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Original poster

Boyfriend has described himself as “pussy whipped”

191 replies

StrawberrySourpatchKids · 01/10/2025 20:11

I don’t know if im just being extra sensitive because im on my period and feeling crap in general, so I want some perspective.

my boyfriend and I have been together for about four months. We’re both 26. He’s sent me a screenshot of a conversation he was having with one of his friends this evening, where he agrees with his friend who says he’s “pussy whipped” and he shoots back and basically says the sex is so good I can have whatever I want.

this entire exchange has just made me feel really
grossed out, because I think that’s something I wouldn’t discuss with anyone else. AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 01/10/2025 20:55

JaquelineHide · 01/10/2025 20:42

Not really...

Show quote history

No - he said he’s with her because the ‘sex is so good’ not because he’s afraid she’ll leave. He holds the upper hand in that sentence. He’s choosing to stay and has given the reason.

‘Pussy whipped’ is generally meant where the woman holds the power. It’s equivalent to ‘he’s under the thumb’ or ‘she wears the trousers’.

Sugargliderwombat · 01/10/2025 20:55

This is 4 months. Cut your losses before it turns into 4 years.

NimbleDreamer · 01/10/2025 20:54

Alexa, play 'Manchild' by Sabrina Carpenter...

Shallysally · 01/10/2025 20:51

StrawberrySourpatchKids · 01/10/2025 20:45

He’s, okay. Certainly not amazing, not awful but he doesn’t do a lot to make me feel special

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As PP’s have said, it’s grim behaviour from him.
Coupled with your last post, he clearly thinks he doesn’t need to make any effort for you.
At four months in he should be making the effort.

He is showing you who he is OP. The way you are feeling is likely nothing to do with your period. There are men out there who won’t disrespect you and will absolutely make you feel special, not just for the first few months but for the whole of the relationship.

Find a man who knows what an adult relationship is, because this one clearly doesn’t.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 01/10/2025 20:49

JaquelineHide · 01/10/2025 20:40

Geez lady, raise your bar x

Show quote history

Really? 😄😄 I am usually the first to say ltb but

Hes 26, dumb and was clumsy in dealing with this

I'd just tell him that I dont want him discussing our sex life and to move on - he definitely could've responded differently, like saying 'shes amazing' or something

Anyahyacinth · 01/10/2025 20:49

What a huge turn off …not man enough to be sexy

SixtyTwoPercent · 01/10/2025 20:49

Ah mate 'Not awful' is a low bar.

Owly11 · 01/10/2025 20:47

urgh gross. He doesn’t seem to have a filter. Does he think you will be impressed by this? If my partner was talking to his mates about having sex with me I would be having a serious conversation with him and weighing up my options.

Original poster
StrawberrySourpatchKids · 01/10/2025 20:45

SixtyTwoPercent · 01/10/2025 20:42

It's not okay to speak about you like that.
Not him, nor his friends.

He's clearly very immature and insensitive thinking you'd want to be talked about like that, it's not rocket science that you want your sex life to be private and it's not nice to see his friends basically saying you're controlling or whatever.

But apart from immature and stupid, what's he like?

If he is generally generous and kind and supportive and makes you feel special and treats you well, you might want to have a grown up conversation about how this makes you feel and why it's completely inappropriate and why it can't happen again in your relationship.

If in reality he's a childish sex pest who is all about impressing 'the lads', getting pissed all the time and is a bit of a twat, then thrown him back.

He’s, okay. Certainly not amazing, not awful but he doesn’t do a lot to make me feel special

OP posts:
luckylavender · 01/10/2025 20:44

He shared that with you? Find your self respect and run.

JaquelineHide · 01/10/2025 20:42

Screamingabdabz · 01/10/2025 20:13

“…basically says the sex is so good I can have whatever I want.”

Thats not being pussy whipped though. Pussy whipped is him wanting to be with you and do what you want even if there was no sex. I’ve be put out too op. It’s grim.

Not really...

Boyfriend has described himself as “pussy whipped”
SixtyTwoPercent · 01/10/2025 20:42

It's not okay to speak about you like that.
Not him, nor his friends.

He's clearly very immature and insensitive thinking you'd want to be talked about like that, it's not rocket science that you want your sex life to be private and it's not nice to see his friends basically saying you're controlling or whatever.

But apart from immature and stupid, what's he like?

If he is generally generous and kind and supportive and makes you feel special and treats you well, you might want to have a grown up conversation about how this makes you feel and why it's completely inappropriate and why it can't happen again in your relationship.

If in reality he's a childish sex pest who is all about impressing 'the lads', getting pissed all the time and is a bit of a twat, then thrown him back.

Newbutoldfather · 01/10/2025 20:41

I have to say, I think he is trying to be affectionate but in a crass way.

Pussy whipped to me means being happy to be bossed around by a woman.

And he says he is happy to etc, rather than denying it. And the fact that he has shared it with you means it is light hearted and he respects you.

It definitely isn’t a binning offence. Just ask him what he meant and tell him you don’t appreciate his use of language or over sharing.

OTOH, you are 4 months in and, if it’s really upset you, maybe it is best to bin him before you get in too deep.

JaquelineHide · 01/10/2025 20:40

mumofoneAloneandwell · 01/10/2025 20:34

😄😄 men are stupid op

I wouldnt worry about it, just roll your eyes and tell him not to discuss your sex life, no matter how good it is

For mumsnet standards, this isn't worth getting worked up over x

Geez lady, raise your bar x

yeesh · 01/10/2025 20:40

Bin him off, gross

Mumofteenandtween · 01/10/2025 20:39

The problem is that he sounds like a teenage boy who has just had sex for the first time.

Which is incredibly unattractive unless you two met in Year 11 history.

JaquelineHide · 01/10/2025 20:38

Misogynistic and disrespectful imo.

Bringitonicancope · 01/10/2025 20:37

Disgusting.
And he will be discussing every detail of your sex life with his friends.
Why would you want to be in a relationship with a misogynistic idiot like him?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 01/10/2025 20:34

😄😄 men are stupid op

I wouldnt worry about it, just roll your eyes and tell him not to discuss your sex life, no matter how good it is

For mumsnet standards, this isn't worth getting worked up over x

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 01/10/2025 20:34

He's a prick..it not often I say it because there's generally no need I'm male and that's no way to talk about a partner.
As pp said I wonder what other details he shares.

toomuchfaff · 01/10/2025 20:32

Because he thinks with his dick - he assumes that him saying the sex is so good is a compliment because he assumes that you think with your genitals (because he does), he doesn't even comprehend that its ick, demeaning, objectifying and puts him firmly in cringe capital. Is he 17?

Brightbluesomething · 01/10/2025 20:32

How indiscreet and objectifying. That would make me clamp shut completely. Is he always a man child?
You could try dating an adult who doesn’t give you the ick.

Coconutter24 · 01/10/2025 20:32

StrawberrySourpatchKids · 01/10/2025 20:23

no, I don’t think I do. But I’m on my period and have literally cried four times today at the most ridiculous of things so I didn’t know if I was just being sensitive!

Show quote history

If you weren’t on your period do you think you’d be ok with him having that kind of conversation about you?

letshavetea · 01/10/2025 20:31

Eughhhh

Coconutter24 · 01/10/2025 20:30

Screamingabdabz · 01/10/2025 20:13

“…basically says the sex is so good I can have whatever I want.”

Thats not being pussy whipped though. Pussy whipped is him wanting to be with you and do what you want even if there was no sex. I’ve be put out too op. It’s grim.

I think you’ve got the definition wrong