Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

Who allows it? Mummy or daddy? In all seriousness, wtf, you’re an adult right?

Woah, you are asked to turn your phone off? Why? Do they not trust you to be an adult and manage looking at it? I’m sorry if that’s the case.

I don't think the boss is unprofessional here. Most professionals know you don't scroll to check personal messages on your phone in a meeting - there's a reason that in a lot of meeting/conference situations everyone is asked to turn their phones off, so I don't think it's out of order to mention it publicly. I suspect it's not the first time. Perhaps it's been winding them up for a while.

So I think it's absurd for the OP to say they "pulled the boss up on it". They pulled OP up. Rightly so, imo. It comes across as rude and not understanding what most people would view as professional meeting etiquette, which is for the benefit of everybody.

Oh, and no, I don't "think it's the 80s". It depends on the type of meeting, doesn't it? If everyone's on their laptops that's one thing, but it's clearly not the type of meeting or environment here.

YABU for the (They don’t have kids) comment

Nope. I’m allowed my phone in a meeting in case of a kid emergency but no way do I look at it for messages- those are never urgent and usually rubbish that can wait

I'd duck out, school calling, any normal human being would understand as it could be an emergency. Worked in corporate all my life and that's fine ( unless it always happens).

What do you mean you ‘HAVE to put a workplace phone number’. My office (600+ people) just doesn’t have one. We all use our mobiles.

I’m thankful to be in a job im not attached to my phone.

honestly, after this thread? I’m fucking thankful to be in a job where I’m treated like an adult, capable of managing my own attention span in a meeting and my own workload. I didn’t realise so many were still treated like they’re still at school! It’s blown my mind.

(not, surgeons! Surgeons!)

Ah, my fault for not reading properly although I guess it proves the point that it’s really not the done thing, to the extent that I just assumed it must have been an online meeting.

I disagree it’s rude and distracting

and her boss didn’t say it was rude and distracting. In fact instead of using his words and addressing his concerns appropriately he snapped at the OP in an attempt to get her to fall into line which is pretty shoddy management.

He then compounded matters by his admission he’d spoken to her like that in an attempt to get others to fall into line.

I suspect the reason why the boss didn’t address OPs behaviour calmly without an audience is because he doesn’t actually have a good reason for the Op not to periodically check her phone

Let me guess, the other colleagues doing it are male, and jumped on the one woman. Yes it’s rude to look at your phone in a meeting, but he should have set expectations at the start of the meeting, not made an example of you in public. I’d have challenged him on that too particularly if he hadn’t challenged others doing the same.

If it was a real school emergency (child’s smashed his head open, throwing up everywhere etc), there is no way they would send a message. Her phone would have been ringing several times before they moved onto the next contact to call. You have to put a workplace phone number on the form (so if its just a mobile, in an actual emergency, you would definitely know about it).

Healthcare and ive never seen the highest level managers check a message in a meeting. In my opinion its rude and did the manager not already say he was against it?

I’m thankful to be in a job im not attached to my phone. I dont need to know my childs housepoints or when home clothes day is during work time…we’re too busy doing our actual job.

Op was at an in person meeting….

You wouldn’t check your phone sitting round a table at an in-person meeting, and the same rules should apply online. It’s really unprofessional.

We don’t even have a main reception number. I think many people work in antiquated little suburban companies where modern habits are something to be feared.

or of course, they’re….surgeons! Surgeons!

Ive got kids in secondary and primary and never had an emergency message (must have got lucky there!). If the child was suddenly throwing up/had an accident, they would have a second, third, forth contact number (I remember doing the form) and a workplace number aswell.

If it was an actual emergency from the school, I would have excused myself. Presume they would have rung the first contact several times if it was highly urgent though?

I work in corporate, I suspect most of the people in this comments section don't. YANBU everyone is corporate is always checking something on their phone, including senior people. Everyone is oh so important with important business to conduct 24 hours a day, or at least that's how they act. Corporate is misogynistic and they like to reinforce the hierarchy, and I think this is more to do with that than you touching your phone.

If someone urgently needed to get hold of you, presume they would ring your workplace

Haha, we haven't had landlines in our offices for about ten years. Everyone's hot desking, moving around various sites, or at home. Where are you lot all working? Wernham Hogg?

They could try main reception I suppose. Although they wouldn't have a clue where I was and would just ring me - on my mobile 😊

Sigh….surgeon, surgeon!!!

Why? Articulate your last point?

We all do, and I work in a high paid role in a hugely successful company.

You were at work. Your phone should have been away in your bag/briefcase/locker, and on silent. I don't know why you would even take it out during a meeting. It's nothing to do with being a parent - do you think a surgeon has their phone out during an operation, or a teacher in the classroom? Just take some responsibility.

What? Where did you get that from?! Was I all, ‘yay, office jobs over child brain surgeons’ or something?

I would never take my phone into a meeting (its not required for my job so stays in my bag at work). Will check it when I make a coffee (by check I mean glance at it to check no urgent phone calls about the kids). If someone urgently needed to get hold of you, presume they would ring your workplace if they couldn’t reach you on your mobile?

No one should be checking phones in meetings unless you need them as part of your job.

Oh abso-fucking-lately

Unfortunately a lot of people are in jobs where they have no agency or say, and they tend to be the ones who argue against others having the same respect. I guess like a race to the bottom. If you can’t have something you’re jealous of those who do.

(again this is NOT referring to jobs where it’s dangerous to be on a phone…sigh)

I don't think you're in the wrong, OP. I'm surprised how regimented many PP's workplaces appear to be: I'm imagining them all sitting up straight around a massive boardroom table with their hands in their laps, listening to the elderly chairman holding court and waiting for their turn to get shouted at, like the downtrodden dad in an 80s American comedy movie. (Is this really how things are widely done now?!)

My experience across a number of roles and companies in the present day is very different. There's a varied mixture of people all with laptops open in front of them as well as probably one or two other devices, probably at least one or two appearing remotely, everyone with half an eye on their screens, checking messages, looking up information, opening files, all done around listening and contributing to the discussion.

Bosses don't view this as anything unusual, and see us as busy professionals with many plates spinning and trust us to prioritise and attend to all matters as we see fit - and to get the jobs done (which we do). I've certainly never known one to chide someone like a naughty child in front of everybody.