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Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
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Katherina198819 · 03/10/2025 20:51

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:45

That's not appropriate conversation between colleagues, especially on work time. Seriously, have none of you people ever worked anywhere before? Cannot believe how many people think sexual harassment in the workplace is a totally normal thing

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I don’t think you’ve really worked anywhere before. Colleagues — especially friends — talk about who’s attractive all the time.

And no, I don't belive that just two friends talking privately about a coworker’s attractiveness count as sexual harassment.

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:49

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

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Ew, OP. I'd been defending you but this comment is gross. One of my best friends is a size 20 and wears leggings with crop tops regularly - and she looks fucking hot. Even if she didn't, who cares? Don't be gross, when you're literally asking about what to do when people inappropriately comment on your appearance

Milosc · 03/10/2025 20:49

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

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Scrunch bum leggings are not flattering for anyone. I am a pilates instructor in the evenings and wouldn't wear those to that job let alone my day job casual or not. BTW, that comment is just bitchy in general. Not everyone wants to see your ass 🙄

limescale · 03/10/2025 20:48

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:54

They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

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I think your colleague was right then - you surely know that scrunch bum leggings draw the eye of anyone behind you to your bum.

I know we are all told that we can wear what we like and that it's all on the person following you up the stairs to avert their eyes and not have a single thought about the fact every natural wobble is visible.

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:47

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 03/10/2025 17:23

And you of course have never said anything about anyone ever? Riiight.

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I don't see why you think this is relevant. Sexual comments about a colleague are never okay. If she has said something about someone else - they should report her. This wasn't the clever comment you thought it was

Katherina198819 · 03/10/2025 20:46

I definitely would have said something like, ‘Oh, I saw your message before you deleted it. So you liked my leggings?’
I would do it just to embarrass them, but that’s my personality.

Ocelotfeet27 · 03/10/2025 20:45

What would you say, if you were going to respond? Hopefully not a telling off given scrunch bum leggings are hardly appropriate work wear.

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:45

Ponoka7 · 03/10/2025 17:35

Did you wear leggings with a short top?
People are allowed private conversations. Are you single? Could he have wanted to start a conversation about him fancying you?

That's not appropriate conversation between colleagues, especially on work time. Seriously, have none of you people ever worked anywhere before? Cannot believe how many people think sexual harassment in the workplace is a totally normal thing

TalkToTheHand123 · 03/10/2025 20:44

I read it as he is saying she is being a tease. I'd just give him the 'I read what you sent' look and wind him up about him to embarrass him every time you see him.

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:43

DoYouReally · 03/10/2025 17:43

His comment was wrong but I cannot think of any working environment, other than a gym, where legging are acceptable smart casual wear.

Then you've clearly never worked in media, other more modern types of company, retail, labour jobs - lots of people wear leggings for work

sweetpickle2 · 03/10/2025 20:43

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

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We all understood your point just fine, OP.

MatriarchCaz · 03/10/2025 20:43

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - stop making yourself seem vain and up yourself

Dontitalwaysseemtogo · 03/10/2025 20:42

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

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Feels like you need to get over yourself at this point!

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:41

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:34

Apparently not in the soulless, humourless land of the chronically po-faced.

i wonder how these women's husbands ever made a move without being reported for doing so.

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You are so pathetically misogynistic. I honestly don't even understand how people like you still exist. It's 2025, not 1950. You need to grow up and get with the times - this whole bit you're doing is just so sad and embarrassing 😂

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 20:41

Goingncforthisone · 03/10/2025 20:23

What bothers me more about the message is the "she knew what she was doing..." part, like OP was just wearing those leggings to make herself attractive to colleagues?

She was

Original poster
Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:40

MyElatedUmberFinch · 03/10/2025 20:32

Is there a size limit for wearing leggings?

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Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

OP posts:
InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:38

Joliefolie · 03/10/2025 18:38

Ditto to a pp who worked with a guy who got told not to wear cycling shorts in the workplace (to be fair to him he was intending to do some cycling at the end of the day). No way are those leggings appropriate work wear, and if you didn't know what you were doing, then you should have done. I am all for women should be able to wear what they like but no one should be able to wear inappropriate clothing in the workplace and get affronted if it provokes comments - of whatever nature - behind their backs. And maybe those size 16 ladies you dearly love were saying similar because let's face it - you wore an outfit that was designed to draw attention and are now pretending you didn't.

Edited

Ew, imagine being this misogynistic and bitter. Wear what you want - you don't get to comment on what other people wear. Especially to shame them. Some people don't work for dinosaurs and are allowed to wear comfortable clothing for work - OP works in PR and lots of us that work in media can wear whatever the hell we like for work because our bosses don't police us, like creepy school teachers. This whole thing you're doing is just pathetic, grow up

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:34

Winter42 · 03/10/2025 20:22

So as you have clarified yourself, you did indeed know what you were doing with those leggings.

You know you have a nice arse. You dress to accentuate it. Why would you then be annoyed that people have noticed it?

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Do you seriously not hear yourself? Do you wear clothes that actively make you look like crap? I'm assuming not. It doesn't give people, especially work colleagues, the right to make sexualised comments about you. This isn't a complicated concept

CalendarKelly · 03/10/2025 20:33

I didn’t even read it as a compliment. The only compliment flying around is OP’s on how she looks amazing compared to her size 16 colleagues and some ex has some end-of-world fantasy with her behind.

As OP said they were discussing work back and forth I took it to mean the guy felt under the pump from work pressure, feeling that he was run ragged by OP’s endless work commentary. He said the leggings comment because people who run may wear leggings and then he put a sweating face to indicate being given a workout.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 03/10/2025 20:32

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

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Is there a size limit for wearing leggings?

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 20:32

Rosscameasdoody · 03/10/2025 20:18

Yep. Of course they have, and so have the posters commenting g that it’s sexist. So much hypocrisy here.

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Yes because telling a friend about a random bloke you fancy is exactly the same as making sexualised comments about a colleague, to another colleague. Honestly, your sexism and misogyny is just pathetic. Grow up

LBFseBrom · 03/10/2025 20:32

What are 'wedgie leggings'? I will google.
Leggings are for home and exercising, maybe wearing to the shops with a very long t-shirt but not for a meeting.
No doubt men will be wearing ballet tights to the office in future.

G5000 · 03/10/2025 20:28

Goingncforthisone · 03/10/2025 20:23

What bothers me more about the message is the "she knew what she was doing..." part, like OP was just wearing those leggings to make herself attractive to colleagues?

nobody wears those wedgie leggings for comfort

Goingncforthisone · 03/10/2025 20:23

What bothers me more about the message is the "she knew what she was doing..." part, like OP was just wearing those leggings to make herself attractive to colleagues?

Winter42 · 03/10/2025 20:22

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 20:17

This is all very entertaining I must say, I didn’t expect the replies to exceed page 1!

A couple of points:

-I don’t need my work colleagues to point out I have a nice arse. I know I do. An ex once said if he could choose how he’d leave this earth then he’d spend an afternoon buried underneath it..

-I work for a PR company, forward thinking, ran by strong women. They have no issue with casual office wear and the founder often wears similar leggings herself.

So as you have clarified yourself, you did indeed know what you were doing with those leggings.

You know you have a nice arse. You dress to accentuate it. Why would you then be annoyed that people have noticed it?

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