Colleague sent me message by mistake

Some people can look extremely hot in leggings.

Im not one of them.

This is what's confusing me.

It does sound like that, but leggings??

No-one looks hot or not in leggings - they're just a wardrobe staple and worn correctly, all anyone else can see is material covered legs 🤷‍♂️

But this is about the op not you being a faithful person. Only the op can comment on my question.

He likes your arse from what you say but surely shouldn't be contacting anyone apart from you about it. Do you fancy him? If so ask if he liked your leggings and he'll either squirm or something might transpire.

Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady.

Aha! A lightbulb moment. Knowing what she's doing means not getting male attention as such but getting one over on female colleagues?

You think your female colleagues are overweight (at size 16, why?), and that you are the only one who should wear leggings because you are more petite? Forgive me but it indeed seems that "you know what you are doing" here and I don't believe you respect or "love" your female colleagues at all.

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

Isn’t this common sense?

I’m in my 20s, slim, go gym etc. It’s cringe to say but undeniably I have a nice figure. I don’t dress to emphasise my figure at work though. You’re specifically wearing scrunch bum leggings to accentuate your ass, alongside a tight t shirt to what, accentuate your boobs/waist?

For me, I don’t see the point in doing that. I don’t want the losers I work with to think I’m attractive like that. I totally dress differently at work, than outside of work.

So… objectification and comments on appearance are ok as long as you don’t know it’s happening? What a stupid comment. His message was hardly earth shattering, she should just ignore it and move on.

Bog standard scrunch leggings? Can you say oxymoron. 😂

Has no-one on here ever looked at a bloke and said to a friend “OMG he’s hot/lush/<insert term of choice>”? Not ever?

Honestly the way in which people get worked up about these things,

The fact that we now have messaging etc means that what you say can potentially be seen by the person you’ve said it about, but anyone who says they’ve never made a comment about someone they’ve found attractive is lying.

People saying "take it as a compliment" need to raise their standards. You should be allowed to wear leggings (or anything!) to work without being objectified.

Yes people comment on other people's appearances, but to do so on a work messaging system is unprofessional at best and creepy at worst. Save it for your private conversations when you're not on work time.

I agree in part. The equivalent of those leggings really would be a big, leather Henry VIII- style codpiece. Imagine if men began wearing those out and about.

But regardless of that I think men comment on their female colleagues' appearance at their own risk, unless they're reporting inappropriate drea to the boss. It's just not a good idea. If I were the OP's colleague I would be getting ready to apologise or seeing whether I could lie my way out of it!

I'd drop him a message just to say that you won't be wearing leggings again. That'll really make him sweat 😓 .

Exactly.

And just to clarify for the benefit of some posters:

Wearing clothing that accentuates secondary sexual characteristics does not excuse men sexually assaulting women.

However, it does excuse them commenting on the wearer's attractiveness. Because after all, women wear them because they want to appear attractive to men.

That is not exactly how sexual harassment is policed, and management should not automatically take the word of the majority. A majority could claim something was "banter" but it could still be harassment.

I can assure you I was suitably covered thanks and nothing was on show 😂

I best make my other female colleagues aware that if they dare wear leggings or don’t have something baggy covering their mid region then they should expect to be treated like a piece of meat!

Are scrunch leggings the ones where the scrunched bit is designed to look like a bum hole? If so, there may be a generational difference at play in terms of the opinions you’re getting on appropriateness. I’m young and fit enough to still look good in leggings but I remember when I first saw women a few years younger wearing these at the gym, my internal response was ‘what the actual fuck?’ And this is coming from someone who doesn’t normally bat an eyelid at fashion changes. It’s nothing to do with tightness, but just the sheer oddity of leggings that deliberately replicate an intimate body part on the outside. All I can think when I see them is what next? Vulva leggings? The women I see in them with nice figures look nice enough, but that’s definitely in spite of the bum hole part not because of it! 😂 I think that lots of people see them aa pretty absurd clothing, which is likely driving some of the response on here.

Having said that, my view is that if casual wear is ok in the office then these should be as acceptable as casual office wear, even though I personally dislike them. Certainly nobody should be texting about what you’re wearing, especially in a sexualised way. I suppose it’s a bit like in the 1960s when mini skirts were new and viewed by some as genuinely outrageous - likely people gossiped. But you don’t have to brush this under the carpet if you don’t want to and male colleagues should not be making you feel
uncomfortable. Yes, it was arguably a private conversation but there is clear workplace guidance on sexual harassment and you always have to treat your colleagues as colleagues first. Inappropriate conversations aren’t ok just because they’re outside the office. Also, once committed to text there’s always a risk it will be seen or passed on, which is absolutely on him.