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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for being mad at my little sister for telling three hoodies where she's from when they asked her "You from around here?"?

115 replies

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 04:20

My little sis is 23 and does vlogs when she goes out because it's her hobby.

A few days ago I found a new video where she was out shopping, alone, and three white males, all capped, hooded and around her age, approach her to talk to her.

In the video one of them asks her if she's from around here, the other two are like "yeah where are you from" while squinting a little when they asked, and she mentioned the street she lives on.

She began to have a friendly conversation with them after and thankfully nothing happened to her. We live on a small street so I'm freaking out.

For those who are unaware, I'm worried this might've been g checking which from what I've looked into is asked with malicious intentions.

Told her they probably went easy on her because they assumed she was one of them/in their gang because she wears a full track suit to stay warm (she's got circulation issues) but she really should not have answered that question or at least gave a bs answer.

Am I overreacting? I'm her older sis we live together and I'm worried and can't sleep because I'm worrying over this so much

OP posts:
Notthatgameagain · 02/10/2025 08:04

FlumpUp · 02/10/2025 04:28

Why do you need to point out they were white?

Because she is describing them ? Why did she say there were 3 of them, why mention what they were wearing, that they were our shopping, that they were male ?? Maybe she should have said a unknown number of life forms approached my family member of which their gender will not be disclosed, then everyone would be happy 🙄
OP of course you should be annoyed at her..it's very irresponsible to let a stranger know where you live.

Okrr · 02/10/2025 07:57

Your friend that got beaten up was a male. I can see postcode wars affecting males. These guys were likely being friendly or wanted to chat her up.

This wannabe gang culture is truly pathetic. What losers. Hopefully they grow out of it and don’t let a criminal record blight the rest of their life.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:56

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:53

Can you move? It doesn’t sound especially safe op.

I've considered it, but she doesn't want to move.

The "hoodie" culture here is really bad, has been for decades.

People normally cross the street or stay away from groups of men wearing full sporty track suits, baseball caps and trainers with bubbles in them.

You can't really go out anywhere without spotting at least a few every time.

People who have left this city or visited it mention it as being the worst thing about it wondering why these types of people are everywhere.

They are basically gangsters with a weird dress sense/uniform.

OP posts:
Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:53

Can you move? It doesn’t sound especially safe op.

Rewis · 02/10/2025 07:51

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:16

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

Where in the UK is so warm that sleeves can be considered overdressing?

Rewis · 02/10/2025 07:46

What are you supposed to do? If you don't say where you live they will beat you. You lie and accidentally say a 'wrong' place? They best you. You lie and say 'right' place and they think you're lying and will beat you. So either you trust that you're a good liar or you tell the truth?

user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:45

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:16

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

It's 🥶 where I am in the UK. Tracksuit definitely needed - then some!

CrowMate · 02/10/2025 07:44

The problem is, if this was a threatening situation, not giving an answer would have led to escalation.

Perhaps now the focus should be on what you / your sister could do should a situation like this arise again?

GoldThumb · 02/10/2025 07:42

You said she was vlogging?

They might have been checking she didn’t have them on camera doing something they shouldn’t have.

G checking is definitely a thing, and has been since I was in school (I’m late 30s)

The thing is, if she hadn’t said where she lived, they might have got aggressive or something.

I’m sure nothing will come of it now, maybe she just panicked.
A bit like when a man you’re not interested in chats you up, and you might smile him off so he doesn’t turn aggressive.

user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:41

Some folk on this forum have lived really sheltered lives😂

Greysowhat · 02/10/2025 07:40

FlumpUp · 02/10/2025 04:28

Why do you need to point out they were white?

Before people jumped to the prejudiced conclusion that they were other than white. What's the problem with specifying that they were white???

user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:39

Luxio · 02/10/2025 06:13

It seems incredibly unlikely that gangs of hoodied youths are randomly attacking people simply because they aren't saying where they are from in broad daylight.

I would wonder if your friend was actually part of a rival gang and that is what led to his assault.

It's a thing! Yes, it does happen in some areas. If you say the "wrong" place you pay the price.

user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:37

DS was approached by a group like the Young Teams when out with college friends a few days ago. He says nothing as it's not safe. One was carrying a switch blade. Your Sis sounds like she dodged a bullet. She needs to say nothing next time.

Reminds me vaguely of the Casual Movement of the 80/90s.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:36

Linenpickle · 02/10/2025 07:33

Your sister should definitely take that video down because she should not be telling people where she lives because that is quite frankly just absolutely moronic of her to do so. She’s clearly too immature to be doing what she’s doing. there could be some weirdo who gets some session with her and comes looking for her now. However, you are being very wrong to point out the colour of these people cause it shouldn’t matter.

I have told her this and she deleted the video but I fear the damage has already been done

OP posts:
Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:36

tripleginandtonic · 02/10/2025 07:30

Maybe they were just bored and being friendly? And moat young people wear goodies but they're not all violent or in gangs. Yabu.

It's not just hoodies (the clothes) though.

It's full track suits of sporty brands, baseball caps and trainers that have those little bubbles in them.

People generally steer clear or cross the street when they see a group of men dressed like this

OP posts:
Linenpickle · 02/10/2025 07:33

Your sister should definitely take that video down because she should not be telling people where she lives because that is quite frankly just absolutely moronic of her to do so. She’s clearly too immature to be doing what she’s doing. there could be some weirdo who gets some session with her and comes looking for her now. However, you are being very wrong to point out the colour of these people cause it shouldn’t matter.

RampantIvy · 02/10/2025 07:30

Just found this list of the UK's most dangerous cities

AIBU for being mad at my little sister for telling three hoodies where she's from when they asked her "You from around here?"?
tripleginandtonic · 02/10/2025 07:30

Maybe they were just bored and being friendly? And moat young people wear goodies but they're not all violent or in gangs. Yabu.

RampantIvy · 02/10/2025 07:26

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:16

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

Erm, not everywhere. Yesterday was mild, but not "very warm". Certainly jacket weather when out and about.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:21

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:14

Where on earth do you live? I have never heard of this. Maybe they were interested in her video? You sound very guarded op.

Show quote history

West Mids, one of the most dangerous areas of it.

Not going to get any more specific than that though.

OP posts:
FrauPaige · 02/10/2025 07:16

pinkstripeycat · 02/10/2025 06:57

It’s not a usual thing in the UK at all. My DH has been a police officer for 19 years across Essex, Suffolk and the midlands and when I mentioned it to him he said it would only happen in areas where there is an ongoing turf war which crop up and fade away. They’d only target people they thought were in a rival gang. OP might have this in her area but it’s NOT usual.

i have 2 DC and nothing like this has ever happened to them in our town or where they are both living up north. I also don’t see random lads hanging around talking to strangers.

Also at 23 I wouldn’t chat to randoms. I was in a professional job and mixed with adults. The sister is acting like a young teenager.

Edited

Your husband confirms that in his experience in Essex, Suffolk, and the Midlands this happens.

Does he work in a regional organised crime unit specialising in this?

I'm delighted that neither you nor your sons live in areas of dysfunction.

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:16

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:14

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 06:15

He wasn't in any gang.

He was walking to the shop and a group of hooded young men approached him, asked him where he was from

when he said where, they gave him a concussion

these hooded baseball capped youths are famous for doing this kind of thing to random people, at least in the UK

Edited
Show quote history

Where on earth do you live? I have never heard of this. Maybe they were interested in her video? You sound very guarded op.

Chiaseedling · 02/10/2025 07:13

I’ve never heard of this and I live in London. There are plenty of roadmen about - they like stealing phones and smashing shop windows.

id advise your sister to cross the road from approaching hoodie types in future. As for the tracksuit attire, does she have Raynaud’s cos there are other solutions to keep warm.

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