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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to kill a colleague?

64 replies

Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 14:26

I was asked by a colleague,on Monday, for a time to have a call and quick discussion. I emailed my availability.

I got a reply on Tuesday, asking for a time I said I was on another call. I gave my availability for the whole week.

There is a time difference which sometimes causes von, so I was very clear that all times were his time.

Wednesday, I get "Now works for me, are you free?". No I was not, it was a time I had blocked out to be on another call. This happened twice.

This morning it happened again. Each time I replied specifying when I am free, when I am not free. Tomorrow I am generally free most of the day, just have calls 9-11 and 1-2. He has asked to be slotted in at 10. Fuck this man. It is melting my head.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:42

FickleOcelot · 02/10/2025 15:08

Any chance he could have got your availability backwards?

I've experienced something similar before when i emailed saying I could do any times except x,y,z and they didn't read properly and promptly suggested y.

I thought so, but after the first two times, I was really clear. So now it feels deliberate, but I don't see why he would do that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:17

SprayWhiteDung · 02/10/2025 14:36

I wouldn't say that he's lazy so much as self-important and dismissive of OP's schedule and needs. If it's a good time for him, then that's assumed to be a good time for OP as well.

If he were just lazy or disorganised, he wouldn't actually get around to ever calling at all!

Show quote history

I think the dismissive thing is maybe what is most annoying. I am doing him a professional courtesy, but he either can't or won't extend me the same.

OP posts:
FickleOcelot · 02/10/2025 15:08

Any chance he could have got your availability backwards?

I've experienced something similar before when i emailed saying I could do any times except x,y,z and they didn't read properly and promptly suggested y.

Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:07

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:31

It's annoying because he is not taking the information you've presented to garner a response, subconsciously signifies hes lazy, annoying. Time for the

AS PER MY PREVIOUS EMAIL (you dimwit)

I really want to call him a dimwit!

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:07

travailtotravel · 02/10/2025 14:27

Send him.an invite? Why can't you see each other's calendars? Baffling.

An invite for what? He has not given me his availability. We have not set up a meeting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:06

travailtotravel · 02/10/2025 14:27

Send him.an invite? Why can't you see each other's calendars? Baffling.

We are each writing a chapter for a book. We have only me at a meeting for all contributors to see were there may be overlap, to avoid repetition. He is not someone I wouldshare a calendar with. Besides, Every clearly stated all my availability for the week. He has all the information my diary would show.

OP posts:
ThirdStorm · 02/10/2025 14:55

Oh this happened to me this week. Colleague asks for a call. A few of us are needed so I share my availability to be helpful even though you can see busy/free via outlook. He picks a time I'm not free. Then picks another so I say I am free if everybody else is. I swear at this point he's hoping I'll organise the call, I don't. Then he puts the call in for 30 minutes earlier than he said and is annoyed I'm late (I was away from my desk in another meeting but mindful of the planned call I had to be back in time for). Honestly, weaponised incompetence.

Darragon · 02/10/2025 14:44

Yeah I had to deal with a prat like this last week. I got so fed up. I’d spell it out in very small words and short sentences:
I gave you times when I am free. If you still wish to speak to me, please pick one and let me know. Otherwise send me an email and we can talk that way at times that suit us.

Then ignore any further suggestions for times you can’t do.

Horrace · 02/10/2025 14:40

Kill him now

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:40

SprayWhiteDung · 02/10/2025 14:36

I wouldn't say that he's lazy so much as self-important and dismissive of OP's schedule and needs. If it's a good time for him, then that's assumed to be a good time for OP as well.

If he were just lazy or disorganised, he wouldn't actually get around to ever calling at all!

Show quote history

You're right, dismissive & self absorbed is a better way of phrasing.

SprayWhiteDung · 02/10/2025 14:36

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:31

It's annoying because he is not taking the information you've presented to garner a response, subconsciously signifies hes lazy, annoying. Time for the

AS PER MY PREVIOUS EMAIL (you dimwit)

I wouldn't say that he's lazy so much as self-important and dismissive of OP's schedule and needs. If it's a good time for him, then that's assumed to be a good time for OP as well.

If he were just lazy or disorganised, he wouldn't actually get around to ever calling at all!

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:31

It's annoying because he is not taking the information you've presented to garner a response, subconsciously signifies hes lazy, annoying. Time for the

AS PER MY PREVIOUS EMAIL (you dimwit)

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 02/10/2025 14:28

I’d have stopped replying.

travailtotravel · 02/10/2025 14:27

Send him.an invite? Why can't you see each other's calendars? Baffling.