Colleague sent me message by mistake

Not on a work IT system, no. I don't know where you work but in the public service that is a huge NO!

Any and all such comms are FOI-able and you always work on the principle of How would this look on the front page of the Sunday newspaper?

He must be a complete idiot.

Ok lay off her, that’s so aggressive

Nope. I might think it but I sure as heck won't ever say it. And def not on work IT systems. He's a complete idiot.

Yeh, three cheers for her magnificent arse

Stealth boasting about your arse making you ex and your colleagues sweat, whilst simultaneously sneering at the idea of anyone of a size 16 wearing what you can wear, is not a good look OP.

Congratulations on your bottom. Now be a bit more gracious.

OP, I voted YABU
I suspect some of the YANBU voters did so before seeing your dripfed updates.
you wore what you wore, knowing exactly that it would draw attention to your wedged arse.
maybe you should look at your own comments on your colleague’s physical appearance on a public forum.
Don’t worry OP, once day you’ll be older, sized 16 with a saggy arse and you won’t have to suffer feign indignant surprise.

I would report to HR with an official request of his teams messages log to be reviewed

How bizarre. Who would wear leggings to work?

But yet the OP deamed all her female colleagues as having the body type that could not wear leggings. Where's your crayons 🖍

You know what they say: "If you meet one jerk in the morning, that’s unfortunate. If you meet jerks all day long, maybe you’re the jerk."

You think someone who works in Goldman or Deloittes would wear scrunch bum leggings (or any leggings for that matter) to work? They’d be escorted from the building! 😂

This is such a reduculous comment. In the real world if you turn up in a bikini to anywhere other than the beach or pool you are dressing inappropriately. So expect anyone to just turn a blind eye if you dress totally inappropriately is nieve at best. If you wear scrunch leggings which were designed for the very purpose of showing off your arse. What do you expect people to think or say about that. She was in a work place. It was not the place for that.
If he directed the comments at her it would be different, but he sent it to her by mistake and tried to undo his error. Every woman I have know, married or otherwise have made comments on guys and I expect it is the same with guys. I wouldn't care if someone is commenting on me as long as they didn't turn that into a predatory unprovoked commentary. If I heard it once I would call them out, say I read it and didn't find it appropriate. Would see that as the end of it. Of they then continued, then I would take it further.

I work in an industry previously dominated by men. The women before me have worked hard to make us seen as capable equals. I worry if women like you take every comment to the extreme then you will undo all the work those women have done and make us seem like something different and someone to feel wary of for the slightest comment that women themselves make. You push people too hard and make their normal reactions into something to be reported for. You risk fight back.

I find it upsetting the way racism seems to be growing right now. A few years ago, by listening and having the lovely conversations with my DD about other cultures and acceptance, I truly believed racism would die out by the time my DM was of old age. Since then the white people who have taken it upon themselves to deam everyone as racist, they have damaged the cause. They have made people feel uncomfortable around black people and worried they might say the wrong thing. Black people didn't cause that, white people did. I hate that and can see types like you are going to do the same for women. Scary how this county is going really. The guy sent a message to a message meant for a mate accidentally said it to the OP, you think he should loose his job. If women had the same risk, most would be out of a job if the conversations with a colleague / friend is judged

@Islandhopper10 I wonder if he messaged you on purpose but made it look like an accident. I’d pull him up on it and ask who it was intended for.

So if someone said, “Oh, what a lovely coat, where’s it from?” : would that count as sexual harassment too? Interesting place to work....
Or do you just find OP's situation insulting because it came from a man?

Ewwww

Human beings are wired to look, to notice, to judge and to feel attraction (or not). Commenting and acting on it is optional of course but you can’t change how people think and react to or feel about how another person looks.

What an attention-seeking thread….

@24karatPalamino I’m a teacher. Glad to know the parents will be fully accepting when I arrive to class, or the school trip in a pair of scrunch leggings.

The schoolboys will be accepting!

That’s a bit sinister

I actually thought they were going out of fashion. I haven’t seen them on anyone in ages.

I would use it..... When I needed to. And I would make sure they knew I had something of interest

Also please can I have the aforementioned diagram. With crayons. (What would that even look like?)

Thanks.

😂

Why would anyone want to wear something that looks like their anus anyway??

Equally you seem very opinionated about the mindset of others….but sure, your opinions are ok.

Sorry I’m just off to try on my bikinis in order to decide which one I’ll wear to work on Monday. I have a really skimpy one I bought at the start of the Summer. I’ve put on a good half a stone since then. I mean, it was a bit risqué when I bought it, but now I’ll be positively busting (no pun intended) out of it in all directions. Fair play to me though, I am hot! I’ll pretend I don’t know this when I wear it to the office though. Then I can start a thread about people’s comments. (Not that I should expect any of course. All eyes to the front and everyone acting like this is appropriate office wear. Should my superiors ask to speak to me, I will of course direct them to this thread - in between accusing everyone of mysogeny!)