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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who is in the wrong here. 16 hour argument.

315 replies

zebraprintxmasdinner · 02/10/2025 11:26

Please someone give me some clarity as my mother is draining me and been carrying on this disagreement for 16 hours.

Bus strikes in local area, mum has to get to work for 8:30am, my partner has a car but had a GP apt at 9am, I text my mum and said I will get her an uber to work save her walking as she is 67, she refused plenty of times so I just left it. She couldn’t have had a lift off my partner as he needed to leave for his gp apt.

She has been in a foul mood with me, saying how hard work it was to walk, I said she should’ve took my offer of an uber, she responds with a tirade of how she wasn’t even offered a lift off me, she does me favours all the time etc etc and how her friend at work would’ve gave a lift if she had known.

This has been going on since yesterday. Please can someone clarify if I am the Arsehole of the year or not.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 02/10/2025 11:34

I would have probably taken her to work but earlier than usual

Aquickturn81 · 02/10/2025 11:33

zebraprintxmasdinner · 02/10/2025 11:33

She won’t ask anyone for anything but will moan at me for not moving heaven and earth
She got to work but I won’t hear the end of this

Lovely!

what favours does she do for you?

Original poster
zebraprintxmasdinner · 02/10/2025 11:33

She won’t ask anyone for anything but will moan at me for not moving heaven and earth
She got to work but I won’t hear the end of this

OP posts:
Aquickturn81 · 02/10/2025 11:32

Did she get to work??

lazyarse123 · 02/10/2025 11:32

Mum is in the wrong. You offered a solution she refused end of. If she knew a colleague would have given her a lift she should have asked them.

Original poster
zebraprintxmasdinner · 02/10/2025 11:32

No she has no issue with using taxis

OP posts:
Original poster
zebraprintxmasdinner · 02/10/2025 11:31

Offered the uber re impending strikes last week then reminded her every day up until yesterday
Did make her aware of GP apt
I can’t drive myself
We both help eachother out, but she has habit for this sort of shit acting a martyr

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 02/10/2025 11:30

Do you own a car? If not I don't know how she expects you to give her lifts. Presumably you explained the situation with DP and his GP appointment. So clearly she was aware it was uber or nothing.

Does she have an issue with using taxis?

Tell her again you had no means of giving her a lift and she refused the Uber. And that you won't discuss it anymore or fall out over it.

bluecampbell · 02/10/2025 11:30

You are not the arsehole here. You offered her a good alternative (Uber) and she refused. She made the decision to walk and thus doesn’t have the right to complain about it. She also had ample time to tell her friend and ask for a lift given she had enough time to refuse you multiple times.

ShesTheAlbatross · 02/10/2025 11:30

Why can this grown woman not get herself an uber?

Aquickturn81 · 02/10/2025 11:30

She refers to all the favours she does for you..,, interesting

PraisebetoGod · 02/10/2025 11:29

You wanted to help by offering an uber. I'm assuming you don't drive. Without having your mums side it is hard to say but on the face of it yanbu

Swiftie1878 · 02/10/2025 11:29

From your POV you’ve done nothing wrong, but it really depends how good your communication was with your DM.
Did she know about the GP appointment?
Did she know you were offering an Uber because you couldn’t offer a lift?
When did you communicate everything to her? Was it last minute?

Aquickturn81 · 02/10/2025 11:29

This foul mood… all virtual presumably? You don’t live together?

StormInaDcup99 · 02/10/2025 11:29

On the face of it I'd say you're mum is unreasonable but can you clarify why you didn't offer to give her a lift?