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AIBU?

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Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
CrystalShoe · 04/10/2025 19:52

People should look up Amy Schumer's Milk Milk Lemonade on Youtube 😂

1

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 04/10/2025 19:48

At the school where I worked a female MDA regularly wore these leggings. She walked with a very definite wiggle. One day a group of year 1 children asked her if her knickers had got stuck up her bum. She changed to jogging bottoms afterwards.

SarzWix · 04/10/2025 19:35

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

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😧 Really?! You're really going there?! How is your body shaming any better than the man's gross comments?

Your outfit was NSFW imho, but the comments on it should be coming from HR, not skeevy colleagues.

LBFseBrom · 04/10/2025 19:35

WiseAuntie · 04/10/2025 19:19

Why were you wearing leggings to work? Leggings are not suitable work wear unless you’re working in a gym!

I agree.

Rebeldiamond1 · 04/10/2025 19:27

RoseAlone · 04/10/2025 19:26

Forget it it's no big deal. I've no idea why you'd even consider raising it with him or anyone else 😄

Completely agree

Rebeldiamond1 · 04/10/2025 19:27

HelloGreen · 03/10/2025 17:18

I’d report it and ask that IT look at their message logs.

Wow thats a bit ott

RoseAlone · 04/10/2025 19:26

Forget it it's no big deal. I've no idea why you'd even consider raising it with him or anyone else 😄

therealduchess · 04/10/2025 19:24

JustPickleRick · 03/10/2025 17:18

I haven't read that as a bitchy comment, i've read it as she looked good in them 😅 am I wrong?

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Yep, I think the same!

WiseAuntie · 04/10/2025 19:19

Why were you wearing leggings to work? Leggings are not suitable work wear unless you’re working in a gym!

Bertielong3 · 04/10/2025 19:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Blablibladirladada · 04/10/2025 19:00

Bobnobob · 04/10/2025 09:26

Wow, pages of women telling the OP she didn’t look good in the leggings and leggings are trashy and not suitable workwear. Then tripping over themselves to explain that it’s not jealousy and they too are attractive but too classy to wear leggings. Classic MN.

OP you are young and fit and looked good in your outfit. Your male colleagues appreciated it and messages each other to say so. It’s a non issue really.

That makes no sense and you clearly use the word jealousy instead of judging. Both aren’t great but op asked for a perceived opinion/a judgement so shouldn’t be surprised to receive some…

Magsbd · 04/10/2025 18:59

Sounds like a compliment to me.

Blablibladirladada · 04/10/2025 18:58

Take it as a compliment or revise what you wear…really depends on how the leggings were 😂

I had a colleague once wearing a perfectly good shirt/blouse…only to continually put herself forward so all the men can have a nice view of her very bright bras 😏
it was hot hot at smoking breaks 🔥🔥🔥

motherofdragons11 · 04/10/2025 18:54

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:27

Sounds like you are humble-bragging OP.

Humble bragging? None of us know the OP so that would be a hollow victory, wouldn't it?

nosleepforme · 04/10/2025 18:52

I read it as he fancied you a bit. Ignore and move on.

HourlyTime · 04/10/2025 18:52

Laughing at the poster mentioning "front bits" 🤣 😂

shepherd00 · 04/10/2025 18:49

Someone is very insecure and looking for attention ( no matter what attention)

Filmouse · 04/10/2025 18:47

Ignore it but don't trust

Cucy · 04/10/2025 18:43

It was a work meeting followed by a social and you chose to wear gym clothes - that is completely inappropriate.

The colleague should not have made a sexual remark but I understand why they felt the need to comment.

I assume none of the men turned up to a work meeting in a Lycra bodysuit ready for the gym later on.

3awesomestars · 04/10/2025 18:42

What you should do about it depends on your own values and how it makes you feel. In my view yes it’s sleazy, but also the ‘knew what she was doing’ element is misogynistic. Whatever his personal response was to you wearing the leggings (whether it was disgust or lust) he is blaming you for that and implying that by wearing them you knew it would make him feel that way.
Typical abuser, victim blaming type response. No way is it a compliment.
I would call him out and make him squirm but I would do it with my manager.

Poodlelove · 04/10/2025 18:34

Is he a friend or just a colleague , is he married and are you ? How old is he ?
I know it shouldn't matter and that it is not professional.I think I would be secretly pleased.
I think it is a compliment.I have probably said a similar thing before as I saw a colleague in a tiny pair of shorts and I know I shouldn't have but I didn't want other people to miss out.
He didn't wear his shorts again 😞 and I have learnt that it is inappropriate.

Petrolitis · 04/10/2025 18:34

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 03/10/2025 17:22

Has no-one on here ever looked at a bloke and said to a friend “OMG he’s hot/lush/<insert term of choice>”? Not ever?

Honestly the way in which people get worked up about these things,

The fact that we now have messaging etc means that what you say can potentially be seen by the person you’ve said it about, but anyone who says they’ve never made a comment about someone they’ve found attractive is lying.

They were out.

This is work and two make colleagues discussing a female colleagues fuckability is unprofessional and deeply sexist.

Women are not things for men to perv at and wank over.

We are real human people just like them.

QuayshhLawrain · 04/10/2025 18:33

I've only read your posts OP, so apologies if this has already been said.

When you posted, were you feeling outraged at the text you'd received, or flattered by it (it's hard to decipher, based on your posts)?

Regardless of what you were wearing (and for the record, I don't agree that "scrunch bum leggings" are ever appropriate, let alone in a work environment), your colleague's text was inappropriate, and I would certainly want to make sure it wasn't part of a wider problem with the males in the team. I would probably raise it with my boss, and ask that they remind employees about what is and isn't appropriate to say about your colleagues, particularly when you put these comments in writing - which can sometimes end up being sent to someone other than the intended recipient. That should put an end to things, even if it just means the misogynists are more careful when sending texts.

Hello12345678910 · 04/10/2025 18:25

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

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Having been a size 20 - i looked absolutely fabulous in leggings....

Wildefish · 04/10/2025 18:22

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

I wouldn’t say anything, but maybe the leggings could stay at home!