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AIBU?

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Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
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Naws · 03/10/2025 18:32

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:28

I mean my DP doesn’t complain when I wear them, so each to their own!

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Why would he complain though? It's up to you what you wear and whether it looks awful or not isn't his business.

Winter42 · 03/10/2025 18:32

Scrunch bum leggings are literally designed to show off your arse so his comment was correct - you knew this when you bought them and chose to wear them. You can't really feign offense at someone noticing your bum in trousers designed to show off your bum.

It was still a pervy unnecessary comment for your colleague to make though.

My take home is.... You shouldn't really be wearing them in the office, but also your colleagues should not be making any sort if sexual comments towards you in the office either.

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 03/10/2025 18:32

I'm afraid I don't think ordinary leggings are appropriate casual workwear unless they're paired with a long top or dress. Multiple women at my work disagree, and honestly, it's embarrassing walking up the stairs behind them.

Scrunch bum leggings at work are something else. I am horrified that anyone could be so lacking in judgement as to wear them to work.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 18:32

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:28

I mean my DP doesn’t complain when I wear them, so each to their own!

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You are obviously too gorgeous for words OP 🤷‍♀️

Miyagi99 · 03/10/2025 18:29

Redlocks30 · 03/10/2025 18:23

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me.

So nobody else you work with thought it was appropriate to wear 'scrunch bum' leggings and a tight t-shirt in to the office? Interesting.

😂

Anononony · 03/10/2025 18:29

I'm inclined to agree with him, you did know exactly what you were doing, you don't wear scrunch bum leggings unless you want to accentuate your rear, especially not with a regular length t shirt, and tbh I'm amazed it wasn't pulled up on as inappropriate work wear

PaellaPan · 03/10/2025 18:29

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

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Now you sound like a bitch.

You wore clothes that accentuated your figure next to all your colleagues who you think are fatties compared to you, and are now acting faux surprised that it got the attention you clearly wanted. I think your male colleagues have got you bang to rights. You knew what you were doing.

Lollipop81 · 03/10/2025 18:29

JustPickleRick · 03/10/2025 17:18

I haven't read that as a bitchy comment, i've read it as she looked good in them 😅 am I wrong?

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I thought the same that she looked good in them.’

Jk987 · 03/10/2025 18:28

Was the colleague male or female?

Original poster
Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:28

Naws · 03/10/2025 18:27

But they look good on absolutely no-one of any size, so what difference does it make?

Even the message from your colleague doesn't particularly read as a compliment.

"She knew what she was doing", may well mean attention seeking.

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I mean my DP doesn’t complain when I wear them, so each to their own!

OP posts:
Miyagi99 · 03/10/2025 18:28

Redlocks30 · 03/10/2025 18:25

There are some clothes which feel inappropriate as as you can see a clear outline of bum crack and vagina.

Oh dear, we will now have a complete thread derail about vaginas and vulvas...

Can’t even see the vulva, crack is accentuated though.

123ZYX · 03/10/2025 18:28

Sidebeforeself · 03/10/2025 17:57

Do you use a sledgehammer to crack all your nuts?? How about an adult conversation with him first?

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It won’t have been the first time he’s made comments like that. I don’t believe the first time he’s done it is the time he made a mistake and was caught. There’s at least one other person in the team who he feels comfortable sharing that kind of comment with and knows it will be accepted.

presumably OP isn’t new to the team, so she is in a position to get this stopped before, for example, an 18 year old joins the team and finds out similar comments are made about her, but she doesn’t feel confident to report, so she just leaves instead. If you’re in a position to fight sexism, I believe it is your responsibility to do so to help those who come after you.

Scorchio84 · 03/10/2025 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yeah @Islandhopper10 there was no need for that at all

TeenLifeMum · 03/10/2025 18:28

This can’t be real. Surely no one would actually wear scrunch leggings to a workplace? Totally inappropriate. If it’s true then yes, you knew what you were doing. I’d assume looking for attention.

CoheedandCambria · 03/10/2025 18:27

Are you the same poster who wore a thong bikini on their work's away day?

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/10/2025 18:27

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:54

They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

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Absolutely inappropriate for work, dress down day or not.

Naws · 03/10/2025 18:27

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

Show quote history

But they look good on absolutely no-one of any size, so what difference does it make?

Even the message from your colleague doesn't particularly read as a compliment.

"She knew what she was doing", may well mean attention seeking.

Miyagi99 · 03/10/2025 18:27

CameForAVacationStayedForTheRevolution · 03/10/2025 18:23

😂😂😂

I sometimes wear leggings to work but even I’d draw the line at scrunch bum leggings. Sure, people shouldn’t make comments but yeah……I’d kind of be reflecting how appropriate they were for work….maybe the after work social was a 5k run???

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Have you ever run 5k in scrunch leggings? I haven’t but I can imagine the chafing 😂

G5000 · 03/10/2025 18:26

See, I would say no way can someone think scrunch leggings that are designed to show off your butt crack would be an appropriate office attire. But then again, I had a colleague wearing tiny running shorts to office, so there are all sorts. He did get some comments too though, from HR.

fussygalore77 · 03/10/2025 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Redlocks30 · 03/10/2025 18:25

There are some clothes which feel inappropriate as as you can see a clear outline of bum crack and vagina.

Oh dear, we will now have a complete thread derail about vaginas and vulvas...

TwistyTurnip · 03/10/2025 18:25

Canonlythinkofthisone · 03/10/2025 17:18

Thats how I read it. Admiring the OP, albeit inappropriate for Teams in the workplace!

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Exactly. Storm in a teacup and bit of an overreaction on the OP’s part.

fussygalore77 · 03/10/2025 18:25

Woompund · 03/10/2025 18:20

It's not bitchy it's pervy

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It's Def a pervy comments but honestly those leggings with a fitted top are not for work. Unless you work in a gym!

The scrunch effect is absolutely designed to draw attention to your arse, and pretending otherwise is ridiculous

Miyagi99 · 03/10/2025 18:25

florenceandthemac · 03/10/2025 18:18

It is at my gym tbf

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Oh no! Mine isn’t thank god! There are one or two now and then but everyone else is wearing normal gym wear looking sweaty and fucked 😂

Original poster
Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

Redlocks30 · 03/10/2025 18:23

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me.

So nobody else you work with thought it was appropriate to wear 'scrunch bum' leggings and a tight t-shirt in to the office? Interesting.

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

OP posts: