Child ran away from DS

Massively overthinking this one op

Honestly as a parent of an ASD and ADHD child, you are going to have to grow much thicker skin because the road ahead is full of fighting just so your child can get half a chance. I wouldn’t pay any attention and just ignore it, if it continues to bother you ask the other parent if there is a problem and a reason why he is looking at you in that way.

Well it could be a million things. Maybe she is an anxtious child, maybe she doesnt like boys, there could be loads of reasons. Therefore, I wouldnt worry about it unless you hear otherwise.

I've been in a similar situation, it's so sad. My little boy is autistic and very limited speech, he goes to children at the park with a big smile on his face and makes sounds. This is him wanting to play, younger children are fine but some of the ones his age are older look at him like he has 10 heads and I've had one run away from him. Some parents are great, some also give him a funny look, 1 has led their child away. We've started going to SEN groups and it's such a different experience, all the children play nicely alongside each other, no judgement from parents. It shouldn't be that way, disabled children should be accepted everywhere but unfortunately they're not.

My reception DD hides behind my legs whenever she sees anyone from her class on the walk up. You're overthinking

Are you sure it was a dirty look? He could have just been talking in a mood? Some people have grumpy faces!

I think you're over reacting, Kids that young are not always happy with that sort of thing.

My daughter at that age hid behind me whenever we ran into anyone even children she liked. She didn’t like her friends to come and say hello. She wanted to go to them when she was ready to play. It may be about her.

Maybe she was just scared of getting into trouble with her dad if she ran ahead, too? Most people insist their children stay close/hold a hand on the school run to avoid the risk of running in the road etc. [I am a parent and ex child minder - children always required to walk close/hold hands and not run off/at all].

The dirty look from dad may have simply been judgement that you didn’t have your child under control and that it undermined his efforts with his child?

What you saw may be more about the dad and his child than you and your child. Up to you how your parent your child, so you need to learn to shrug off encounters like that.

Maybe she’s shy and weird about meeting non-school friends outside of school - DS was definitely weirded out by seeing nursery teachers out of context and used to hide from them out of embarrassment (was fine with them in the actual nursery).

It’s totally impossible to say, as others have said a quiet word with the teacher should uncover if there are any problems.

I would have done this myself as a child, for sure. It doesn't mean that particular child would have done anything to me.

If you're concerned about how he's doing with the other children generally, for sure a conversation with the teacher would put your mind at rest.

You dont know what look the parent gave you, thry may habe had a million things on their mind to be bothered to give you any look specifically

You know only what you have made up in your head about them

I think you're reading far too much into it. Maybe she's shy or was startled by him running up behind her or maybe she was messing about...who knows. Maybe the dad was just caught by surprise or maybe he's just got a resting 'dirty look' face or maybe he was having a difficult morning...could be anything.

My DS is 7 now and exactly like this! He's got plenty of friends and is fine in the classroom, but if he sees someone he knows out of the normal school context he tries desperately to hide. He'd get back inside me if he could!

Once we were waiting in the office for his older sister to come out of her club, and his teacher - the one he'd just spent several hours with and absolutely adored - came out and said hello to him on her way past. He immediately hid behind me and wouldn't say a word!

I understand why you'd feel like this but try not to worry. If it helps, DD also sometimes does this when DS runs towards her. Sometimes she'll laugh and find it exciting and join in, others she'll run away crying to hide. Fairly normal and just depends on their moods, no ASD and DS isn't particularly boisterous. They love each other and she's not scared of him whatsoever, she just doesn't like high energy near her when she's not ready for it.

It is more likely to just be how the girl felt in that moment than a general issue with your son or how he is in the class.

its understandable you took it personally, but it's highly unlikely to be. Xx

My granddaughter is a very nervous child and she would automatically hide from someone running towards her, no matter who it was.

I'd ask the teacher if all was okay and mention what happened and ask them to keep an eye on things but otherwise I'd not let it worry me as a one off thing.

You’re going to have to ignore it and it’s going to be a long road. When my asd ds was about 5, a mum quite blatantly went into school and said my ds was basically a piece of shit and was to be kept away from hers at all time and she never spoke to me again. 15 years later - let’s just say she was very, very wrong.

I have a child the same age and she often blanks classmates or runs away from them when she sees them outside the context of her classroom eg the walk to school or in the supermarket. The teacher commented on how it's really common for them to do that to teachers too (which I've also noticed). When my dd is in the classroom, she’ll be playing and chatting away, so it's not a true reflection of how she feels about her classmates. She's not alone either, I've seen others in her class behave similarly to her too, but as soon as they get to class they are off playing together!

FWIW I never allowed my kids to hide behind me. I used to tell them 'that's what dogs do. We express nervousness in different ways as humans, by using our words and this just looks rude'.

I wouldn't assume it's anything personal about your child. My child at that age ran behind my legs and hid if he ever saw another child they knew - whether on the way to school or in the supermarket or park. Even if it was a child he was friendly with. He is naturally shy and likes time to 'warm up' to social interactions - so happy to play with others in classroom throughout day, but stressed if he suddenly sees someone. Children would say 'Hi Ben' and he would put his head down, hide behind me and ignore them. Now he's a little older he's much better but still won't initiate saying hello! It doesn't mean he doesn't like the child or doesn't want to play.

My youngest has just started school and there are other children in his class who are incredibly nervous/anxious. It's actually a bit of nightmare getting him into class in the morning as there's so many little kids crying or needing hugs/reassurance/cajoling from parents to go. He may have just shocked her as she wasnt expecting someone to run past. My older son is autistic and by this point having started reception we had been called into school multiple times and had even more phonecalls home as he was causing chaos (he was not diagnosed at the time). Have you got a parents evening coming up? If not maybe you could have a quick word with teacher to see how's he's settled in, but I would've thought they would've let you know if there was any real problems.

My DD doesn’t much like the ASD child in her class. She’s very much a rule follower and loves school. The little boy with ASD can’t manage carpet time, runs around when the others are quiet etc and is largely non verbal. He can be quite energetic and that can be intimidating for some kids. She is perfectly kind to him but I’ll be honest and say that she finds it quite hard to be around and she won’t play with him. If he ran up to her on the walk to school she would also hide.

We talk about differences and including everyone (he was invited to her party etc) but I also see that from her point of view he makes her uncomfortable.

I don’t give the parent dirty looks though, I feel for them as it must be very challenging at times.

Sorry @Orangedreams I just wanted to share an honest point of view.