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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for being mad at my little sister for telling three hoodies where she's from when they asked her "You from around here?"?

115 replies

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 04:20

My little sis is 23 and does vlogs when she goes out because it's her hobby.

A few days ago I found a new video where she was out shopping, alone, and three white males, all capped, hooded and around her age, approach her to talk to her.

In the video one of them asks her if she's from around here, the other two are like "yeah where are you from" while squinting a little when they asked, and she mentioned the street she lives on.

She began to have a friendly conversation with them after and thankfully nothing happened to her. We live on a small street so I'm freaking out.

For those who are unaware, I'm worried this might've been g checking which from what I've looked into is asked with malicious intentions.

Told her they probably went easy on her because they assumed she was one of them/in their gang because she wears a full track suit to stay warm (she's got circulation issues) but she really should not have answered that question or at least gave a bs answer.

Am I overreacting? I'm her older sis we live together and I'm worried and can't sleep because I'm worrying over this so much

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 02/10/2025 09:22

tripleginandtonic · 02/10/2025 07:30

Maybe they were just bored and being friendly? And moat young people wear goodies but they're not all violent or in gangs. Yabu.

If this is a serious comment then it comes from the privilege of living somewhere safe where this kind of thing isn't endemic. OPs description of the clothing and the actions / tone of these people shows that tbey aren't just normal friendly teens looking for new mates.

rainbowunicorn · 02/10/2025 09:14

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:16

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

OP says it was a few days ago she found the video. A few days ago where I live was freezing. As in there was frost on the car when I left for work.

Jewelsss · 02/10/2025 09:08

I think in this area it would be sensible to not go out alone in this area. Especially as a lone woman. I assumed this happen in the day, which probably means this are worse after dark.

2boyzNosleep · 02/10/2025 09:02

Very kindly OP, what did you want her to do in that situation?

You keep responding to PP who are very sheltered and cant seem to believe that gang culture/country lines is as bad as it is.

Yet you are ignoring all the PP who have stated that if she didnt answer or gave a different street she may have been attacked. So yes, YABU to be angry with your sister and expecting her to not do her vlogs/go out.

Your concerns are valid.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:51

Finteq · 02/10/2025 08:49

So she hasn't just told 3 guys.

But the whole of the Internet where she lives???

Show quote history

She posted them privately ie only friends and family with the link to her profile can see them. It's a hobby/theraputic thing for her to be able to look back on them

OP posts:
Finteq · 02/10/2025 08:49

SALaw · 02/10/2025 04:35

I’d be more concerned that she kept this information in a vlog, presumably posted on the internet.

So she hasn't just told 3 guys.

But the whole of the Internet where she lives???

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:40

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:29

I've told her this, she shrugged and says she'll continue vlogging because it's her money and it's what she wants to do.

This city has always been so bad for this since the mid 2000s. I'm partially used to it.

You don't go to the shop on your own if it's getting dark out, not even the one a 10 minute walk away.

You avoid walking through parks in the evening, early morning or at night. These people like to loiter in parks so they can attack people walking past.

I feel like it has gotten slightly worse since COVID.

Show quote history

You do have choices op. You don’t have to stay there.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:36

ramron · 02/10/2025 08:35

Why the deal about them squinting? Maybe they need glasses and they’re too G to admit to it

They started squinting when the "You from around here?" question came up

It came across as them being suspicious

They also asked it in a suddenly monotone voice, different from the voice before.

OP posts:
ramron · 02/10/2025 08:35

Why the deal about them squinting? Maybe they need glasses and they’re too G to admit to it

FlyingUnicornWings · 02/10/2025 08:35

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 06:15

He wasn't in any gang.

He was walking to the shop and a group of hooded young men approached him, asked him where he was from

when he said where, they gave him a concussion

these hooded baseball capped youths are famous for doing this kind of thing to random people, at least in the UK

Edited
Show quote history

I can believe it, OP. It’s terrible what happened to your friend. I’m not surprised that because of it you’re worried about your sister.

If they were ok with her and chatting normally after she answered I’d see that as a reason to not worry.

I’d have a chat with her about being careful in future though. And, try not to tar them all (hoodies) with the same brush. Some who do dress like that mean no harm.

miserableandworried · 02/10/2025 08:30

She passed the test and didn’t get attacked. I don’t know what more you want from her? These people have probably not even given your sister a second thought since the question.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:29

ThatLemonBear · 02/10/2025 08:22

Well this thread has been an eye opener, I have led a very sheltered life. TBH OP, given what you’ve said about your location, isn’t it risky for your sister to wander around videoing herself with (I assume) an expensive smartphone? I’d be worrying about it being snatched

I've told her this, she shrugged and says she'll continue vlogging because it's her money and it's what she wants to do.

This city has always been so bad for this since the mid 2000s. I'm partially used to it.

You don't go to the shop on your own if it's getting dark out, not even the one a 10 minute walk away.

You avoid walking through parks in the evening, early morning or at night. These people like to loiter in parks so they can attack people walking past.

I feel like it has gotten slightly worse since COVID.

OP posts:
Puregoldy · 02/10/2025 08:26

At 23 she is your younger sister she isn’t little. I’m not sure why it matters what anyone was wearing or doing. Perhaps the area you live in has gangs etc? Otherwise I’m a bit confused she is 23. It sounds like a fairly normal conversation and nothing untoward has occurred. You do sound critical of her.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:25

UnintentionalArcher · 02/10/2025 08:22

What’s the ‘correct’ answer to this question? Do you have to give the name of the town, of your street? How do they know if you’re telling the truth?

Show quote history

Sometimes they're asking for just the town, other times it's the street or estate.

If you come from an area that deviates too far from theirs or they don't vibe with that area that's when they attack you

OP posts:
ThatLemonBear · 02/10/2025 08:22

Well this thread has been an eye opener, I have led a very sheltered life. TBH OP, given what you’ve said about your location, isn’t it risky for your sister to wander around videoing herself with (I assume) an expensive smartphone? I’d be worrying about it being snatched

UnintentionalArcher · 02/10/2025 08:22

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 06:15

He wasn't in any gang.

He was walking to the shop and a group of hooded young men approached him, asked him where he was from

when he said where, they gave him a concussion

these hooded baseball capped youths are famous for doing this kind of thing to random people, at least in the UK

Edited
Show quote history

What’s the ‘correct’ answer to this question? Do you have to give the name of the town, of your street? How do they know if you’re telling the truth?

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:18

Luxio · 02/10/2025 08:15

I don't think the area the OP is in is even like this. It sounds like she's making the assumption that anyone in a tracksuit is one of these people. Quite often I'm guessing those in tracksuits are just people in tracksuits, it's quite common attire for young males to be wearing.

Show quote history

I think I should've clarified sorry.

It's not just wearing a track suit.

It is the combination of all 3 of these things worn at once:

  1. sports brand track suit
  2. baseball cap
  3. those Nike trainers that have the bubbles in the soles

These are worn in a non sports setting. Even if it is very hot outside.

People know to avoid people who dress like this to the point people will cross the street if they see one or a group of them coming.

OP posts:
2boyzNosleep · 02/10/2025 08:17

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 05:09

That's what I'm saying.

It's very popular among the baseball capped hoodie crowd to ask random people "where are you from?" "you from around here?" etc

And if those people don't answer correctly they get assaulted

Had a friend who had this exact thing happen to him at 19, he didn't give a correct answer so they gave him a concussion

Show quote history

By your explanation, your sister can't do right.

Apart from not posting it online for all to see, I'm not sure what you expected her to do differently in this situation?

She was doing her vlog- they approached her. If she had walked away they may have followed/chased her.

If she had said a different street or refused to tell them, they may have attacked her.

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:16

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:15

These men were in their 20s and were loitering near a corner shop. I doubt very much that they were athletes or gym goers.

There's tons of videos of people exactly like this randomly attacking strangers

When "Happy slapping" was a thing, these were the people doing it.

Show quote history

Op I think you need to get off the internet and start meeting real people…

Luxio · 02/10/2025 08:15

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:11

I would insist you move whether your sister likes it or not. 95% of the U.K. is nothing like this! I leave my doors unlocked… and everyone is friendly and kind here. I don’t think this is a nice place to live if it’s as bad as you say it is. Leave.

Edited

I don't think the area the OP is in is even like this. It sounds like she's making the assumption that anyone in a tracksuit is one of these people. Quite often I'm guessing those in tracksuits are just people in tracksuits, it's quite common attire for young males to be wearing.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:15

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:10

I am sure at least some of them are just normal teens op. The problem with judging people on what they wear, they might be very nice people and you are assuming the worst. Maybe they are coming back from the gym? Or a run?

Show quote history

These men were in their 20s and were loitering near a corner shop. I doubt very much that they were athletes or gym goers.

There's tons of videos of people exactly like this randomly attacking strangers

When "Happy slapping" was a thing, these were the people doing it.

OP posts:
Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:11

I would insist you move whether your sister likes it or not. 95% of the U.K. is nothing like this! I leave my doors unlocked… and everyone is friendly and kind here. I don’t think this is a nice place to live if it’s as bad as you say it is. Leave.

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:10

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:56

I've considered it, but she doesn't want to move.

The "hoodie" culture here is really bad, has been for decades.

People normally cross the street or stay away from groups of men wearing full sporty track suits, baseball caps and trainers with bubbles in them.

You can't really go out anywhere without spotting at least a few every time.

People who have left this city or visited it mention it as being the worst thing about it wondering why these types of people are everywhere.

They are basically gangsters with a weird dress sense/uniform.

Edited
Show quote history

I am sure at least some of them are just normal teens op. The problem with judging people on what they wear, they might be very nice people and you are assuming the worst. Maybe they are coming back from the gym? Or a run?

Irritatingalex · 02/10/2025 08:10

FlumpUp · 02/10/2025 04:28

Why do you need to point out they were white?

Or that they were squinting a little?

wineosaurusrex · 02/10/2025 08:04

You sound really paranoid and judgemental.

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