Colleague sent me message by mistake

Good grief! One voice against a common view!

So if a gang of guys are all leering at a lone woman that makes it... better?

From Acas:

"Sexual harassment can be a one-off incident or an ongoing pattern of behaviour.

It can happen in person. It can also happen online, for example in meetings, email, social media or messaging tools.

Examples include:

making sexual remarks about someone's body, clothing or appearance"

I think you would call this ‘internalised misogyny’.

So you wore leggings that literally go into your arse crack and define your (apparently) very nice arse silhouette. And a tight top. So the entire sculpt of your body was on display. In your office. That’s not appropriate even for casual wear.

Your colleague’s comment was to be expected. It’s unfortunate that he sent you the message, but really you put it all on display and he’s allowed to think what he wants about that. So he thought a couple of things. - firstly sexual and secondly wondered why you were wearing that.

I have to agree with him. I wonder what you were thinking wearing that.

So you are the same as the man who made the comment then. You also look at others and make a judgement on what they are wearing and how they look in it?

If you bum is as amazing as you say it is, that comment won't be the only one made I can guarantee some of the women will be commenting along with men.

Personally, and this is up to you, I wouldn't wear tight clothes that are ultimately for workouts, gyms and running for work - or accept that people will look / talk / say things to each other. Progressive or not people like animals do look and judge people. You've noticed the women in your office are all size 16 and judged they don't wear leggings and if they did a man wouldn't make that comment about them.

See how it works, move on and if you don't like it just don't wear the same combination of tight on tight.

Oh OP 🤣🤣🤣you sound absolutely hideous in every way!

It is precisely sexist.

I'm sure that it was a sleazey compliment, but before considering the nutty "report him to HR/IT" type posts, please bear in mind the following:

Google "Scrunch leggings" to see what the world at large thinks of them (look at images and articles). Although some of the discussion focuses on comfort, more is about whether to go commando and, if you are wearing transparent material, whether it is necessary to wear a thong. (Were you wearing underwear?).

Secondly, it IS plausible that his discussion wasn't sleazy, but a genuine concern about dress code and office standards. Regardless of the truth, should you make a complaint, I am sure that this will be the defence, putting you in the wrong.

Thirdly, there is at least one other person in the conversation, so in any complaint, you will be a lone voice against a common view.

Pragmatically speaking, I would let it drop, but yes, there is an argument to be made about a woman's right to wear what she wants without being ogled, and if you are up for that, then go for it, but be aware of what you are walking into.

If you wear the leggings again after this incident then I'd say he was right and wore them for attention. It really isn't appropriate work wear and just because your boss wears it, doesn't make it appropriate. It just means you both don't know how to dress professionally for work.

This.

I just think it was a compliment that you was not suppose to know about. Why should you have to report it to HR.
It didn't say I'd like to give her a good seeing too in those leggings.
I don't think he is a pervert just likeing what his seeing what's wrong with that FGS.The world's gone mad.
If your upset just ignore it.

This thread is hilarious. I didn't know those leggings were called scrunch bum leggings but it makes sense. They just need to go straight in the bin. They look awful on everyone equally. I see some around and yes, they do make me look at your arse, but not because I think your arse looks good. I'm there thinking "wtf your butthole must be cold". 😆

It's not ok to send sexual comments about a colleague though. That's just adulting basics.

Are you the same poster who wore a thong bikini to a work away spa day and couldn't understand why her dp complained? This was a few months ago back in the summer.

Scrunch bum leggings and a waist length tight fit t shirt is unprofessional work wear. Why do think this is appropriate to wear for work & do you really think your colleagues take you seriously dressed like that?

The message that scrunch leggings send is ‘look at my arse’. They are specifically designed to define your arse crack. People do take the piss at work if you wear something inappropriate.

Exactly. Displaying her arse crack to the office & all and sundry is wat more sexual than this comment & guaranteed she made a lot of people feel very uncomfortable with said crevice. Maybe that should count as harassment. I think she got exactly the response she was hoping for. Aka " She knew what she was doing wearing those leggings"

Yeah this is how we would talk if a man in the office showed up to a meeting wearing lycra cycling shorts or something...just defusing the awkwardness of the unmissable inappropriate wardrobe choice...I'm imagining everyone in the meeting feeling so awkward about it

Well, sure — but they shouldn’t wear that at work. Same goes for OP wearing leggings like that. Whether you’re a size 6 or a size 16, it’s just not workplace-appropriate unless you work in a yoga studio. It doesn’t matter if people see a smooth figure or cellulite — people will notice and talk about it.

What I don’t get is why so many people think it’s fine to have their butt crack or cleavage hanging out, then act shocked that others notice. Wear proper clothing or enjoy the attention: but don’t complain when people react.

We live in this modern “be yourself” culture where everyone is encouraged to flaunt whatever they want, yet at the same time, people are quick to get offended if anyone so much as acknowledges it. That contradiction is exhausting. Noticing someone’s body doesn’t make you a predator; it just makes you a human.

I don’t think you should say anything to him as the message has gone, he’ll either deny it or treat your comment as an invite to flirt, but I would be wary of him as a colleague and mentally log the fact that he has no respect for you as a colleague.

Oh, is the OP your colleague?

Leggings are specifically mentioned in our dress code as not suitable office attire.

Was it the leggings that emphasise the bum cheeks

This is fascinating, is this normal attire for PR? I work for a very casual company I would say but never seen anyone in anything even close to scrunch leggings in the office. Agree with pps who say very stupid of man in question to put such thoughts on company Teams/network as it's 100% discoverable/traceable.

Sadly, it's not! I worked in it for years, and it's about 90 percent women and the rest are milquetoast men. Not a job for redblooded men, sadly!

I don't think so - there was a sweat emoji! He thought she looked hot in her scrunchy bum gear!

Whoops.
There is no size limit for leggings.