Is fatphobia a real thing?

While obesity does increase the risk of a number of health problems, being underweight is actually more dangerous to your health than being overweight is, but people don't realise that.

Love this argument 🤣

Yes, all those millions of underweight people and their associated illnesses that put strain on the NHS.

I specifically said that it’s not about claiming that it’s worse than other abuse.

Yes, at other times, I (and other women) have had sexist abuse shouted at me, when I was not obese and more conventionally attractive. That’s different to the abuse specifically shouted at me, derogatory and hateful, just for being obese. Do thin women get derogatory abuse shouted at them in this was just for being thin? Not sexist or intimidatory due to being a woman, but specific hate for being slim?

I was obese because I overate. Nothing else to it. It’s very very easy to overeat in our society and it’s difficult to consistently manage to under eat for long enough to go from being obese back to being a healthy weight. It’s taken me 15 months and I’m still in the overweight category. No way could I have achieved that without the help of WLI, as stress, life, etc etc would have derailed me for a while and the yo-yo-ing would have happened. None of that is an “excuse”, but a simple explanation of why it is hard to lose weight.

if it was as easy as people like to make out then there wouldn’t be the levels of obesity that we see. Anyone with a tiny amount of brainpower knows that to lose weight you need to eat less and move more. Everyone knows it. Yet…..

So you were skinny shamed... surely you were skinny because of your eating habits...so why didn't you change your eating habits then that wouldn't have happened to you?

Obviously I don't actually think this....but you have basically said the same thing about overweight people haven't you?

My friend had a flatmate who had a fat phobia. She was a particularly shallow young woman in many ways. She told my pal once that she would never sit beside a fat person because they are disgusting and one of the reasons she stopped swimming was because of fat women changing in the dressing room. When they got into the pool she would immediately leave because she refused go share space with them. This was about 20 years ago and it still shocks me to think of her. My friend. who was very slim, was obviously expected to nod along and agree but she was horrified.

All women regardless of size get harassed and abused by men. I've had men drive past and make the legal sex sign at me with their mouth and hands. Women are targeted as a whole, my disgusting men. Irregardless of size and weight.

just because some of those women are fat it doesn't make it worse.

I was bullied and skinny shamed throughout my whole schooling life. From men and women. It's everywhere and it's rife.

90-95% of overweight and obese people are that weight due to eating habits. Only 5-10% are from secondary or medical reasons.

on threads like this and what I find IRL is there's always an excuse for being fat. Whether is be medication or other factors.

obesity rates now compared to 60-70-80-90s is huge. People had medical problems back then too but no where near as many people were fat.

the lack of accountability and the eagerness to blame external factors is probably what winds people up. When factually only a small % of fat people are like that due to other factors.

no one should comment on anyone's bodies ever. But the race to the bottom and the 'it's soooo much worse being fat shamed than any other bullying / comments' is so tiresome and self absorbed. (Not aimed at you, just in general from what I've experienced)

@SabrinaDontYouKnowDevin I don't know if obese people always make it a race to the bottom. What you see a lot of on threads is the claim that no one is looking at you and thinking anything bad, it's all imagined and not a real concern. So obese people post about all the times they have actually been abused in public, not that it's worse than anyone else gets, but that it is actually real and actually abusive. For example, I have had abusive comments shouted at me multiple times by men driving past in cars, because of being obese. Does that genuinely happen to slim women just for being slim?

No it isn't, if it were life would be impossible, people would die immediately they are born. Think about the logic for a minute. Death is inevitable for anyone alive but the cause of death can be numerous things.

No, definitely not.

But for any of us that grew up in the 90s we spent our childhoods having the message ruthlessly enforced that anything bigger than "heroin chic" was disgusting, that all food had a moral rating (a cupcake wasn't just bad for you body but you were a bad person for eating it) and started getting tips for weight loss from our pre-teens, all whilst having the food industry relentlessly push high-calorie and UPF filled food on us at every turn, so it's not surprising that so many people are full of self-loathing and loathing for others who represent what they are terrified of being.

I would like to say I don't judge or despise fat people, and on the whole I wouldn't say I do, but I probably pay slightly more attention to what my overweight friends eat and do sometimes silently judge, although I would like not to and know it's a failing in me, not them. It's the bias that I have been programmed with and I can unprogramme it with enough work.

I think its not necessarily about being fat hating its holding opinions that people often unintentionally express. The judgements are there and us fat people can and often do pick up in this

and it can feel at times very hostile, look at the opposition to the weight loss jabs and the constant articles in the media

we all pick up on peoples reactions, we all judge at times and have opinions that we give away without saying direct words

It's not limited to obesity though.

I posted on MN a while back about some of the aesthetic treatment I had after chemotherapy and how life changing it was for me and still is.

I got told I look like a prostitute, I have no class, that my face would look awful and no work can ever be subtle and done right. Trout pout. (Didn't even state where I had work done or upload a picture fwiw)

every one of those comments came from women.

so it doesn't matter if you're fat, thin, natural, not natural, women are just held to criticism no matter what the topic or subject is.

however what I do notice, is that overweight and obese people will always always race to the bottom and say it's always worse than every one else. I wonder why that is.

i see it on here all the time.

women as a whole get scrutinised, especially by other women. It's everywhere and it's not just obese or fat people.
most people don't find overweight and obese people attractive. I absolutely don't. I wouldn't sneer and ever say anything to anyone but as I said previously 90-95% of obese people are obese due to overeating. Medical and secondary causes only make up 5-10%. So people will judge. Especially when the vast majority of obese people blame the world / other people / other circumstances than themselves.

I didn't say that they weren't, I was saying that the perception is that now it's really easy to just lose loads of weight and for people who have worked really hard not to gain weight or to lose weight they feel annoyed by that. Personally, I don't care and I think if it reduces obesity and makes weight loss a bit easier, that's great but as someone within a healthy BMI who would like to be a little slimmer as there's maybe a little bit of me that wishes there was an option for it to be a bit easier for me. I know that's not fully logical and that there's a difference between being obese to the point it's a health risk and just not loving how my clothes sit around my tummy.

I don't believe the majority of people do hate fat people.

I'm not fat: I don't.

I think the haters are a vocal minority

Many are overweight but being fat is different

I am still overweight, look slightly chubby but I am no longer fat

when you are fat you are treated differently, you are looked down on, judged, considered lazy, a slob being slightly overweight (and many people are but do not look it) you are not judged in the same way

What about "hating" or "despising" them like @StripyShirt ? Is that ok? 🙄

There are many problems in this world and actually far more of them are caused by hateful people than by obesity.

Now that I've lost weight, I've noticed the reverse. People, and men in particular, are much nicer and pay me more attention. It is so shallow.

This is a good example , people keep saying most folks hate fat people. But statistically most people are actually fat. No way round this, so if it’s most folks then it is fat people judging other fat people, maybe judging fat people who are even fatter than them, but healthy weight people in the uk make up the minority, one third of the adult population. The other two thirds are fat. So if the majority hate fat people then that includes a hell of a lot of fat people hating other fat people.

My parents often pointed out my need to lose weight and I was very sensitive about it so often their attempts backfired. I feel the pain to this day. They were average sized and had been war kids so grew up on rationing. We had healthy home-cooked meals but I was always being warned of the danger of having pudding and offered smaller portions of everything and if anything felt deprived. As I said I only worked out later in life that I need to eat a LOT less than everyone else to lose weight. Regular diets don’t work for me - I had to eat just 800 calories a day for a very long time and exercise like mad. At one stage I got to merely overweight - similar to how I am now - then I stopped over focusing on it and I piled it on again. I’m back to where I was now which is about as good as it gets. Even with the jab, a strict exercise regime and restricted eating can’t lose any more.

But factually most people are fat themselves. Statistically two thirds of uk adults.

This ^

I was fat for a few years and now I am not and I its noticeable how differently I am treated

I have also been called a cheat for using weight loss injections its interesting how angry people feel about these injections

I think this has multiple facets.

firstly some people are simply abusive, they will find a reason to abuse. Weight, skin colour, religion, whatever, they will find a reason.

Two thirds of people in the uk are now overweight or obese. It is the majority, in general obesity is not viewed positively by society, even though most are in that or the overweight category, irrelevant of the body positivity movement. It is seen as unattractive and unhealthy, something we do to ourselves. Even by the people suffering from it there is often self loathing.

This is separate from those choosing to be abusive to the person suffering from obesity, Because the abuse is about the fact the person is simply an abuser.

slim women also get their fair share, I see a lot of comments on “ the teeny tinies” competitive under eating, massive salads, etc. I read a thread on here the other day where people were hurling abuse at Kate Middleton, saying she as skeletal, had an eating disorder, was addicted to laxatives, it was very unpleasant, and it was likely women hurling that abuse. And yes for a different reason, envy. But ut was still abuse. And not ok as she is slim. She doesn’t deserve it for that reason, nor should it be seen as acceptable for that reason.

ultimately abusers will abuse. Which is seperate to the health issues associated with obesity or general society view, which is often perpetuated by the people who suffer from it.

I became obese, I lost the weight with wli, I didn’t feel I looked attractive, I certainly wasn’t healthy, obesity is the biggest killer in our society today, the leading cause of cancer. I never abused, looked down on or judged other fat people, but I can hand on heart say I did not like the way I looked, nor did I like rhe way I felt.

Couldn’t agree more, it’s a quick fix and lazy way to lose weight if changing your diet and lifestyle would do the same thing.

I’ve seen multiple “influencers” ‘what I eat in a day whilst on munjaro’ and their diets are horrendous. No average person would be able to maintain a healthy weight eating such things. They are not nutritious or low calorie meals at all.

@Looploop would you say your parents posed as positive role models when it came to your dietary habits as a child?

But they are the same people. The women who are obese have mostly also been battling for years. And the biggest weight losers with jabs are the people who are not obese but lie about their weight in order to shed those precious last pounds to become model-thin.

P.S. Re mounjaro, I think it's obvious why people have an issue with it. Most women have spent their whole lives trying to get and stay slim with varying degrees of success. The jabs are (wrongly) portrayed as a "get thin quick" scheme where you can just instantly lose weight without trying. If you've spent your whole life exercising, denying yourself junk food and feeling superior because of it, you're going to find it irritating that now everyone can be slim, apparently without all the effort you've put in.

@StripyShirt it seems odd to me that you would meet an obese person and immediately hold them in contempt and despise them, simply because of being obese. Before you know anything else about them, and presumably after you've interacted with them and they've behaved normally. There are so many delightful, lovely, kind, helpful, compassionate, competent, intelligent, thoughtful etc etc people who are also obese. None of those other things about them matter to you, only their weight and the character flaw you perceive in them as a result of their weight?