He handled it himself by telling daughter that it's his house. He chose not to bring it up to OP and has not asked her to change a single thing.

CarrotCrusader · 04/10/2025 21:37

Mydahliasareshit · 03/10/2025 18:27

You could always get a bit creative locations wise OP!
Easier in summer than winter, granted.
Could you stretch to a garden room that's just for the two of you, or a shepherd's hut? Could be quite romantic.

Edited

Are you insane? Why should op go to all that trouble and expense to appease her stepdaughter?

Diarygirlqueen · 04/10/2025 21:35

Although you say you dont want to cause trouble, its very obvious you don't like her!

I would hate to hear my dad and his partner having sex, as most people would.
If you can't manage when she's out of the house, go to your home to do the deed!

Laurmolonlabe · 04/10/2025 21:33

In that case don't visit again until it is sorted out- your partner needs to talk to her, he gets no more of you- you will find out in short order how important you are to him.

Petrolitis · 04/10/2025 21:26

Screamingabdabz · 03/10/2025 18:55

I feel sorry for her. She’s a young woman and it’s probably not an easy option to ‘just move out and get her own place’ - it must be revolting being stuck and hearing two middle aged people shagging in the place she thinks of as home. I’d be mortified if my boyfriend’s dd even heard a peep, let alone complained multiple times about it.

What a horrible fucking ageist post.

Sex is natural in all age groups.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself with your nastiness.

She's 24, she's 8 years over the age of consent, 6 years over being able to drive. She's well within the age where she could rent a room in a shared house.

She is an entitled adult behaving like a spoiled 13 year old.

pineapplesundae · 04/10/2025 21:16

Or move daughter to your house.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 21:13

Laurmolonlabe · 04/10/2025 21:04

Agree absolutely it's not fair on her that you have a life , so it is imperative that she moves out straight away- otherwise your home your rules.

The OP doesn’t live there, the DP and his DD do.

Laurmolonlabe · 04/10/2025 21:04

Agree absolutely it's not fair on her that you have a life , so it is imperative that she moves out straight away- otherwise your home your rules.

Lovehascomeandgone · 04/10/2025 21:00

She Is a CF, she needs to move out.

Wherethewildthingsfart · 04/10/2025 20:54

Why did she move back in with her dad?

It’s hard, I can understand your point but also it can’t be nice for anyone to hear your parent having sex (no matter how quiet).

Maybe buy her earplugs or headphones for Christmas?

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 20:43

I’d leave your DP to deal with it, it’s his DD ant they live there.

Brainstorm23 · 04/10/2025 20:40

I can't believe some of these replies. As much as OP is entitled to a sex life nobody wants to lie in bed and listen to other people have sex never mind their parent. It would be different if there was no other option but OP has her own place so they can go there and have all the sex they want.

Original poster
Bernie54 · 04/10/2025 20:38

Janicchoplin · 04/10/2025 20:12

Some of the answers to this post is ludicrous. What are you 16? The daughter is a grown woman of 24 years old. Acting like a child embarrassed by her elders having sex.
What she's a virgin? I doubt that. She has come home because she's had a breakup or an end of lease. Either way she doesn't want to be there. So she's taking it out on dad's girlfriend because she can. No one is challenging her. She's allowed to get away with whatever she wants to. And your blaming this lady.
Not good really.

Thank you

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 04/10/2025 20:23

Rearrange furniture? So wardrobes are on the adjoining wall. How many bedrooms are there?

Janicchoplin · 04/10/2025 20:12

Some of the answers to this post is ludicrous. What are you 16? The daughter is a grown woman of 24 years old. Acting like a child embarrassed by her elders having sex.
What she's a virgin? I doubt that. She has come home because she's had a breakup or an end of lease. Either way she doesn't want to be there. So she's taking it out on dad's girlfriend because she can. No one is challenging her. She's allowed to get away with whatever she wants to. And your blaming this lady.
Not good really.

Primmyhill · 04/10/2025 20:09

To hear your dad having sex at any age is a bit grim. You must have been making noise she could hear above the radio. Just bite the pillow or something.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 04/10/2025 19:43

Can you not imagine how grim it is to hear your dad having sex? Just keep it down!

Oldwmn · 04/10/2025 19:35

Ponoka7 · 03/10/2025 17:47

She needs to move out again, wear ear plugs, or ear pods.

What? Tell her to fuck off!

independentfriend · 04/10/2025 19:21

Rearrange the accommodation so that your bedrooms aren't next to each other.

Other soundproofing measures - hang rugs / thick curtains on both sides of the shared wall. Consider rearranging the furniture to move the bed further away from the shared wall, if possible.

If that doesn't work you're going to be a bit stuck in that house given that it's rented and you can't do building work to it.

You have a soundproofing problem. Intention isn't magic - you were correctly trying to be quiet but it wasn't in practice quiet enough. Nobody should have to listen to a parent doing sexual things. (And yes vice versa - no one should have to listen to their child either). Doesn't matter who owns / rents the house.