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Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
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8
GAJLY · 03/10/2025 17:51

JustPickleRick · 03/10/2025 17:18

I haven't read that as a bitchy comment, i've read it as she looked good in them 😅 am I wrong?

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I thought the same thing as you.

whimsicallyprickly · 03/10/2025 17:51

DoYouReally · 03/10/2025 17:43

His comment was wrong but I cannot think of any working environment, other than a gym, where legging are acceptable smart casual wear.

Regardless.....to make that comment is beyond disgusting

JustMyView13 · 03/10/2025 17:51

I’d reply to the ‘this message was deleted’ and put - unfortunately I saw this before you were able to delete it.

And I’d leave them to stew on that.

Namechangerage · 03/10/2025 17:50

Naws · 03/10/2025 17:32

This is what's confusing me.

It does sound like that, but leggings??

No-one looks hot or not in leggings - they're just a wardrobe staple and worn correctly, all anyone else can see is material covered legs 🤷‍♂️

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It’s not leggings like people wore them in 00s. There is a trend of people wearing them without anything covering the bum bit. I’m assuming that’s what OP did…

OriginalUsername2 · 03/10/2025 17:50

Err.. this isn’t a compliment. He means you were purposely showing the outlines of your bits for the guys at work.

Namechangerage · 03/10/2025 17:49

I can’t imagine wearing leggings with my arse on show, even on a casual day!

But yeah he is also gross. Depends how nuclear you want to go really.

Cinaferna · 03/10/2025 17:48

SunnySideDeepDown · 03/10/2025 17:17

I’ve genuinely no idea what he would have meant by that, is it a (sexist) compliment?

Yes it is. It means he found her really sexy and it's her fault. Kinell. Men!

CausalInference · 03/10/2025 17:48

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:34

Apparently not in the soulless, humourless land of the chronically po-faced.

i wonder how these women's husbands ever made a move without being reported for doing so.

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I always wonder the same!!

Basically someone at work thinks you are hot, so what, no need to report him, and other nonsense people are suggesting. If you are single and fancy him, ask him out!

I've had a few fans at work (back in my younger days) I've been with my husband since uni so was never available, I just took it as a compliment. A manager once asked me out for a lad he was managing, my God imagine doing that now! It was a shame as he was quite hot and I did quietly admire the look of him too 😆.

ginasevern · 03/10/2025 17:48

It's the "she knows what she's doing" bit that pretty much sums up misogyny. It was a common phrase amongst drooling middle aged, pot bellied blokes back in the 70's when I was a teenager in my first job. They'd say "you know just what you're doing", so putting the onous on me for existing (and presumably being nothing more than a slag) rather than them being gross and married fucking perverts.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:47

Sue the bugger OP. Constructive dismissal, PTSD, emotional distress, the lot.

LivingTheDreamish · 03/10/2025 17:47

I would have been confused by the message too, but based on comments here agree it was "complimentary". I think you just pretend it didn't happen, unless things escalate of course. I'm sure he is mortified (quite rightly!).

Thingyfanding1 · 03/10/2025 17:45

Def meant you looked good!

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:45

Naws · 03/10/2025 17:37

All leggings are tight because they're leggings.

I can't imagine anyone would allow their arse to show in them in a professional setting though?

Let alone wear a cropped top.

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Maybe the OP can clarify whether her top was short enough to show her arse and front ladybits? Otherwise I don’t see why the colleagues comment would make any sense as leggings and a long top are not sexy or revealing in any way

Everybodysinthehousetonight · 03/10/2025 17:44

I'd ignore it and carry on like I'd never read it. Honestly the world has gone mad thinking to bother reporting that.

TorroFerney · 03/10/2025 17:44

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:41

I'm not joking.

The colleague realised his mistake and deleted it. Clearly wasn't trying to make op feel uncomfortable. Merely having a little chat to his mate about finding op hot.

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Very good, you are trying to wind us up.

DoYouReally · 03/10/2025 17:43

His comment was wrong but I cannot think of any working environment, other than a gym, where legging are acceptable smart casual wear.

TorroFerney · 03/10/2025 17:43

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:18

It's a compliment about her looking hot in the leggings.

it's a turn of phrase. Not sexist what so ever

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Are you being serous? You aren't are you?

JustSawJohnny · 03/10/2025 17:43

It's not a compliment because it's accusatory.

The implication is that the leggings were worn with purpose, to gain the attention of the men present.

It would piss me off, as 'typical boys chat' very often does as it's peppered with disrespect.

whimsicallyprickly · 03/10/2025 17:42

"She knew what she was doing"

Disgusting man. Vile 🤢

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:41

thestudio · 03/10/2025 17:39

ARE YOU KIDDING?

The colleague was commenting on the sexual attractiveness of a female co-worker.

'She knew what she was doing' also intrinsically suggests that her clothing is a deliberate come on. That's the meme or whatever.

He could and should be disciplined over this. It creates a hostile environment for women in the workplace and the OP could take the employer to a tribunal if they didn't act.

Jesus the bar is getting lower and lower on here. It's like every generation just decides to start again with feminism.

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I'm not joking.

The colleague realised his mistake and deleted it. Clearly wasn't trying to make op feel uncomfortable. Merely having a little chat to his mate about finding op hot.

PinkFrogss · 03/10/2025 17:40

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:32

Absolutely ridiculous over reaction!

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Why?

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:40

thestudio · 03/10/2025 17:39

ARE YOU KIDDING?

The colleague was commenting on the sexual attractiveness of a female co-worker.

'She knew what she was doing' also intrinsically suggests that her clothing is a deliberate come on. That's the meme or whatever.

He could and should be disciplined over this. It creates a hostile environment for women in the workplace and the OP could take the employer to a tribunal if they didn't act.

Jesus the bar is getting lower and lower on here. It's like every generation just decides to start again with feminism.

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Jesus, total over reaction.

Octoberaddsagale · 03/10/2025 17:39

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:31

What on earth does that mean?!

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As PP have said, it's from Legally Blonde.

If you can bear the adverts and MN allows it, a demonstration.

sweetpickle2 · 03/10/2025 17:39

People saying "take it as a compliment" need to raise their standards. You should be allowed to wear leggings (or anything!) to work without being objectified.

Yes people comment on other people's appearances, but to do so on a work messaging system is unprofessional at best and creepy at worst. Save it for your private conversations when you're not on work time.

thestudio · 03/10/2025 17:39

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:18

It's a compliment about her looking hot in the leggings.

it's a turn of phrase. Not sexist what so ever

Show quote history

ARE YOU KIDDING?

The colleague was commenting on the sexual attractiveness of a female co-worker.

'She knew what she was doing' also intrinsically suggests that her clothing is a deliberate come on. That's the meme or whatever.

He could and should be disciplined over this. It creates a hostile environment for women in the workplace and the OP could take the employer to a tribunal if they didn't act.

Jesus the bar is getting lower and lower on here. It's like every generation just decides to start again with feminism.

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