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Original poster

Would you say this was a red flag on a date?

214 replies

Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:49

I'm so out of the loop so I have no idea.

We'd eaten in a café, I couldn't finish my food as I was full so I got the sandwich to take away.

A couple of hours later we were walking around and I got hungry again so took out my sandwich. He said let's find somewhere to sit down whilst you eat.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

There was just something that felt a bit off about him not taking no for an answer, am I reading into this?

If it were the other way round i would've not asked again after the first no.

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/10/2025 12:57

Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:53

3rd date, he wasn't eating anything just me, if he'd wanted to eat and sit down i could understand that but I'd told him I didn't need to

Show quote history

He doesnt like walking and eating girl xx

KitsyWitsy · 02/10/2025 12:57

He was probably really embarrassed at your poor manners.

KidsDoBetter · 02/10/2025 12:56

Meadowfinch · 02/10/2025 12:55

I was raised to think that 'grazing while walking" as my dm called it, was the height of bad manners.

Maybe he has the same voice in his head as I would. 😁

Me too. I can’t bear it and never do it.

Meadowfinch · 02/10/2025 12:55

I was raised to think that 'grazing while walking" as my dm called it, was the height of bad manners.

Maybe he has the same voice in his head as I would. 😁

DiscoBob · 02/10/2025 12:55

That is weird. It sounds like my mum. She's got this thing about eating in the street! She told me off for eating a pret croissant while walking in the high street with her. She literally distanced herself from me in embarrassment!

But yeah, it's fine to say 'oh, don't you want to take a seat?' or if he wanted to sit down so urgently he should have just said 'oh, I fancy stopping for a few mins, shall we find a seat?' that way you might have thought oh, he's a bit tired, I don't mind sitting down briefly. Or of course you could've still said no, let's keep walking.

gannett · 02/10/2025 12:55

I'd have probably asked him why he wasn't taking no for an answer then and there. Very odd behaviour.

I suppose the best possible explanation is he thought it would be more comfortable for you but even so, it's obviously up to you.

Did you sit down in the end?

I don't know if I'd call it a red flag, per se, but it's definitely not a good sign and I'd be thinking about whether he did anything else that could be construed as controlling, and what his general attitude was.

Brightbluesomething · 02/10/2025 12:55

You eat whilst walking around? That’s the bit I find strange. He probably did too. I would have accepted his offer to find somewhere to sit down. I don’t know why you wouldn’t.
You don’t sound compatible if you insist on walking, talking and eating on a date when there’s a more comfortable alternative.

LadyWiddiothethird · 02/10/2025 12:55

It is bad manners to eat when walking.Don’t see it as a red flag at all.

Original poster
Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:53

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/10/2025 12:52

I dunno, maybe he wasnt a fan of walking and eating

Bit intense though

How many dates in are you?

3rd date, he wasn't eating anything just me, if he'd wanted to eat and sit down i could understand that but I'd told him I didn't need to

OP posts:
Original poster
Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:53

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/10/2025 12:52

I dunno, maybe he wasnt a fan of walking and eating

Bit intense though

How many dates in are you?

3rd date, he wasn't eating anything just me, if he'd wanted to eat and sit down i could understand that but I'd told him I didn't need to

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 02/10/2025 12:53

I think it’s more just personal / cultural difference. I was raised to see eating as you walk or in the street as being a bit bad mannered / uncouth. I still don’t do it, and whilst I wouldn’t insist somebody I was with sat down to eat if they didn’t want to, I’d wince a bit inside. Whether you want to see a mismatch like this as meaning you aren’t likely to be compatible in other areas is up to you, though.

MummyDummyNow · 02/10/2025 12:53

The red flag for me would have been for the person walking around eating a sandwich. It’s not really good manners to walk along eating.

Original poster
Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:53

I just think if I want to walk and eat that's up to me and he didn't need to insist 3 times.

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/10/2025 12:52

I dunno, maybe he wasnt a fan of walking and eating

Bit intense though

How many dates in are you?