Page 2 | Political views and friends drop off

Noononoo · 2025-10-03T09:37:15+00:00

In all my rather long life my political views have been in accord with my friends, even confidently leading them. Fashionable, on trend etc etc. no problem. Most of my friends weren’t as feminist as I, I published left wing political stuff. But now things have radically changed: I am not in the streets waving the Palestinian flag: I was so appalled at 10/7 and shocked at how little sympathy was expressed for the Jewish community , how anti semitism rose. I had been aware of antisemitism in the Palestinian solidarity movement since the 90’s, a small but chilling faction. It was always ignored. There are ten times the number if Muslims voting in this country compared to Jews. The Overton window has shifted. Politicians know which side their bread is buttered. I found out that if I posted anything pretty mild about women’s rights I was getting blanked. I am gender critical in line with my passion for feminism and wary of the patriarchy, damned if a few men will dictate what women are called and where they can go. Not fashionable. And now I realise that friends have dropped away. I’m not at all on trend. In fact I’m a bit scary it seems. Best avoided. Can it be a coincidence? I just wondered if this rang true for anyone else?

JLou08 · 04/10/2025 14:56

I get the impression from the way your post is written that you think you are above others and are always right. Those types of people are usually closed minded and hard to get along with. Maybe that is the reason for the loss of friends. I have friends and family with very different political views to my own but it doesn't impact the relationship.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/10/2025 14:55

I think these two issues - Israel / Palestine and trans/ women’s rights are so difficult, and place wedges between people who would normally be friends and aligned. Good, well meaning people on both sides.

Its almost as though those with a malign agenda have deliberately stoked these issues to divide those of us who would like to see ourselves as inclusive and tolerant 🤔

Timelineuk · 04/10/2025 14:52

NightIbble · 04/10/2025 13:57

I'm always baffled by those who think their friends political views don't matter! Surely your political views are part of who you are as a person and say a lot about your values and ethics?

Not so much the past but lately we are seeing some changes with this, and it’s not the supposed left liberals who are being vile about anyone who doesn’t fit their criteria of the perfect human. It’s Almost 1930’s ish

Timelineuk · 04/10/2025 14:49

LeaderBee · 03/10/2025 11:03

I'm really not surprised to find out that you are liberal and left leaning, seems to be those that are first to kick up a stink when it comes to their friends opposing views.

Go and have a look at comments from GB News trump and Farage supporters and see their comments on anyone who actually cares about humanity and then come back that stupid comment about liberals . Ridiculous

NightIbble · 04/10/2025 13:57

I'm always baffled by those who think their friends political views don't matter! Surely your political views are part of who you are as a person and say a lot about your values and ethics?

chipsticksmammy · 04/10/2025 13:40

I did hope you would reflect on your OP. However your updates show you your thoughts and your politics very clearly. Whilst I respect your views, I would not wish to in your company.

The UN has found Israel is committing genocide in Gaza.

Goldenbear · 04/10/2025 13:30

Noononoo · 04/10/2025 12:27

Well you see standing up for women’s rights is not transphobic and Israel are not committing genocide, they are fighting genocidal Hamas who proudly boast their genocidal ambitions to destroy Israel and the Jews. You could say that Israel is trying to destroy Hamas that is true. But that is not genocide that is war. When we fought and destroyed the nazis in Germany we were not committing genocide against the Germans.

Do you speak like this to your friends? Tbh you sound intense, maybe calm it down a bit.

OhDear111 · 04/10/2025 13:23

You would not have been my mate in the first place. People who pontificate find their own tribe but they are fickle. Us ordinary folk get along with our friends and certain political views are off limits! We find other things to talk about. Thank God!

CoffeeCantata · 04/10/2025 13:23

MartaMooMoo · 04/10/2025 12:45

What do you mean by confidently leading your friends?

I never discuss politics or religion with friends except for the ones where we agree on most things. I have friends with very different views than myself so better left alone as I really value their friendships.

I think OP’s assertion of ‘confidently leading my friends’ does hint at self-delusion!

As a rule I suspect that if you bang on about politics with your friends, you’ll end up with only a very narrow echo-chamber for your friendship group. And they might only discuss politics….sounds like my idea of hell!

JoanOgden · 04/10/2025 13:16

I try not to lose friends over political views, and while I'm gender-critical myself I have several friends inclined towards the trans rights side.

But if one of my friends started ranting that it was absolutely fine for Israel to starve and murder thousands of civilians then I think I might distance myself a bit.

Frankblackwife · 04/10/2025 13:15

Bullies are awful, people recognise it.

Frankblackwife · 04/10/2025 13:12

Idk, killing kids and shit make you quite easy to dislike

deirdrerasheed · 04/10/2025 12:59

Noononoo · 04/10/2025 12:27

Well you see standing up for women’s rights is not transphobic and Israel are not committing genocide, they are fighting genocidal Hamas who proudly boast their genocidal ambitions to destroy Israel and the Jews. You could say that Israel is trying to destroy Hamas that is true. But that is not genocide that is war. When we fought and destroyed the nazis in Germany we were not committing genocide against the Germans.

This is a rant.

indoorplantqueen · 04/10/2025 12:58

I would drop you for your support of Israel. But that’s my choice and I respect peoples right to have different opinions, I just wouldn’t want to be in their company.

DashboardConfession · 04/10/2025 12:54

Noononoo · 04/10/2025 12:27

Well you see standing up for women’s rights is not transphobic and Israel are not committing genocide, they are fighting genocidal Hamas who proudly boast their genocidal ambitions to destroy Israel and the Jews. You could say that Israel is trying to destroy Hamas that is true. But that is not genocide that is war. When we fought and destroyed the nazis in Germany we were not committing genocide against the Germans.

This is all your opinion. Don't state it as fact. I personally think it is genocide and believe killing medics and aids workers is abhorrent.

MartaMooMoo · 04/10/2025 12:45

What do you mean by confidently leading your friends?

I never discuss politics or religion with friends except for the ones where we agree on most things. I have friends with very different views than myself so better left alone as I really value their friendships.

bigwhitedog · 04/10/2025 12:43

Noononoo · 04/10/2025 12:27

Well you see standing up for women’s rights is not transphobic and Israel are not committing genocide, they are fighting genocidal Hamas who proudly boast their genocidal ambitions to destroy Israel and the Jews. You could say that Israel is trying to destroy Hamas that is true. But that is not genocide that is war. When we fought and destroyed the nazis in Germany we were not committing genocide against the Germans.

I didn't call you a transphobe, you've inferred that yourself.

I can see why no one wants to spend time with you, you're both patronising and wrong.

SocksAndTheCity · 04/10/2025 12:37

Do you often start sentences with 'Well you see...'?

Original poster

Noononoo · 04/10/2025 12:27

Well you see standing up for women’s rights is not transphobic and Israel are not committing genocide, they are fighting genocidal Hamas who proudly boast their genocidal ambitions to destroy Israel and the Jews. You could say that Israel is trying to destroy Hamas that is true. But that is not genocide that is war. When we fought and destroyed the nazis in Germany we were not committing genocide against the Germans.

OP posts:

TheaBrandt1 · 04/10/2025 08:29

There was a long interesting thread on this last month those that felt they were left but now feel alienated and not sure where we fit in politically now. It’s all so complex and no longer binary left / right like the old days.

I never share any political views online and am very careful with friends and family I would hate to fall out with people I care about. And also in most cases there is no “right or wrong” and the other sides opinions are understandable.

Also I find my views on things change and there are things I don’t fully understand especially the Middle East conflict so going in shouting passionately for one side without a full understanding of why we got here is daft. We have Jewish friends so instinctively support them whilst not condoning the Israeli actions in Gaza. Not easy.

bigwhitedog · 04/10/2025 07:41

Yes, I have dropped people for being Transphobic and people who agree with the ongoing genocide in Gaza. I think it's common for politics to fracture relationships.

Original poster

Noononoo · 04/10/2025 07:38

Thanks to all those who have commented and the couple who understood what I was trying to say.
For the record no one I meet casually on a friendly daily basis has any idea of my views on these issues. Not relevant best avoided etc etc and I have always been more than happy to agree to disagree to discuss and listen and be listened to.. it’s the fear that is new.
I’m talking about very old friends often on social media, and even there I very rarely bring stuff up but I suspect I am expected to agree with others more. Show more public support.
another way of putting it us that I have always fitted in, found my home, in the left wing camp and now my views are seen as right wing which for me is bizarre but I’m not going to change them because of that
I think the silencing and backing off is the fear from others. It’s always comforting to feel in a group, to trust the BBC and the Guardian and now I don’t.
I’m ok with it just wondered if it was shared, not asking for life tips. Though I must admit I feel politically stranded.

OP posts:

TeenLifeMum · 03/10/2025 15:01

I use social media for entertainment. Cute kittens and silly pandas. Friends’ political views is not what I want to see there. There is a time and a place.

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 03/10/2025 14:59

sesquipedalian · 03/10/2025 10:53

OP, I find it’s best to agree to disagree with friends - we know (roughly) what each other’s opinions are, and we certainly don’t vote the same way, yet we are still friends - it is possible!

Agreed. Luckily my politics align with my best friends but I'm friendly with people who's politics don't. It's about finding common ground.

chipsticksmammy · 03/10/2025 14:15

The wording in your OP shows exactly why you’ve been ditched. I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually.