Page 9 | Colleague sent me message by mistake

Islandhopper10 · 2025-10-03T16:15:05+00:00

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress. I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it. It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji. Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it. Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

CrystalShoe · 04/10/2025 03:26

FarmGirl78 · 03/10/2025 18:16

Yes of course we (nearly) all find others attractive, and I've certainly commented on it. But I've never commented on it implying they were dressing a certain way for their day at work with the sole objective of turning on the other sex. You can't see that's sleazy? Sleazy that he thinks OP dresses for his pressure.

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Dresses for his pressure 😂😂 Sounds like the lift-and-separate scrunch leggings raised his blood pressure, for sure!

CrystalShoe · 04/10/2025 03:17

I would be really embarrassed, but I probably wouldn't complain. No point making an enemy, and he said nothing to you directly. You can't really police other people's conversations.

I'm old and fat so I'd love to be in a position where I could wear something as tight as leggings and look really sexy - which he must have thought, considering the sweat emoji! It was inappropriate of course, but that's the silver lining!

bunnygrav3 · 04/10/2025 03:10

Wow. While im completely behind you on the sexual harassment. The way you're speaking about your female coworkers is abhorrent.

Shame on you.
AND shame on him.

Francestein · 04/10/2025 02:28

I would write in the group chat that you saw the message about your leggings and it’s great to know exactly where you stand. I would also consider hiring a nun’s habit to wear to the next team meeting.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 04/10/2025 02:20

I think it's yet another sign that people shouldn't be wearing leggings as a substitute for trousers.

Milosc · 04/10/2025 01:57

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 21:41

Then they can advert their gaze. Other people's opinions of her body aren't her problem. People need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves and stop making comments about other people's bodies

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But it's okay for the OP to comment about other women's bodies in her office? How the leggings wouldn't look good on any of them because they are soooooo large? They only look great on the OP and her ass worth dying over? Hypocritical wouldn't you say? 🙄

Vitriolinsanity · 04/10/2025 01:31

@Franpieno, I meant that’s where I hoped she worked. I’m trying and failing to imagine getting onto the trading floor in scrunch bum leggings. PR sounds very racy 🤣

fourseasonsinoneday1 · 04/10/2025 01:24

24karatPalamino · 03/10/2025 21:35

Op, I am currently a UK size 8 to 10, with a lovely defined waistline.

And I would not wear those scrunch leggings, even if they were the last thing on earth. I’m not old either. I have long dark hair and tanned skin. I’m a beaut and very happy with how I look. But those leggings are so trashy, seriously. They are cheap looking and indecent.

Now I realise your partner likes them. That might be because he gets to see your arse crack and flaps in them. But this isn’t nice for everyone.

Pervert men will also notice. They don’t think you’re beautiful or desirable in a holistic and complimentary way, it’s again just sexual (hence the sweat emoji).

But is that who you want to attract? It never was for me, but then I’ve never set out to try and impress anyone but myself.

Equally though, I think this thread is either desperate or bollocks. Mainly because every six months or so we get a ‘I’m attracting all this unwanted attention in my everyday, big standard scrunch arse leggings - is it because I’m just so desirable and the men at work (your husbands) can’t handle me’ threads.

Nailed it.

aperollingintotheweekend · 04/10/2025 01:12

24karatPalamino · 03/10/2025 21:35

Op, I am currently a UK size 8 to 10, with a lovely defined waistline.

And I would not wear those scrunch leggings, even if they were the last thing on earth. I’m not old either. I have long dark hair and tanned skin. I’m a beaut and very happy with how I look. But those leggings are so trashy, seriously. They are cheap looking and indecent.

Now I realise your partner likes them. That might be because he gets to see your arse crack and flaps in them. But this isn’t nice for everyone.

Pervert men will also notice. They don’t think you’re beautiful or desirable in a holistic and complimentary way, it’s again just sexual (hence the sweat emoji).

But is that who you want to attract? It never was for me, but then I’ve never set out to try and impress anyone but myself.

Equally though, I think this thread is either desperate or bollocks. Mainly because every six months or so we get a ‘I’m attracting all this unwanted attention in my everyday, big standard scrunch arse leggings - is it because I’m just so desirable and the men at work (your husbands) can’t handle me’ threads.

👏

CalendarKelly · 04/10/2025 01:10

At my work, if someone wore scrunch bum leggings they would be told to go home and change.

aperollingintotheweekend · 04/10/2025 00:56

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

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So only you can pull them off because you’re not a size 16? Your attitude is grim.
as are scrunch leggings, extremely inappropriate for work, casual attire or not. Yuk

LeopardPants · 04/10/2025 00:55

Have just wasted a good chunk of time reading this hilarious thread!

The next time I have a client meeting I will dust off my shortest body con dress - if any man so much as looks at me I’ll shout “misogynistic dirty old Mad Men perv” at them and stomp off to HR.

But first OP should probably clarify the maximum size one should be to wear a body con dress… 🤨

TomPinch · 04/10/2025 00:53

I am waiting for the thread in which someone turns up to work stark naked, overhears one colleague remarking to another about it, and asks aibu to report to HR Or who asks aibu to report to HR because they're asked to put something on.

Bones101 · 04/10/2025 00:39

I'm so confused why you were wearing leggings around work colleagues like that ?

I'd deffo report because who was that message meant for ? Bet he has a wife too

Bones101 · 04/10/2025 00:39

I'm so confused why you were wearing leggings around work colleagues like that ?

I'd deffo report because who was that message meant for ? Bet he has a wife too

fourseasonsinoneday1 · 04/10/2025 00:35

MayaPinion · 03/10/2025 23:23

Haha, well he’s not wrong, is he? The purpose of scrunch butt leggings is to get people to look at your arse 😂

Yep. Absolutely this.

OP is loving the attention from the men and boasting about it here for some reason 😅

CrispsPlease · 04/10/2025 00:29

I'd take it as a compliment and it'd boost my ego for 5 minutes.

Some uptight people on here. 'Report him' FFS 🙄

clickyteeclick · 04/10/2025 00:15

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. God forbid anyone size 16 and above DARES wear leggings. Especially those ones that make your bum hole look like a cats bum hole. They’re strictly for slim girls who can carry off the bum hole look. Congrats. You got us….you had me thinking this was a real thread for a minute there!

BlazenWeights · 04/10/2025 00:14

Rosscameasdoody · 03/10/2025 20:14

OP explained it was casual dress because there was a social after the meeting. And judging by some of the comments here if I were a man I’d be afraid to open my mouth in the company of any woman.

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There’s no circumstance where those awful scrunch leggings are appropriate even in the gym IMO.

DrowningInSyrup · 04/10/2025 00:09

Sexy clothes are worn in the hope that you look sexy, someone thought you were so you had the desired effect. Therefore he spoke the truth.

24karatPalamino · 04/10/2025 00:06

GCautist · 03/10/2025 23:54

Why the fuck are people blaming the woman?
saying she’s bragging, putting her flaps on show deliberately - wtaf society are we in 2025 or 1975?

What she wore may have been inappropriate office attire but any man saying “she knew what she was doing” is a step away from the she was asking for it type language. She could have worn pancakes over her nipples and tooth floss underwear and nobody would have the right to pass such a comment in a work scenario and those who do so privately are dickheads.

I disagree. It’s quite normal to comment on what people are wearing. There are whole websites and TikTok accounts etc dedicated to doing just that. ‘People of Walmart’ springs to mind.

People judge other people all of the time. And we each have a choice when we go out, whether we wish to attract attention, good, bad or not at all.

Often I’ll dress with the intention of attracting attention. Some smart trousers, a silk blouse, a long coat and high heels. People will comment on my ‘power dressing’ for example.

Sometimes I’ll dress to blend in. Grey jumper, black trousers and black flats.

When I dress there is usually an element of intention and people either notice or don’t.

If I started wearing bum scrunch leggings, which are wholly inappropriate for the workplace, and arguably everywhere else, then I know exactly what people will be thinking, and that’s a choice I’d be making.

So whilst I accept the men getting excited by this type of clothing are nasty old pervs, I also think people need to take a bit of accountability for their choices, particularly if they are unhappy with the reactions.

Additionally, if I were to start wearing bum scrunch leggings in my workplace, or pancakes and floss, then I am 100% certain parents would have a lot to say, not to mention my boss and probably the teaching council, so I don’t think ‘You’re the one with the problem, I should be able to wear what I like without judgement’, is going to wash.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 03/10/2025 23:58

Scrunch bum leggings are in no way appropriate to wear to an office.

Justagirl95 · 03/10/2025 23:58

GCautist · 03/10/2025 23:54

Why the fuck are people blaming the woman?
saying she’s bragging, putting her flaps on show deliberately - wtaf society are we in 2025 or 1975?

What she wore may have been inappropriate office attire but any man saying “she knew what she was doing” is a step away from the she was asking for it type language. She could have worn pancakes over her nipples and tooth floss underwear and nobody would have the right to pass such a comment in a work scenario and those who do so privately are dickheads.

I agree with the sentiment, but wearing floss underwear nipple covers would be a conversation with HR in most workplaces!

Justagirl95 · 03/10/2025 23:57

Are you the one who wore a thong bikini to a work swimming pool by any chance?

GCautist · 03/10/2025 23:54

Why the fuck are people blaming the woman?
saying she’s bragging, putting her flaps on show deliberately - wtaf society are we in 2025 or 1975?

What she wore may have been inappropriate office attire but any man saying “she knew what she was doing” is a step away from the she was asking for it type language. She could have worn pancakes over her nipples and tooth floss underwear and nobody would have the right to pass such a comment in a work scenario and those who do so privately are dickheads.