Colleague sent me message by mistake

"Unfortunately for you, you didn’t delete that message quickly enough. If I ever hear you speak about me or anyone else that way again, I will elevate it straight to HR." But she didn't hear him talking about her. Maybe he was talking about someone on instagram. The OP saw a brief message that disappeared and because she was wearing scrunch leggings she's assumed it's about her.

It’s a compliment but don’t let him know you’ve read it unless you’re both free to pursue a friendship etc if that’s what you want. He might be really embarrassed too.

Why do you think size 16 women don't wear leggings?!?!

I challenge anyone to google scrunch bum leggings and come back here and say they are suitable for the workplace, even on casual day. They are bad enough in a gym tbh: it’s literally “look at my arse-crack”!

A whole fucking pod of them in fact

I read that message as bitchy rather than a compliment or pervy. Assumed the sweat was the water drops and meant thirsty. So was saying you knew what you were doing wearing scrunch leggings to work… you were thirsty for attention. I would prob think wtf if I saw you but equally I’d die if I’d actually sent you that message by mistake.

And….so you don’t like the fact that a comment was made allegedly about you, but heaven forbid a size 16 lady should wear leggings

Well OP didn't mention that, but if we're taking hypothetical they could hypothetically be dressing very inappropriately for work.

I believe that we should be able to wear what we want without people making lewd comments. You can't control what you think but you have control over what you do with those thoughts. They should have kept them to themselves.

If his chat logs are bad enough to get him sacked that would be his fault not the OPs, it shouldn’t put her off reporting.

I’ve just had to google scrunch bum leggings 😂

Not strictly office attire, even on casual days in my honest opinion.

I’m all for wearing what you are most comfortable in, but I do believe in toning it down a bit when at work unless you work in a gym and then scrunch bum leggings are appropriate.

Just let it go. I can imagine women would message each other if a male colleague turned up in tight fitting gym wear. He’s got a nice bum etc etc. it was a mistake it got sent to you instead, or was it..,,,,

definitely inappropriate office wear, but he could be in trouble if reported. Do they not still have some standard on clothes even on casual clothes day?

Maybe you could wear something more demure like this at your next quarterly meeting, op. Your colleague will get the message, I’m sure.

Ah I had it in my mind you were wearing leggings and a long top or dress over them 90s style

When women pair leggings with hooded sweatshirts, it produces an upside-down triangle silhouette that reminds me of Johnny Bravo.

I can assure you that if you wore scrunch leggings and a short, tight top, EVERYTHING was on show. Those leggings are designed to showcase your arse, OP. Really not suitable work wear at all.

What job do you do @Islandhopper10 ? If it not a PT in a gym, and you were at the gym, then scrunch leggings and a short, tight shirt was really inappropriate and if you genuinely didn’t give it any thought you really really should.

Leave it now, embarrassing enough all round.

It's poor behaviour.

But he will forever now have to live with the fact that you potentially know he is a sleeze. Hopefully that embarrassment will put him off doing that again.

If it would me probably the most I would do is just respond to the deleted message and say "received this" to confuse him and scare the crap out of him.

Yep. Did you honeymoon in Maui @Islandhopper10 ?

🤣🤣🤣

I’m astounded at how many people are going down the “well she was asking for it, wearing that” route! 😳 😡 It doesn’t matter what she chose to wear (I doubt it was unsuitable as I imagine OP knows what she can and can’t wear in her own workplace or she would presumably have been called in by her manager or HR) he shouldn’t be making mysogynistic comments, full stop!!!

As others have said OP, I’d message back:

“Unfortunately for you, you didn’t delete that message quickly enough. If I ever hear you speak about me or anyone else that way again, I will elevate it straight to HR.

there's leggings and there's leggings.Scrunch leggings? Are they the ones that go up your arse crack? If so YABU to wear those to a work event.

1. What are SB leggings, please?
2. This is one of these deliberately provocative threads I think, no?

I’ve just looked up SB leggings. Crumbs. Do people seriously wear those to dress down work days? (Apparently.)

I suspect the leggings are a distraction from the hairy hands.

Totally agree, so glad I started my working life in the 1980’s when we could all have a banter and no one had hurt feelings. I’m not excusing sexual harassment before I get piled on, but this wasn’t that in my opinion. Another one to question wearing leggings into an office, too.