School vetoed chats about crushes!

For them to feel the need to address this then it must have gone too far. Trust their judgement I would say.

Last paragraph, I meant to write

"...to expect the opposite where you're allowing children privacy..."

Nowadays the Woke Brigade...

Silly talk.

Also, do you think staring lovingly and not speaking to them is what would've gotten teachers and the school involved in this case? How is that the equivalent? Don't you think it must have been more active and OTT behaviour that was disrupting the classes and creating safeguarding issues or causing massive upset all over that got to the attention of the teachers?

Then if we're talking about "woke brigade", I assume from your post you're referring to being 'progressive' or modern as "woke". In that sense, I'd say you're actually the "woke brigade" since allowing kids to get out of control because of school crushes, like you seem to be championing, is a modern thing. It was never so back in the days of 'children are to be seen not heard'. This rule would have been there from the beginning and lashes of cane would have been melted to the 'offenders'.

So it's "woke" (according to you) to expect the opposite of allowing children privacy and their own decisions, and not punishing them into respecting rules and others. Very progressive. Very modern.

I think this post is really telling in that it outlines several important points and a couple of worrying matters a our our present day society.

First of all some young children do have crushes on other young class mates. Especially, if they do not have a sibling of the opposite sex. It is completely normal and is part of growing up.

I remember being about 7, and being "in love" with two Welsh twin boys who had recently joined our school.

I used to stare lovingly at them in the school playground at break times. All very innocent. But never spoke to them.

A couple of my girl friends liked them as well.

Nowadays the Woke Brigade would be in like a shot with some mumbo jumbo, half arsed reasons not to have crushes.

Also children don't seem to have much privacy. Someone stepping in and monitoring them and interfering over the slightest thing.

Please let them have their lives and own decisions so they can grow up to be happy, healthy adults

I'd this online or in person? Particularly odd if its a ban on ordinary conversation..?!

I agree and sexualised content is also very obviously a safeguarding issue. You really don’t know how far other kids have taken these discussions OP! Many children have older siblings… you should probably be thanking the school for intervening. As a teacher, we don’t intervene like this for the sake of it if there’s no issues.

Who have you heard this from? Your daughter? Are you sure she has definitely been told 'they aren't allowed to talk about it'?

Or do you think (more likely) that the teacher has given advice about appropriate conversations and the importance of respecting peoples trust and privacy?

In two minds, on one I envisage it all a bit innocent chat.
On the other hand, sometimes it can get out of hand, one group go telling others, bullying starts and accelerating difficult chat and I bet anything at least 5 parents have complained. The school just don’t need the aggro and want to promote better conversations and relationships.

If youre in the UK we dont have free speech

I think its a mistake because school just made crush chat more exciting! But tbh i wouldnt really care one way or another, there are things in life you cant say in certain environments. Dont talk in church, don't be cheeky, dont swear in front of grandma, dont speak when the teacher is, dont make inappropriate comments, speak with kindness, dont say certain contentious things at work.. I dont think its bad for them to learn sometimes you have to think about what you say if it causes upset or distraction

As a teacher - it causes lots of problems, arguments and embarrassment. Teachers should guide them to talk about friendships, not crushes. Its hardly censoring free speech.

7/8 year olds having actual crushes? What a load of BS.

Ours were told they weren't allowed to talk about it as the teachers were spending a LOT of time dealing with the fallout.They could have crushes, and boyfriends/girlfriends but they weren't to talk about it at school.

Exactly some children are so fast and forward today.
My child would have been highly confused about this in Y3. What are some kids exposed to or getting these big ideas?

It's ludicrous, isn't it. It's all coming back to me now. Being told by a girl that the year's Master Desirable - not in my eyes; I couldn't for the life of fathom the attraction - had apparently said that "he would go out with Unctuous - if she weren't so ugly". Well, whoopifuckingdoo, I was sooo flattered - NOT. 🙄🙄🙄 I retorted that I couldn't be less interested in "going out" with Lover Boy if I tried. Eleven was well old enough to see through the bullshit. And actually the only boy that I might have thought "nice looking" was a Stuart Adamson lookalike who was a genuinely pleasant lad, friendly to everyone, not an arrogant sod who inexplicably fancied himself. I was glad to leave that school and all that nonsense behind.

Free speech is a total red herring. There are masses of sensible restrictions on what’s appropriate to talk about in class. You wouldn’t give carte blanche to bullying speech or sectarian speech at a school. Why should this be different?

Presumably the teacher thought it was a distraction or that certain children were getting upset. I think it’s the job of a teacher to intervene where appropriate to restore calm and confidence.

Incidentally year 3 children having “crushes” is ridiculous. They don’t know what a crush means so either they have been watching social media or older siblings have been filling their heads with this nonsense.

I am with the teacher.

I’d be quite happy with this as some parents like to push the girlfriend/boyfriend stuff and others don’t. Some were giving valentine’s gifts in year 1. All a bit much.

I think it saves embarrassment a lot later, so probably a good thing. Most people would not want to be reminded of who they had crush on at that age.

Also, I was with you OP at first but upon reading all the posts, I believe it's fine for them to announce it and I understand why they took that step.

I actually think the school making that rule is better than a teacher saying I don't want to hear it anymore.

The latter is the teacher removing themselves from it but it could still be happening behind the scene; the victims will still be the victims but with nowhere to go to report because the teacher doesn't want to hear of it anymore.

The former is the school actually safeguarding the victims and any potential victims of this sort of conversation and behaviour spilling over into something wild. It stops the abusers more so.

I do have to say that banning things never completely bans it because people will always find a way to do what they've been told not to do, let alone told not to say. However, it's better if they can't freely torment others with it anymore and will officially get in trouble if they do.

This nonsense started in nursery. One little chap had three girlfriends who all loved him dearly. I did remember thinking he’d possibly peaked too soon.

When I was at primary in the 90s, we definitely had crushes, played catchy kissy (obviously that was of it's time) and had 'marriage' ceremonies. It was very innocent, mine was a very small Catholic school. Maybe it's different today because kids are more aware generally but some of it is just kids role playing what they see in the world around and exploring with their peers.

I understand why you find it worrying op that school are policing whole topics (which in turn makes it more exciting and taboo). I do understand their position if it's interrupting work or upsetting some students but I'm not sure outright banning chatter is the way to go.

For those saying let kids be kids, exploring feelings and ideas with peers in a playful way is letting them learn. When kids (primary) say crush they don't mean they have sexual feelings.

This reminds me of once when I was there in my son's preschool for the morning, and I head the headmistress saying loudly "I will not have tears over colours or dresses!"

I looked round and there was a whole gaggle of little girls dressed up in beautiful princess dresses looking looking extremely irritable with each other.

I didn't have a daughter, so didn't really live in the world, but it was very very funny looking in from the outside.

I think its a good idea to be fair! "Crushes" are semi harmless but they can cause embarrassment and upset especially for those who know what it means and let's face it, kids can be cruel to each other. It's not censorship it's guidance, otherwise they learn that its ok to talk and gossip about others, and potentially make fun of others, which isn't kind and further down the line can have lasting effects on the child!

On a more lighthearted note, what's with these kids and having crushes and boyfriends! They need to concentrate more on being a kid. I work as a sports coach, predominantly coaching kids, and most of the girls from ages 5 to 11 have told me about their crush or boyfriend , and ive told them they are too young 😆 the 11 year olds, ok i get, but the 5 year olds...I had a girl tell me last week that this boy in her class is the love of her life, shes 6! Where is she getting this! When I was 6, I had no idea!

Haven't they just! I remember other children talking about who was going out with whom when I was in the last year of primary school, and thinking how stupid and ridiculous it was, as we were only eleven or so, so why would anyone be interested in that stuff; I was too busy just being a kid! and having a mega crush on Nick Rhodes 😳

Good for the school, they presumably wouldn’t have made this decision without good reason, most likely that these “private chats” aren’t staying private and are causing upset / embarrassment / unnecessary drama which needs to be stopped.