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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to kill a colleague?

64 replies

Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 14:26

I was asked by a colleague,on Monday, for a time to have a call and quick discussion. I emailed my availability.

I got a reply on Tuesday, asking for a time I said I was on another call. I gave my availability for the whole week.

There is a time difference which sometimes causes von, so I was very clear that all times were his time.

Wednesday, I get "Now works for me, are you free?". No I was not, it was a time I had blocked out to be on another call. This happened twice.

This morning it happened again. Each time I replied specifying when I am free, when I am not free. Tomorrow I am generally free most of the day, just have calls 9-11 and 1-2. He has asked to be slotted in at 10. Fuck this man. It is melting my head.

OP posts:
99bottlesofkombucha · 03/10/2025 10:15

Thundertoast · 03/10/2025 10:13

I have started saying 'could you screenshot what you are seeing in my calendar availability please, im worried there might be a problem with Outlook as i have a meeting that time, am i showing as free for you?' and it works to sort stuff like this out a TREAT. Often get an apology too.
I've learnt to be passive aggressive - i go to so much effort to accommodate other people and not cause anyone else any hassle and others just dont seem to give a shit about being professional.

I quite like this!

99bottlesofkombucha · 03/10/2025 10:15

I’d send him a note saying
dear dimwit john,
I dont understand why you’re not reading my emails, I’ve given my complete availability for the week. Those are the times I can have a call. Outside of those I can’t. I’ve copied them in again below, so please could you read them, and send an invite for one of the times I am available? If you’ve read it and none of those times work for you, I suggest you communicate that back to me instead of asking me to do a middle of the night call instead or leave a meeting I’m in to talk to you.

Thundertoast · 03/10/2025 10:13

I have started saying 'could you screenshot what you are seeing in my calendar availability please, im worried there might be a problem with Outlook as i have a meeting that time, am i showing as free for you?' and it works to sort stuff like this out a TREAT. Often get an apology too.
I've learnt to be passive aggressive - i go to so much effort to accommodate other people and not cause anyone else any hassle and others just dont seem to give a shit about being professional.

Swiftie1878 · 03/10/2025 10:13

Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:17

I think the dismissive thing is maybe what is most annoying. I am doing him a professional courtesy, but he either can't or won't extend me the same.

Show quote history

I’d just presume he doesn’t have the cognitive ability to absorb the info you’re sending him.
Just send him a Zoom/Teams invite for a time that suits you.

Dweetfidilove · 03/10/2025 10:11

What a self-important twat! ⚰️♠️

Woompund · 03/10/2025 10:09

BrightSpark10 · 03/10/2025 10:05

Someone just send an invite ?

This doesn't help if OP doesn't know his availability- there is zero chance the guy will check his calendar and if not available respond proposing a new time that OP is available. In any case he should send the invite, he has OP's availability and she doesn't have his.

BrightSpark10 · 03/10/2025 10:05

Someone just send an invite ?

Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 03/10/2025 10:03

Toomuchtooearly · 03/10/2025 06:55

All this for one conversation? 100% kill him.

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I know. I am very laid back usually, but I really don't like this guy, despite never actually having spoken to him. He is clearly a dick.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 03/10/2025 10:02

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/10/2025 00:30

"Please use an app on your phone to work out the time difference. Of course I am not available to take a call from you at 1.00 am in the morning my time. I have given you so many times when I am available during normal working hours in my country - times which would work with your normal working hours... Yet you have not yet suggested a workable time."

I am suggesting xxx time UK which for you would be xxx time US on Date.
Does that work for you or not.

Is there anyone you can report him to?

Sadly no, we are both self employed people, we just happen to be both contributing to a project.

OP posts:
Toomuchtooearly · 03/10/2025 06:55

Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:27

No and we don't need to. We just need one conversation thank fuck. But he has managed to make it a very annoying one before it has even happened.

Show quote history

All this for one conversation? 100% kill him.

DressingGown · 03/10/2025 01:21

There's not a jury in the world that would convict you. It would almost be self defence at this stage.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/10/2025 00:30

"Please use an app on your phone to work out the time difference. Of course I am not available to take a call from you at 1.00 am in the morning my time. I have given you so many times when I am available during normal working hours in my country - times which would work with your normal working hours... Yet you have not yet suggested a workable time."

I am suggesting xxx time UK which for you would be xxx time US on Date.
Does that work for you or not.

Is there anyone you can report him to?

Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 03/10/2025 00:00

I know @whatisheupto. I think it would me up so much because it feels like he is actually demeaning me. Then I wondered am I just suspicious of all men. Then he carried on and I was back to thinking he may well be a misogynistic dick.

OP posts:
whatisheupto · 02/10/2025 22:52

I mean there's a chance he's doing it on purpose, just to Lord it over you and make himself feel like the big man? He sounds awful and I can imagine him smirking at making you dance around him....

Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:35

Zempy · 02/10/2025 18:53

I don’t think you have thought this through properly.

The logistics of murdering someone so far away are tricky. If you travel, then there’s a clear evidence trail.

Have you considered anthrax by post?

Thos would be less likely to be intercepted than a letter bomb. It also saves me a journey. I like it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:34

Gizlotsmum · 02/10/2025 18:21

I would also want to kill him. However I would send him ( for the last time) times I was available rather than times I am not. It does sound like he wants you to do all the leg work but giving times you are available rather than times you are not might help his pea brain figure it out!

I gave him that first. Then I said I am available...... I am not available.........(in the middle of the night, because I am 5 hours ahead) because he was not grasping the time difference. He has asked today for 1am here despite me being really clear that I can flex up to 8pm here, so we need to be finished by 3pm his time. The man is a moron.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:27

Toomuchtooearly · 02/10/2025 18:21

Can you see each other's calendars? If so, I usually just say "my calendar is up to date, please send an invite at a time that works for you" and leave it at that. I can't be bothered with listing out availability in an email, especially as it changes quite often with meetings going in etc.

No and we don't need to. We just need one conversation thank fuck. But he has managed to make it a very annoying one before it has even happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:25

MyLimeGuide · 02/10/2025 18:14

How are you going to kill him? Poisoning his tea? Or a bit of stabbing?

He is in the US. Maybe letter bomb?

OP posts:
Zempy · 02/10/2025 18:53

I don’t think you have thought this through properly.

The logistics of murdering someone so far away are tricky. If you travel, then there’s a clear evidence trail.

Have you considered anthrax by post?

B1anche · 02/10/2025 18:29

Whenever I see a thread with a title like this, before I click on it, I always think 'Shit, I hope this isn't one of my colleagues posting about me'. Fortunately, it's not!

OP, he sounds unbearable. It would probably be best to sit him down / call him and tell him that you find it rude and disrespectful that he doesn't read your emails properly plus you don't have time to keep repeating yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

Gizlotsmum · 02/10/2025 18:21

I would also want to kill him. However I would send him ( for the last time) times I was available rather than times I am not. It does sound like he wants you to do all the leg work but giving times you are available rather than times you are not might help his pea brain figure it out!

Toomuchtooearly · 02/10/2025 18:21

Can you see each other's calendars? If so, I usually just say "my calendar is up to date, please send an invite at a time that works for you" and leave it at that. I can't be bothered with listing out availability in an email, especially as it changes quite often with meetings going in etc.

MyLimeGuide · 02/10/2025 18:14

How are you going to kill him? Poisoning his tea? Or a bit of stabbing?

Shedmistress · 02/10/2025 15:53

'I'm not sure how I can slot you in at 10 when I am on a call between 9 and 11. If you refer to my previous list of availability and use that as a guide to my availability then outside of the times I have stated I am not available, you should find some availability.'

LemondrizzleShark · 02/10/2025 15:45

Just send him a calendar invitation for a time that suits you, and stop responding.