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AIBU?

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Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
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AltitudeCheck · 03/10/2025 18:09

Sports wear wouldn't be appropriate even on a 'casual' day in many workplaces. If a fit looking guy turned up in cycling shorts that emphasised his contours it would probably raise an eyebrow and perhaps a comment between work friends too! He was daft to put his thoughts in writing and on Teams though. I would make him squirm but I wouldn't put him through the wringer unless he had form for being a sexist pig.

Naws · 03/10/2025 18:09

chailatte8 · 03/10/2025 18:04

I would message back saying “I seen that”

Saying "I seen that" would be almost as embarrassing as wearing scrunch leggings and a tee shirt in a professional setting.

Miyagi99 · 03/10/2025 18:09

Scrunch leggings only exist to accentuate your arse so that was probably what he was referring to. It’s sleazy to refer to anyone’s body but doesn’t surprise me from a man, I wouldn’t report, I might say something to his face. And I would wear more appropriate clothing in the future because men are gross.

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 18:06

LottieMary · 03/10/2025 18:04

Wow this thread is disappointing. So far I’ve gathered that it’s her fault, he’s somehow sad and thwarted because lonely in love so entitled to say whatever he likes, and it’s just bantz

I honestly fuxkng despair

That's the glass half empty approach, maybe.

real life, it was a throw away compliment sent to the wrong person and was attempted to be deleted pdq before it could upset anyone.

LottieMary · 03/10/2025 18:04

Wow this thread is disappointing. So far I’ve gathered that it’s her fault, he’s somehow sad and thwarted because lonely in love so entitled to say whatever he likes, and it’s just bantz

I honestly fuxkng despair

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 18:04

Owly11 · 03/10/2025 18:03

I would report it. That’s absolutely gross and he needs to be disciplined.

Scrunch leggings are gross and need to be banned 😉

chailatte8 · 03/10/2025 18:04

I would message back saying “I seen that”

Owly11 · 03/10/2025 18:03

I would report it. That’s absolutely gross and he needs to be disciplined.

VikaOlson · 03/10/2025 18:03

"Looking for sculpting leggings that'll enhance your curves and turn heads? If so, Fabletics' scrunch bum leggings are your ultimate wardrobe essential! These butt-lifting leggings are designed to sculpt, lift, and contour your figure, giving you that coveted bubble bum effect."

I mean, you'd be a bit disappointed if no one noticed!

Livpool · 03/10/2025 18:02

YowieeF · 03/10/2025 17:55

I wouldn’t accept it and I would raise it.

You deserve to be treated with respect.

She needs to avoid wearing ‘scrunch’ leggings that show off her arse in work then! If this is even true…

wordler · 03/10/2025 18:02

If this is the first time you've had anything like this from this colleague then I would send him a quick message saying you'd seen the message and it wasn't appropriate to be commenting like that. Then leave it for now.

If this is a pattern of behaviour like this from him, or the workplace culture in general, then take it to HR.

Tallawah · 03/10/2025 18:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:01

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:59

You were showing your arse and possibly front bits too so what do you expect people to think?

I can assure you I was suitably covered thanks and nothing was on show 😂

I best make my other female colleagues aware that if they dare wear leggings or don’t have something baggy covering their mid region then they should expect to be treated like a piece of meat!

OP posts:
OhNoNotSusan · 03/10/2025 18:01

were you on your way to the gym?

Figcherry · 03/10/2025 18:00

YowieeF · 03/10/2025 17:55

I wouldn’t accept it and I would raise it.

You deserve to be treated with respect.

A bit of self respect wouldn’t go amiss.
I really think leggings should be banned in the workplace.
I had a colleague who would wear them regularly with short tops, they were often thin from use and I really didn’t want to see her bum area through the equivalent of thick net curtains.
Seriously unless you’re in the gym or pregnant just ditch them.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 18:00

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 18:00

I believe op has now jumped the shark

Agreed.

Naws · 03/10/2025 18:00

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:58

What do you mean?

Well they're designed to go straight up your arse crack, separate it and stay there.

What did you think the PP meant?

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 18:00

Mysticaldeer · 03/10/2025 17:57

scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt

😂

I believe op has now jumped the shark

MyElatedUmberFinch · 03/10/2025 18:00

Naws · 03/10/2025 17:56

Oh, where do you work that this is appropriate? 😬

Maybe in a gym?

autienotnaughty · 03/10/2025 17:59

Well congratulations on being hot @Islandhopper10!!🔥 . I’d either subtly let him know you know via message or even better in person preferably in front of a crowd. Or let it go, it’s crass but not the end of the world. You weren’t meant to read it, it would be different if he had sent the message to you.

CharlieKirkRIP · 03/10/2025 17:59

I’m missing the point but wearing leggings to a work meeting is very unprofessional.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 17:59

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:58

What do you mean?

You were showing your arse and possibly front bits too so what do you expect people to think?

MyElatedUmberFinch · 03/10/2025 17:59

He’s obviously made a mistake sending the message to you.

Are the leggings suitable work wear?

Mysticaldeer · 03/10/2025 17:59

123ZYX · 03/10/2025 17:24

Of course it’s sexist - it’s objectifying her. He wouldn’t have said the same about a man.

And I agree with reporting it and expecting chat logs to be reviewed. It’s not acceptable and employers are required to take reasonable steps to prevent sexual harassment.

Show me the man that would go to work dressed like that!

Bigearringsbigsmile · 03/10/2025 17:59

Where on earth do you work that scrunch fit leggings and a tight t shirt are appropriate??????

😲😲😲😲

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