Colleague sent me message by mistake

Right?!

Wow.

when I read your OP I was firmly on your side, but having read your updates, I think you sound as misogynistic as your colleague.

By the way scrunch leggings look gross on everyone - i personally really don't want to be exposed to that much butt crack on full display 😅 - and I cannot fathom how anyone would ever think they were appropriate attire for work.

😂

I thought I understood why you started this thread, but now I realise that I don't. You asked us if you should have a word with him? What were you thinking of saying? Are you wanting to sound him out to see if he really fancies you because you fancy him? Or do you want him to stop swooning over your leggings? I am at a bit of a loss here.

Why not?

You really do rate yourself, don’t you 🤣

Not the best turn of phrase but he was basically saying you looked hot in those leggings. And the fact he's said 'she' and not your name means this is following on from a convo they've already been having about you (and your leggings!)

So while obviously a bit sleazy, he clearly said it cos he fancies you. The question now is: do you fancy him? 🤔

There is a difference between dressing nicely and dressing to deliberately sexualise yourself. Particularly if you are going to then complain about being sexualised.

If you read my previous comment, I also said the colleague should not be making those comments in the workplace. But the workplace isn't really the place to have your arsecrack on display. Both the OP and her colleague are acting professionally in my opinion.

Hmmmm…. So you wear “bog standard” scrunch bum leggings to work (very questionably appropriate for work wear!!!!) and a tight fit shirt. You also confirm you think you have a lovely bum (No complaint from me there. Enjoy your assets. Dress how you want and accentuate what you want) and that men have commented previously on how they’d like to buried under it (so you obviously do enjoy very much male appreciation). Then you come on here acting as if you’re offended..? Come on! You wore the leggings to get male attention and then had a faux flounce when you caught a man looking/commenting. Your “complaint” seems disingenuous at best. I think whichever PP declared humble bragging was right. I suspect you were probably delighted as it confirmed men were appreciating your assets. Just as you intended.

Hahaha. That company needs to update their robots — simply having an eye and talking to a friend isn't going to make you a predator.

Do you not form any friendships with your colleagues? In every single office, or other workplace I have worked, colleagues become like friends and the communication is as such. I have heard far more of these types of comments from women about men (probably because the men talk to the other men and not us women). It is natural to feel an attraction to the sex we are attracted to. It is also normal to offload those thoughts sometimes as a 1 off throwaway comment.
If this guy was repeatedly making comments like this about OP, or if the message was directed to her as in "you knew what you was doing wearing those leggins", then I would be all on board with report the creepy sleaze as that would be harassment.
He made a stupid mistake of sending it to OP instead of his colleague which is no doubt someone he has a friendship with so talks to in the same way he would a friend.
There has been happily married women in work witb me who have expressed attraction to a new male colleague or if a male college come in showing his muscular arms for example in summer that they had not noticed before. They comment. Nothing is ever further said. 1 off fly away comment. No harassment. The guy is unaffected and unaware. Some times I find it cringe, but no harm is done and it is not a repeated comment

I'm reading this with great interest. Last year on an inset day we had primary colleagues join us at my secondary school. One colleague was in beige, scrunch-bum leggings with a tight top. EVERYONE was uncomfortable, including my male friends who said it was difficult to know where to look, as she was presenting at one point - in close proximity to many groups, bending over desks to answer questions etc.

She had been nowhere near a gym on the way either, as she had a full face of make-up & discussed at one point rushing out the door to get to us as she'd mis-timed her journey.

Honestly, folk still talk about it on occasion, as in 'Remember that teacher...' No-one's judging- she did indeed have a fabulous backside- but it was so inappropriate.

We have many young, beautiful PE teachers of both sexes, who wear sports clothing, some of which is tight fitting, but it's worn with a longer top/ sweatshirt- we work with teenagers FGS, it needs to be carefully considered.

So is OP guilty of sexual harassment now considering her comments about her size 16 larger lady colleagues?

"Hope this helped" the only thing I hope is that people would stop using this pathetically condescending sign off 🤢 it's very tired, now.

That's absolutely hilarious, I bet he SHAT himself when he realised! 🤣

Casual discussion isn’t the same as behavior meant to harass. They were talking to each other, not to her, and the message was sent by mistake. You’ve never privately commented on your colleague to a friend, family member, or coworker??? Give me a break!

Somebody made a comment suggesting you have a fantastic arse. You comment yourself that you have a fantastic arse, he observed it. I can't see the big deal at all. When I think of all the women that are truly objectified and treated like sexual objects then this doesn't even register. Move on.

To be honest, I would also assume anyone wearing scrunch bum leggings with a normal length t shirt was trying to show off the shape of their arse. I wouldn't say anything but that's what I'd think.

You genuinely can't think of any job where someone might be permitted to wear a pair of leggings? 🙄

You’ll have people say it’s a free world, you can wear what you like etc but to be fair wearing scrunch bum leggings to work (even for a casual dress day) doesn’t sound very appropriate. You are clearly proud of your backside as you’ve mentioned and your attire probably did draw attention to it. That’s not to say that it isn’t crass that your colleague was discussing it in the workplace!

Wow, aren’t you a lovely person

Definitely 100% erase it from your memory. That way you won't have to pretend you didn't see it.

I've worked at many large media companies - clearly you've never taken sexual harassment courses, showing me you've never worked for a big company.

So let me explain for you, as someone that's done the training. You are not permitted to discuss your colleague's appearance. You are not allowed to comment on their appearance at all, to their face, unless you have a very good relationship with them and know for sure it is okay. You are never allowed to make sexual comments about a colleague. This is both on work time and outside of work time.

Your own blatant disregard for company policy and lack of respect for your colleagues, is a you problem and I expect you'll suffer the consequences of it at some point. Hope this helped 👍

OP, I had a similar thing once, but because I was his line manager, I had to address it (completely mortifying at the time, but I was so glad I handled it). My colleague was very junior (his second job since uni) and he needed to learn a valuable lesson.

What’s the dynamic with your colleague and how much do you want to put him in his place?

Agreed.

Sexual harassment for an accidental message which was swiftly deleted. Honestly 😭

I wouldn’t call him out on it but next time you’re messaging him about something finish with a couple of 😅😅 and see if he dares mention it!