Diet restriction imposed by school and father

Veganism is fine if both parents agree. But the question of whether being vegan is ok is not the point of this thread.

Do you think the father doesn't know that the child isn't vegan with mum? Going to court to adjudicate over a child's diet is the worst possible idea. No parents should be advised to involve the family court in their parenting unless they absolutely have to. If the father knows that the child eats meat with mum then they won't rule that she should not eat meat at school. A court application would be a waste of time.

Going to court over this is the absolute last resort and should be avoided at all costs.

She just needs to inform the school that she's not vegan, she eats vegan food in her dad's care but presuming the dad knows she's not vegan with mum then he has no right to determine what she eats at school.

The child is obviously not vegan as she eats meat at home.

There are millions of children who are successfully raised as vegan. One parent with PR wants her to be raised as vegan one doesnt. One parent’s choice does not override the other and in this case where they cannot agree on such an important issue then it has to be up to the courts to decide. Change vegan for sweets. What would your argument be then?
https://www.greenpeace.org.uk/news/world-cultures-and-religions-plant-based-vegetarian-vegan-diet/
https://www.bmj.com/content/375/bmj.n2792/rr

Veganism is not healthy for a 4 year old. The child eats meat. Hence is not a vegan and should not be forced into it.

Isn’t this what the father is doing though?

I don't know why everyone here carping on about "he doesn't have the right" doesn't understand that if he doesn't have the right to unilaterally decide she's vegan then OP doesn't have the unilateral right to decide she isn't.

Really? That’s absolutely awful!

Can someone explain to me why one parent’s dietary choice overrides another’s?
If one parent was Jewish or Muslim and therefore didn’t eat pork, should the other parent feed the child pork? If the mum was vegetarian and the dad not, would it be ok for him to give their child meat?
Do people honestly expect a vegan couple to feed their child meat?
It’s such a tricky thing to decide because neither parent is in the wrong.

No they won’t, it’s like saying Mum doesn’t have a court order saying the child is NOT vegan, so therefore she is! Both parents have PR and both can decide if they want the child to be classified as vegan/non vegan. It isn’t the schools role to mediate disputes between parents.
Schools are stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Having lived with an ex like this for a long time - it doesn't matter what he thinks of you,.or what he accuses you of. What matters is that you keep putting your child's needs first

Years ago when I worked in a nursery we had a young girl who had a Muslim father and a non Muslim mother. The parents had split up, but the father wanted her raised as a Muslim, and therefore not eating pork/ham etc. The child was usually fed a pork free diet at nursery, but if ever she asked to have what the others were having she was given it.The mother believed it was the child's choice.

book a meeting with the school head - tell them the child is not vegan and eats meat at home. This is something father would like to enforce but has not been granted the right to by the courts (nor do I think he would be tbh) If the courts grant this then you will let school know but until this is the case the child is not vegan and please can they remove this from their records.

then hopefully if father complains they’ll ask for the court order as proof-which I don’t think he’ll be granted.

Ring the school and tell her she is not vegan. I had the school ring me shortly after dc started school because I had chosen a non halal option. I explained he eats non halal meat apart from pork and they were fine with it.

All you need to do is phone the office and tell them that your DD isn't vegan. They can correct it for you. Don't draw attention to it with us your ex, just do it.

As others have said, tell the school she is not vegan.

Is her dad vegan? If not then I’d be really worried about this behaviour, make a note of it and get evidence from the school if possible.

If you ask a school to arbitrate between two parents who don't agree, they will always choose the option that covers their back the best. In this case probably go with vegan food at school, as she can eat meat at yours.

Imagine if you discover your child has a minor but annoying allergy to something, and the school removes it for her because you've told them that.
Then dad tells the school he gives it to her without problems, so she's not allergic.
She's 4 and says she loves that thing.
Would you be happy if the school started giving her that thing again because he said she wasn't allergic because he gives it to her? Should they override your claim in favor of his?

It isn't the school or DD who should be dealing with parental disagreements on the nitty gritty of how your child is raised. You should be seeking a specific issues order then presenting it to the school if you want her to be able to go against her other parents views while she's there, and he should do the same if he wants her to be able to go against yours at school.

Don't make the child or the school your battleground.

It wont do her any harm to eat vegan options at school while you sort your lifestyle parenting disagreements out in the proper place.

You can go in and change her record to non vegan, dad will then change it back and so on. There’s nothing school can do about it, both of you have parental responsibility and school have to take account of both. That’s why they hate getting into parental disputes. The only thing you can do permanently is get a specific issues order.

The school haven’t done anything wrong, they have been told that she is vegan so they are feeding her a vegan diet while in their care.

Just change it if you are unhappy.

It’s not a complaint against the school they are just actioning what they have been informed by a parent.

The OP needs to talk to school and explain the situation and make it clear that the child isn’t being raised as vegan. They will then record the conversation on their systems.

I'm not sure what else the school can do. They have recieved information from a person with parental rights. He has every right to do this. I think you need to go to court for a specific issues order.

Oh don't be silly. Do.you really.think the school isn't aware of the EYFS framework?

I can also pretty much guarantee they won't he upset to learn that a 4 year old isn't actually vegan after all.

The school isn't imposing anything.

A parent has informed them of a child's dietary requirements and they are following that.

If that information isn't accurate, you need to tell them.

I can't believe someone's actually suggested following the complaints procedure. Or that you have started a thread asking what you can do when the obvious answer is speak to the school.

Two pronged action: tell Dad that his actions are confusing your child and that she's not vegan at all, despite what he thinks, and school needs to be informed that your child eats both vegan and meat dishes at each parent's home. Also, she can have whatever she likes at lunchtime.