Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say this was a red flag on a date?

214 replies

Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:49

I'm so out of the loop so I have no idea.

We'd eaten in a café, I couldn't finish my food as I was full so I got the sandwich to take away.

A couple of hours later we were walking around and I got hungry again so took out my sandwich. He said let's find somewhere to sit down whilst you eat.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

There was just something that felt a bit off about him not taking no for an answer, am I reading into this?

If it were the other way round i would've not asked again after the first no.

OP posts:
Comtesse · 02/10/2025 14:28

Nope he was rude and bossy. I wouldn’t like that very much at all.

outerspacepotato · 02/10/2025 14:26

Walking around while eating is gross.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/10/2025 14:22

TwistedWonder · 02/10/2025 14:18

It does sound very strange for a 3rd date - tbh what I’ve read on here about the so called 3rd date rule, it’s not a sandwich that’s usually being eaten 😂

Show quote history

🙌

Ha Ha Lol GIF
toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:20

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/10/2025 12:52

I dunno, maybe he wasnt a fan of walking and eating

Bit intense though

How many dates in are you?

but he wasnt eating...

YANBU its strangely controlling, you said once you were fine, he insisted and found somewhere to sit. Some would say its nice if him, but different situation and its a different story, dismissing your opinion, orchestrating his way.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 02/10/2025 14:19

I can't even drink a coffee on the go... would spill it all down me. There is no way I could walk and eat a sandwich.. not good for digestion.

I'm with him... your the red flag (Im joking... )

TwistedWonder · 02/10/2025 14:18

BadgernTheGarden · 02/10/2025 14:16

Sounds a bit rude eating your left over sandwich on a date, did he have anything left to eat? It is difficult walking eating and presumably talking. A very odd date all round to me.

It does sound very strange for a 3rd date - tbh what I’ve read on here about the so called 3rd date rule, it’s not a sandwich that’s usually being eaten 😂

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/10/2025 14:17

Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:59

Jesus..harsh responses.. point taken! Don't think i need to add any more, I've got horrid manners and need bringing to standard. Got it

That’s a point though. He can think you’re horribly uncouth. But that means he decides not to see you again. Not that he insists on you sitting down.

I’d say it’s a red flag. Unless he has some trauma about someone who died eating and walking…

BadgernTheGarden · 02/10/2025 14:16

Sounds a bit rude eating your left over sandwich on a date, did he have anything left to eat? It is difficult walking eating and presumably talking. A very odd date all round to me.

KitsyWitsy · 02/10/2025 14:15

Terrribletwos · 02/10/2025 14:09

Why is it rude to eat whilst walking? I really don't get this. What, essentially, is rude about it?

Show quote history

It looks sloppy and unhygienic. More chance of you dropping food stuffs around. You look like you can't wait to eat at a table. It just looks slovenly, I suppose.

KitsyWitsy · 02/10/2025 14:12

SpryLilacSnake · 02/10/2025 14:07

What's bad manners about eating and walking? Does this apply to ice cream? The local park has an ice cream van and people buy one and walk along eating it all the time in summer. They don't provide seating! I had no idea this was considered bad manners. Not that it'll stop me!

No, I wouldn't say it applies to ice cream. Just stuff like sandwiches, burgers, bags of chips etc.

Terrribletwos · 02/10/2025 14:09

Toomanywaterbottles · 02/10/2025 12:59

It’s very rude to eat while walking, especially a sandwich. If it was an apple or a Twix, I’d view that a bit differently. He might have been shocked at your lack of manners and was trying to steer you in the proper way.

Why is it rude to eat whilst walking? I really don't get this. What, essentially, is rude about it?

SpryLilacSnake · 02/10/2025 14:07

What's bad manners about eating and walking? Does this apply to ice cream? The local park has an ice cream van and people buy one and walk along eating it all the time in summer. They don't provide seating! I had no idea this was considered bad manners. Not that it'll stop me!

Lanzarotelady · 02/10/2025 14:04

Margaretbaxter · 02/10/2025 12:59

Jesus..harsh responses.. point taken! Don't think i need to add any more, I've got horrid manners and need bringing to standard. Got it

Nowt like seeing your arse is there!

Worriedalltheday · 02/10/2025 14:03

MummyDummyNow · 02/10/2025 12:53

The red flag for me would have been for the person walking around eating a sandwich. It’s not really good manners to walk along eating.

This, I would have been embarrassed walking with you. Bad manners, food falling, you faffing around looking for something to wipe your mouth.

Growlybear83 · 02/10/2025 14:03

I agree with other posters that it’s really bad manners to eat while you’re walking and he was probably embarrassed by your behaviour.

Sartre · 02/10/2025 14:00

I think it’s a cultural thing. I know in Japan you’re an absolute heathen if you eat on the go but I’d say it’s pretty normal in the UK, especially in busy cities.

BunnyLake · 02/10/2025 13:58

Contraryjane · 02/10/2025 12:58

You were the red flag to him

Ha yes.

I think I’d be put off by your pointless insistence on walking while eating.

stargirl27 · 02/10/2025 13:50

KitsyWitsy · 02/10/2025 13:36

I don't think people (or me) are missing the point. She asked if it was a red flag that he asked her three times to sit down when she was walking the streets eating a sandwich. People are just rightly pointing out to her, that her behaviour was uncouth and embarrassing to the man. Yeah, it's not the worst thing ever and he over did it asking her three times but no; it's not a red flag.

Show quote history

You cannot say people are 'rightly' pointing something out which is a matter of opinion, you are also quite assuming that the man found it embarrassing.

Ragamuffin8 · 02/10/2025 13:41

MummyDummyNow · 02/10/2025 12:53

The red flag for me would have been for the person walking around eating a sandwich. It’s not really good manners to walk along eating.

This.

Catwalking · 02/10/2025 13:39

Old fashioned etiquette thing?
When dumped in boarding sch. age 9 (60yr ago), 1 of the new rules was; Never eat in the street. Why? It’s ’Common’.
So I would say do as you wish ie eat where you like, if he doesn’t like it, in my book he must lump it… I would have stayed standing whilst he sat tbh! hope you had a nice snack 😊.

KitsyWitsy · 02/10/2025 13:36

stargirl27 · 02/10/2025 13:27

Yep - surprise surprise the people of MN missing the point yet again. Not once did OP ask for opinions on eating whilst walking!

Show quote history

I don't think people (or me) are missing the point. She asked if it was a red flag that he asked her three times to sit down when she was walking the streets eating a sandwich. People are just rightly pointing out to her, that her behaviour was uncouth and embarrassing to the man. Yeah, it's not the worst thing ever and he over did it asking her three times but no; it's not a red flag.

theresnolimits · 02/10/2025 13:35

If I was on a date with someone who wanted to walk whilst chowing down on a sandwich, that would be a red flag for me. Be interesting to see if he contacts you.

Fiftyandme · 02/10/2025 13:28

Red flag for me. He wouldn’t listen to you wanted you do do it his way.

stargirl27 · 02/10/2025 13:27

ClareBlue · 02/10/2025 13:25

The issue is not about eating food on the go. It's about being told 3 times not to do it as an adult making your own choices by someone you have met 3 times.

Yep - surprise surprise the people of MN missing the point yet again. Not once did OP ask for opinions on eating whilst walking!

ClareBlue · 02/10/2025 13:25

The issue is not about eating food on the go. It's about being told 3 times not to do it as an adult making your own choices by someone you have met 3 times.

Swipe left for the next trending thread