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Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
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8
Lovingbooks · 03/10/2025 17:59

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:31

What on earth does that mean?!

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Legally blonde Google bend and snap you tube.. technique to get mens attention, tight leggings optional. Seriously I would take it as a compliment.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 03/10/2025 17:58

His finds you attractive and would like to think the leggings were a deliberate ploy by you to show you're not averse to a bit of attention (from him). In ye olden days, he could get away with inappropriate daydreaming and it would go no further than a furtive whisper to a male colleague at the next desk. Nowadays there are all sorts of digital ways to spill secrets inadvertently. Or perhaps his subconscious would like you to know.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:58

Good one OP. You knew what you were doing and he’s just pointed that out.

Original poster
Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:58

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:55

Well it’s not so surprising to get the reaction you did then.

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What do you mean?

OP posts:
Sidebeforeself · 03/10/2025 17:57

123ZYX · 03/10/2025 17:24

Of course it’s sexist - it’s objectifying her. He wouldn’t have said the same about a man.

And I agree with reporting it and expecting chat logs to be reviewed. It’s not acceptable and employers are required to take reasonable steps to prevent sexual harassment.

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Do you use a sledgehammer to crack all your nuts?? How about an adult conversation with him first?

Mysticaldeer · 03/10/2025 17:57

scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt

😂

Scottishskifun · 03/10/2025 17:57

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:54

They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

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Scrunch leggings deliberately round your derriere so yep probably a fair message and definitely not what a lot of people wear to work!

Naws · 03/10/2025 17:56

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:54

They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

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Oh, where do you work that this is appropriate? 😬

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 03/10/2025 17:56

I’d let it go

PurpleandWhite · 03/10/2025 17:56

Namechangerage · 03/10/2025 17:49

I can’t imagine wearing leggings with my arse on show, even on a casual day!

But yeah he is also gross. Depends how nuclear you want to go really.

The ‘also’ 😂😂

Probably not intentional…?

YowieeF · 03/10/2025 17:55

I wouldn’t accept it and I would raise it.

You deserve to be treated with respect.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:55

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:54

They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

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Well it’s not so surprising to get the reaction you did then.

VikaOlson · 03/10/2025 17:55

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:54

They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

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Scrunch leggings are the up the arse ones, aren't they?

I probably wouldn't have worn them to work!

PurpleandWhite · 03/10/2025 17:54

Am I missing something? It could have been about someone outside of work, showing off a tinder profile, mutual friend, stranger outside of work?

I mean, the only way to find out for sure would be to report which is up to you OP

VikaOlson · 03/10/2025 17:54

Normal leggings or the ones that go right up your arse?

Either way I'd just pretend I'd not seen the message.

Original poster
Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:54

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:45

Maybe the OP can clarify whether her top was short enough to show her arse and front ladybits? Otherwise I don’t see why the colleagues comment would make any sense as leggings and a long top are not sexy or revealing in any way

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They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

OP posts:
PaellaPan · 03/10/2025 17:53

123ZYX · 03/10/2025 17:24

Of course it’s sexist - it’s objectifying her. He wouldn’t have said the same about a man.

And I agree with reporting it and expecting chat logs to be reviewed. It’s not acceptable and employers are required to take reasonable steps to prevent sexual harassment.

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Probably not, unless he is gay. Same as a straight woman would be unlikely to say anything to a woman, although plenty of women seem to enjoy genuinely bitching about other womens' appearance.

Personally, I would be inclined to go with the 'don't worry, I won't be wearing leggings in the office again' reply. That way, he knows it was seen, gives him the opportunity to reflect and apologise. Not everything has to be escalated straight to HR.

OhNoNotSusan · 03/10/2025 17:53

however i still think it is bitchy to comment

LizzieBananas · 03/10/2025 17:53

The sweat emoji 💦 can refer to other bodily fluids. Report it now.

OhNoNotSusan · 03/10/2025 17:53

sorry i assumed he was saying the op was sweaty, not him,
so it is even worse

Twinmum345 · 03/10/2025 17:53

Pumpkinpoodles · 03/10/2025 17:52

So the guy is obviously sleazy so if you mention it to your boss and put in a grievance, chances are he’ll get sacked cause I bet there’s a load more inappropriate content about women in his chat logs. So think carefully…do you want him to lose his job?

If not, I’d drop in casually that you were disappointed to see that flag up and if you get wind of those sorts of comments again you’ll be raising it with your manager.

I always find it a huge disappointment to find out men make these remarks at work. They go down in my estimation.

God way to make a mountain out of a molehill please don’t do this op

WalkingtheWire · 03/10/2025 17:53

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 03/10/2025 17:23

And you of course have never said anything about anyone ever? Riiight.

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I've absolutely never said anything remotely sexual about a work colleague. Comments like that are just not acceptable in the work place.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:52

Off topic maybe, but I’m old enough to remember one place where the male staff used to hold up signs with scores out of ten for new female colleagues as they walked out of the room after the introductions. I dread to think what my scores were.

Twinmum345 · 03/10/2025 17:52

JustPickleRick · 03/10/2025 17:18

I haven't read that as a bitchy comment, i've read it as she looked good in them 😅 am I wrong?

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I agree. It isn’t bitchy at all it’s saying she looked good

Pumpkinpoodles · 03/10/2025 17:52

So the guy is obviously sleazy so if you mention it to your boss and put in a grievance, chances are he’ll get sacked cause I bet there’s a load more inappropriate content about women in his chat logs. So think carefully…do you want him to lose his job?

If not, I’d drop in casually that you were disappointed to see that flag up and if you get wind of those sorts of comments again you’ll be raising it with your manager.

I always find it a huge disappointment to find out men make these remarks at work. They go down in my estimation.

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