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Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
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DonnyBurrito · 03/10/2025 23:54

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 22:03

No one should ever be making comments about their colleagues bodies. I truly don't know how to explain this in a more simple way for you

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As long as no-one is trying to make another colleague feel uncomfortable or upset, I don't see what the issue is. It was a mistake to send it to her, but to say that WE MUST NOT COMMENT ON COLLEAGUES EVER - EVEN TO FRIENDS IN CONFIDENCE is just not rational.

'hOpE tHaT heLps'/'touch grass', etc

TootSweeties · 03/10/2025 23:53

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

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Christ better get rid of my leggings being on the curvier side 😅

vivi45 · 03/10/2025 23:47

Leggings and scrunch bum leggings are two very different things and it’s not hard to see why the latter may attract attention.

MumWifeOther · 03/10/2025 23:43

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Take the compliment I say!

BreezyAquaCrow · 03/10/2025 23:37

24karatPalamino · 03/10/2025 21:35

Op, I am currently a UK size 8 to 10, with a lovely defined waistline.

And I would not wear those scrunch leggings, even if they were the last thing on earth. I’m not old either. I have long dark hair and tanned skin. I’m a beaut and very happy with how I look. But those leggings are so trashy, seriously. They are cheap looking and indecent.

Now I realise your partner likes them. That might be because he gets to see your arse crack and flaps in them. But this isn’t nice for everyone.

Pervert men will also notice. They don’t think you’re beautiful or desirable in a holistic and complimentary way, it’s again just sexual (hence the sweat emoji).

But is that who you want to attract? It never was for me, but then I’ve never set out to try and impress anyone but myself.

Equally though, I think this thread is either desperate or bollocks. Mainly because every six months or so we get a ‘I’m attracting all this unwanted attention in my everyday, big standard scrunch arse leggings - is it because I’m just so desirable and the men at work (your husbands) can’t handle me’ threads.

This! Find some self-respect OP and stop attention seeking.

hohummm1 · 03/10/2025 23:27

newnamehereonceagain · 03/10/2025 21:42

This is all just made up, isn’t it?

Free entertainment though!

Quite possibly. I'm trying to imagine anyone under the age of 70, let alone a woman, talking about loving 'most of the ladies dearly', or musing on what would be flattering to 'the larger ladies.'

forward thinking, ran by strong women.
Hope you're not a copywriter, OP.

Myrtletown · 03/10/2025 23:27

Peachy2005 · 03/10/2025 19:02

I challenge anyone to google scrunch bum leggings and come back here and say they are suitable for the workplace, even on casual day. They are bad enough in a gym tbh: it’s literally “look at my arse-crack”!

Edited

It’s like a baboon showing off its sexual organs. I’d imagine he was laughing at you

gillefc82 · 03/10/2025 23:27

@Islandhopper10 I definitely think you should report this to HR as it will kill two birds with one stone:

  1. sleazy colleague gets pulled up on his conduct and hopefully suitably chastised to the extent he won’t ever repeat such behaviour; and

  2. HR will be prompted to review and amend your work’s Dress Code policy to reflect the unsuitability of leggings like these in a professional workplace setting.

Result: you’ll no longer need to worry about receiving any inappropriate or upsetting messages such as this again and your colleagues will be saved from being force fed viewing your arse crack every dress down day.

Frazzledmama23 · 03/10/2025 23:26

the world has gone ridiculous! I met my husband at work when I was a lot younger (and hotter) and the flirting and inuendos in the workplace were what made me want to go to work in the morning! Then we got drunk at a christmas party and the rest is history. I miss those days!!

Sugarpopsicle · 03/10/2025 23:24

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/10/2025 18:36

Nothing surprises me anymore. I worked with someone who liked to wear short dresses to work and would bend down to pick stuff up whilst not wearing any knickers. When someone complained about it she demanded that they be taken into a room to describe in detail what tattoos she had on her arse, as though the complaint was worse than her behaviour.

Honestly, they walk (work) among us.

She had started an only fans account. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was filming herself doing it. She got sacked when she refused to go home and put underwear on and was last seen being dragged out by security while she screamed her head off about “human rights”.

This is the funniest thread I’ve read in ages. Regardless of the OP’s intentions. Really need the laughs, some of these comments, including the thong bikini on an away day questions are just too inspired. Not to forget the illiterate comment either.

MayaPinion · 03/10/2025 23:23

Haha, well he’s not wrong, is he? The purpose of scrunch butt leggings is to get people to look at your arse 😂

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 23:18

Oh & zoomers are folk whose brains 'zoom' around usually with ridiculous ideas.

After a wild Friday I forget I'm not in work with fellow Scots!

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 23:18

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 23:15

Sorry, it's very much a Scottish expression- it means that it pisses you off, ie the way you'd be really pissed off if someone ripped your careful knitting.

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And what is a fucking zoomer?

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 23:15

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 23:12

What does this mean?

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Sorry, it's very much a Scottish expression- it means that it pisses you off, ie the way you'd be really pissed off if someone ripped your careful knitting.

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 23:12

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 23:11

Ta. It never fails to amaze me the fucking zoomers you get on here- it rips ma knittin'.

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What does this mean?

Somethingsnapped · 03/10/2025 23:11

Jespie · 03/10/2025 23:06

Awww, I do love the classic mumsnet “fat”-shaming veiled with naivety thread. ❤️

Yep. OP doesn't like to hear personal comments made about her body, yet is happy to share her opinions on the bodies of her work colleagues. She doesn't sound very bright.

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 23:11

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 23:03

The voice of reason. Love this.

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Ta. It never fails to amaze me the fucking zoomers you get on here- it rips ma knittin'.

Jespie · 03/10/2025 23:09

Just waiting for the OP with the good old “I’m not shaming them, I’m just worried for their health and self confidence 🥺”

Jespie · 03/10/2025 23:06

Awww, I do love the classic mumsnet “fat”-shaming veiled with naivety thread. ❤️

Sugarpopsicle · 03/10/2025 23:06

gorlomi · 03/10/2025 17:21

CALM DOWN!!

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🤣

GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 23:03

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 22:56

Are you kidding me on? Grow up? I've got 30+ years experience of teaching in an inner-city school. You wouldn't last a day.

There's no 'sexual feelings' here, that's absurd. There was disbelief enmasse that someone would sexualise themselves in a work environment & make everyone feel uncomfortable just because they felt like drawing attention to themselves. It's a work environment. I think she looked ridiculous & attention-needing in her skin coloured attire showing her labia & arse crack.. She can do as she wishes in the street/ gym/ whatever, but to make others uncomfortable is not on.

Take your accusations & live in the fucking real world.

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The voice of reason. Love this.

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 22:56

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 21:55

You all need to learn to take responsibility for yourselves and stop making your sexual feelings other people's problem. It honestly baffles me how many people are in these comments going "but they made my bits feel tingly and I couldn't control myself and it's their fault for existing!". Seriously, just grow up

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Are you kidding me on? Grow up? I've got 30+ years experience of teaching in an inner-city school. You wouldn't last a day.

There's no 'sexual feelings' here, that's absurd. There was disbelief enmasse that someone would sexualise themselves in a work environment & make everyone feel uncomfortable just because they felt like drawing attention to themselves. It's a work environment. I think she looked ridiculous & attention-needing in her skin coloured attire showing her labia & arse crack.. She can do as she wishes in the street/ gym/ whatever, but to make others uncomfortable is not on.

Take your accusations & live in the fucking real world.

Hellohelga · 03/10/2025 22:56

I had to look up scrunch bum leggings. Eew - right up the crack, at work all day, while all the blokes letch, just no. Don’t you want to be know for your great work rather than your great arse?

Silversaxo · 03/10/2025 22:55

I’d forget about it and move on with my day.

BrokenWingsCantFly · 03/10/2025 22:54

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 22:07

Then don't look 👍 clothes are clothes. She got dressed. Your sexual feelings aren't anyone else's problem

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She wore clothes that were purposely designed to draw attention to the arse.
Normal leggings I'd get it, scrunch leggings not so much.
If he had directed the comment at her while she was wearing scrunch leggings, I'd still get it. Bit he didn't. Was embarrassed enough to tey and undo what he sent, so by no means wanting to make the OP feel uncomfortable. I'm seriously co certained by the level of people who would report this as harassment. It undermines the genuine cases and if there is enough of this, then it will only make it harder for us women in the future.
I repeat though if he had directed this comment at her (and not for a friend) or if it was a repeat insistence, I would support reporting it. Reporting needs to be for the deserved or it will minimise genuine concerns.