Is fatphobia a real thing?

@MJMaude exactly! We may look fat (or used to) but we have been battling it for years.

Yes we all know that in the vast majority of cases of obesity, it's because people eat too much. No one is denying that. What is interesting is why they eat too much and why even when people are absolutely desperate to lose weight, they cannot control their eating. Putting it down to abstract concepts like greed and willpower is utter nonsense. I am on wli...I have no idea how it works but it's absolutely amazing. Prior to them I was in a tortuous battle with myself over food...I even said to my DH once I started the injections, is this how you feel all the time?! I've been thin before but I was still battling with myself over food every day.

See there's some of the irony right there. Like you I have battled my weight for years. No, decades. In that time I've been judged, advised, "helped" by people who have no fucking idea what it is like. Unlike them I have successfully lost weight again and again and again. We are the experts at weight loss. Been there done that. Rinse and repeat. The problem is that it has not been sustainable. I lost the same 5 stones again and again and again. With WLI I have lost the full 8 I needed to. At MY expense, not the NHS's. The difference it has made has been indescribable. I still had a mountain to climb but mounjaro has given me a manageable path up it rather than the sheer cliff face I used to diet my way up. From my first jab it was like it fixed something in me. I'm fairly sure I'll need to stay on a maintenance dose now. The problem was never gluttony, stupidity, greed.

Good luck @Looploop

As for the NHS funding…this is a very British argument to do with the nationalisation of our health system! I pay my taxes too and I work hard despite my obesity and I’m a net contributor. So I am as entitled to treatment as a smoker, drinker, drug addict or someone who plays dangerous sports or rides a motorbike or is long term unemployed. I also have private health insurance to cover some things.

I’d dearly love to not have a weight problem! I have actively battled it for years - at times I’ve lost a load of weight only to regain it later to my shame. That was before medication was available. Now there is medication the NHS won’t prescribe it for me. Oh the irony. Seems like they didn’t want me to be slimmer after all. I’ve now paid a lot to try and make myself the right weight. It’s not like I’m not bothered!

Do you want people to wear badges displaying their reasons for their weight so you can decide how best to judge? Genetics are the biggest factor. Don't know about you but I didn't choose mine.

Driving obesity there are a lot of very powerful hormones at play. This is why a jab which makes you feel full up after meals makes all the difference. I used to feel extremely hungry even when I had eaten. I don’t any more. I don’t think most people are actively being very gluttonous like the example given of the McDonald’s kid above. But food does build very addictive habits and junk food does even more so.

I suspect people who are naturally slimmer have a better hormone balance and maybe don’t understand the intense drive that others feel to eat. Sort out the hormones and you sort out a lot of the problem.

Even so. There is no reason to look down on people because they are actually suffering from a condition which is potentially damaging their health. And no reason at all for rudeness and jibes in the street etc.

Where body size / weight is a product of diet and lifestyle (rather than a medical condition) then I think it’s understandable that ‘wider society’ raise an eyebrow.

The link between obesity and poor health isn’t exactly unknown and who picks up the bill for all the obesity-related complications that come down the line… we ALL do (those that pay tax anyway).

I think it's an inbuilt trait in humans to associate obesity with poor health and hygiene which triggers the disgust response. Several academic studies have confirmed this link. Obviously the majority of people have the common decency/education to deal with this response but many will still feel it. I say this as someone who has been overweight for periods of my life.

The very same people who would say the terrible things that have been said in this thread.

Rude and aggressive? I’ve called out your response that was, in my opinion, incorrect and didn’t address my post. Look at your post, I made a general observation, backed up by the NHS website, you didn’t like that fact my general observation ignored specifics (I’ve no idea why), I gave you specifics and you’re still not happy. You’re blinkered as to the causes of obesity, of course there’s medical reasons but those are clearly the exception to the rule.

Let’s take a different case…the USA. It’s full of mindblowingly overweight people, can you hand on heart tell me they’re all medical issues?! Of course not, diet and (lack of) exercise. If you want another specific example…a boy who used to be in DS’s football team. His mum had been buying him large meals at McDs a few times a week since he was about 6. He was a good little player but could hardly play because of how overweight he was (he may still be, I’ve no idea). The cause…diet.

As for my apparent personality issues, given everything has a medical reason in your view, why are you judging me? Bit hypocritical…I’m obviously joking.

I’m sorry but I’m really not sure what you’re saying, who exactly is responsible for raising violent disrespectful under achieving kids?

No the generation of people who largely make up the membership here

Complete character assignation, of how? What do they think of me? I get on well with my FIL, my MIL is no longer with us so I’m the theme of assumptions maybe try not to assume things in the future.

At no point have I passed judgment on the people I’ve mentioned, in fact I like them all. Like many on MN you’re taking a post, adding 2+2 and getting outrage. I’ve stated an opinion about the cause of obesity, been told off for picking at specific people (which I wasn’t), then backed up my opinion with specific examples.

As I said in both posts, which clearly you’ve missed, there are many medical reasons for obesity but the main cause is most likely diet and exercise choices. It’s really not a difficult concept. In fact, if you go on the NHS website it backs that opinion up.

Slim mothers???

I dont think it is. We have some of the most violent, disrespectful, underachieving kids ever today, and we can see who parented them.

I’m shocked reading some of the comments, someone also said weight conscious mums are selfish, like you need to be fat to be a good parent,

people are so messed up about weight, so bitter, resentful, jealous, smug, it’s shocking,

Wow mumsnet has hit a new low. "I despise" fat people. The fact that someone feels comfortable enough to admit that, even anonymously. Wow.

Someone dossnt understand poverty and diet

Is this in answer to my last post?

I'm confused if so, because it doesn't address anything I said in it?

And does that make these obese people worthy of being despised or just people of all sorts with a bit of a problem? Fat people still have people who love them and who are loved by them who need them and value them as individuals and see them as more than just a waist measurement.

Yeah but 64% of UK adults are overweight or obese.

We can come up with all the whataboutery we can think of, but still the statistics would point to the fact generally people are just eating too much and not burning it off.

How rude and aggressive. You sound like you have much bigger issues than people who are overweight do, I suggest you work on your own personality issues rather than worrying about other peoples weight.

You’re a charmer @brunettemic . Do your in-laws and colleagues think as highly of you? Are they good people? Kind? Good citizens? Why the complete character assassination?

I’m not talking about a specific person but if you’d prefer I’ll refer to the specific obese people I know:
FIL - awful diet, drinks a lot, zero exercise
DH’s nephews - awful diet, no exercise
Work colleague - drinks a lot, zero exercise
Work colleague 2 - eats Maccies/KFC like it’s a competition and a lot of crisps each day
Two of my parents friends - see FIL

As I said in my post, that you’re clearly incapable of understanding, or possibly too blinded to accept reality, there are multiple reason for obesity. That doesn’t take away from the fact that the most likely fact is diet and exercise.

Cooking family meals is a real way to pile on the weight. You are so busy thinking of everyone else’s needs. Nowadays I only cook for myself and that is easier to control.

Also there can be other reasons people gain weight. An injury for example that makes exercise harder, maybe a sick relative or family crisis stops people exercising. Too much stress causing a cortisol spike in the bloodstream which piles on the pounds. Night shifts - notoriously bad for health. People who have endless free time to spend at the gym are often not rushing round after others.

There are skinny people who live can on fast food and takeaways and can get away with it in terms of appearances. But the damage is still being done from their diet.