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Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
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ChangingWeight · 05/10/2025 17:01

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:58

What do you mean?

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Isn’t this common sense?

I’m in my 20s, slim, go gym etc. It’s cringe to say but undeniably I have a nice figure. I don’t dress to emphasise my figure at work though. You’re specifically wearing scrunch bum leggings to accentuate your ass, alongside a tight t shirt to what, accentuate your boobs/waist?

For me, I don’t see the point in doing that. I don’t want the losers I work with to think I’m attractive like that. I totally dress differently at work, than outside of work.

crappycrapcrap · 05/10/2025 16:41

Scrunch leggings are grim, I cannot begin to imagine a time where that’s ok for work….if you’re a gym instructor I guess.
I think it’s fortunate he put the sweat emoji as then at least it’s a compliment. But yeah, you do know what you’re doing with the arse crack enhancers at work.

Uptheworkers · 05/10/2025 16:34

I tried to post a photo of men’s leggings to ask if anybody would think it’s appropriate for a man to wear them at work or in public.

Ironically it was deleted because it’s inappropriate, which pretty much proves my point.

Thats how these ‘scrunch’ leggings look to the rest of us. We don’t want to be seeing what you had for dinner last night, certainly not at work.

Inversion545 · 05/10/2025 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BluesBird19764 · 05/10/2025 16:19

definitely this.

saraclara · 05/10/2025 13:30

SquirrelMadness · 05/10/2025 10:47

Wearing clothes that accentuate your arse crack and then complaining about people noticing is making a mockery of feminism, imo. It makes us look silly. Men don't walk around the office in tight trousers that accentuate the outline of their penis and if they did I'm pretty sure people would comment on it.

Exactly.

And just to clarify for the benefit of some posters:

Wearing clothing that accentuates secondary sexual characteristics does not excuse men sexually assaulting women.

However, it does excuse them commenting on the wearer's attractiveness. Because after all, women wear them because they want to appear attractive to men.

DreamCircle · 05/10/2025 11:28

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

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Why even make this point, though? Isn’t your post supposed to be about a male colleague making an inappropriate comment about you? Yet you choose to put down the women you work with instead. Charming.

SquirrelMadness · 05/10/2025 10:47

Wearing clothes that accentuate your arse crack and then complaining about people noticing is making a mockery of feminism, imo. It makes us look silly. Men don't walk around the office in tight trousers that accentuate the outline of their penis and if they did I'm pretty sure people would comment on it.

Hmm1234 · 05/10/2025 10:28

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Sounds like a compliment

Deboragh · 05/10/2025 09:55

MissMoneyFairy · 03/10/2025 17:18

I'd ask what did he mean by his comment about your leggings

And more to the point, WHO was he sending it to? Is there a men only group chat were they rate their female colleagues 🤮

NototerrorismIntheUK · 05/10/2025 09:37

MissMoneyFairy · 03/10/2025 17:18

I'd ask what did he mean by his comment about your leggings

This. Just clarify what they meant. Say you read it.

washinwashoutrepeat · 05/10/2025 09:34

This thread is absolutely bonkers!

I would definitely let him know that I saw the message, and then I would give him my best ‘I’m disappointed’ stare before walking away.

NorthernGirl1975 · 05/10/2025 09:28

Katherine9 · 05/10/2025 09:00

If writing thoughts is 'stupid' then surely that has implications for online forums!

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I mean in the workplace setting. I really fancy a colleague of mine and some days depending on what he's wearing (nothing like the OP) he looks particularly hot. I'd never dream of messaging another colleague to say so however! Nobody knows what I think but me.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 05/10/2025 09:26

I think the op is winding us all up

Poetnojo · 05/10/2025 09:04

TimeConsuming · 04/10/2025 19:59

For all the people saying it’s a compliment, it’s actually a “blame the woman for my bad behaviour” comment.

”she knew what she was doing” is a way to claim some kind of consent for objectification. It’s a vile comment.

Wearing scrunch bum leggings is deliberately to highlight and enhance the bum therefore definitely CONSENTING to other people looking at it, I'd even go do far as deliberately ENCOURAGING other people to look at it ESPECIALLY is she was also wearing a short tight tshirt with it. SHE was OBJECTIFYING herself.

Katherine9 · 05/10/2025 09:00

NorthernGirl1975 · 05/10/2025 08:19

But they're not stupid enough to put it in writing.

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If writing thoughts is 'stupid' then surely that has implications for online forums!

NorthernGirl1975 · 05/10/2025 08:19

Joloman74 · 05/10/2025 03:11

Stop clutching at those string pearls round your neck and have a minute will you! Major over reaction. It was a compliment towards her! Everyone at some point has made a passing comment about someone they thought looked good. Honestly, the comments on here from those saying report it, you all need to remove that rather large stick from up your behinds!

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But they're not stupid enough to put it in writing.

Katherine9 · 05/10/2025 08:08

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 04/10/2025 23:28

It wasn't a compliment.

Having read the OP's subsequent posts I would wonder why was she wearing clothes which are completely inappropriate in a work place and actually serve no purpose other to objectify her.

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Agreed it wasn’t a compliment. It was the observation that she knew her clothing was inappropriate and decided to wear it anyway.

Katherine9 · 05/10/2025 08:03

LottieMary · 03/10/2025 18:04

Wow this thread is disappointing. So far I’ve gathered that it’s her fault, he’s somehow sad and thwarted because lonely in love so entitled to say whatever he likes, and it’s just bantz

I honestly fuxkng despair

Weird interpretation of the posts.

TeenLifeMum · 05/10/2025 04:14

PardonMeNot · 05/10/2025 04:12

I meant the OP’s post. 🫣

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Ah, my 4am brain 😂🫣 ignore me 😬

PardonMeNot · 05/10/2025 04:12

TeenLifeMum · 05/10/2025 04:09

Are you suggesting me writing a response on mn is the same as someone wearing scrunch leggings to a workplace or have I misunderstood (it’s 4am and I can’t sleep so I don’t really understand your comment).

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I meant the OP’s post. 🫣

TeenLifeMum · 05/10/2025 04:09

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 05/10/2025 03:58

Same as with this post. 🙄

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Are you suggesting me writing a response on mn is the same as someone wearing scrunch leggings to a workplace or have I misunderstood (it’s 4am and I can’t sleep so I don’t really understand your comment).

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 05/10/2025 03:58

TeenLifeMum · 03/10/2025 18:28

This can’t be real. Surely no one would actually wear scrunch leggings to a workplace? Totally inappropriate. If it’s true then yes, you knew what you were doing. I’d assume looking for attention.

Same as with this post. 🙄

Itsjustmethatsall · 05/10/2025 03:31

Namechangerage · 03/10/2025 19:30

If you wore these to the office without a top covering the arse, that is so deeply inappropriate. He’s an arse too (pun intended) but if yours literally looked like this…. I see so many people wearing them like they’re baboons or something. Is it some kind of fetish for showing off their cracks? Because as a piece of clothing they are also so ugly and unimaginative.

This! ^^

Joloman74 · 05/10/2025 03:11

PinkFrogss · 03/10/2025 17:23

That’s gross OP. I’m assuming it’s from a male colleague? I’d discuss with your line manager and ask that the chat logs are viewed. That kind of discussion is completely inappropriate for a workplace.

Stop clutching at those string pearls round your neck and have a minute will you! Major over reaction. It was a compliment towards her! Everyone at some point has made a passing comment about someone they thought looked good. Honestly, the comments on here from those saying report it, you all need to remove that rather large stick from up your behinds!

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