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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband just told me I should be grateful he's loading the dishwasher!

29 replies

IshebeingadickoramI · 02/10/2025 20:19

I made dinner and the plates were left on the side. I was hanging up the washing so said to him can he load the dishwasher.

I glanced over and saw he was loading it haphazardly and commented he needed to stack it differently. He then told me, and I quote: "you should be grateful I'm loading the dishwasher at all"

I made the dinner that we both ate and was hanging up our washing, yet somehow I should be grateful that he is clearing up from the dinner he didn't make, in the house he lives in!

I'm so cross but need to know AIBU? Also need some comments to throw back to him in response, as I then stormed off!!

OP posts:
BCBird · 02/10/2025 20:31

Tryingatleast · 02/10/2025 20:29

Answer would have been sorry I thought you lived here too!’

Exactly

Zanatdy · 02/10/2025 20:30

Why are you even questioning if you’re being unreasonable? Absolutely not. Just done an empowering women in leadership course and would a man even question if he was unreasonable in reverse situation? He is totally out of order.

Tryingatleast · 02/10/2025 20:29

Answer would have been sorry I thought you lived here too!’

Mumptynumpty · 02/10/2025 20:21

I think this points to broader issues with respect and equality in your relationship.

Bugger the dishwasher and his weaponised incompetence and learned helplessness.