To want my child to have cosmetic surgery?

I have the same kind of ears, and wanted to get them pinned back as a child - I had to sit in front of a ‘pin panel’ and explain why it was impacting my life, which was far more traumatising than any comments people made 😂 she’ll grow in to them and with your support she’ll learn to love herself - she shouldn’t have to be perfect. My youngest has inherited them and when I see them on her I realise how beautiful all our imperfections are

I think the UK is far stricter even privately. My daughter has a large spider angioma on her cheek under her eye. We spent a few months in the States when she was 5 and every school/camp called about it or was concerned about it which seemed very odd to me. One required a doctor sign off about it. The doctor told me in the US this would always be lasered off if you had insurance by age 3. Considered serious enough for general anaesthetic at that age. Came back to UK shortly after and tried to have it done privately. Every single dermatologist refused and one who is a family friend told me to stop getting appointments about it because it could raise safeguarding concerns trying to get unnecessary cosmetic surgery on a child so young. Totally different cultures. It's such an issue every time we visit family in the States though because no one has seen them!

People were ‘more good natured back then?’ hahahaha - I think you’re slightly delusional……or brainwashed

I remember twins in my class at primary school having their ears pinned back, I’d never actually thought they were sticking out, but conversations with them as they got older they told me they were teased really badly. For context I’m 56 now. I was teased all through school for being fat. Shit like that stays with you.
Get them done if you can 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would really not do this unless she asks / says it’s a problem. Elf is not a complaint - she might like her elf ears. How would you bring this up? The rest of the world will think your elf ears are uncool so we are going to get them changed by scary surgery so you look better for other people when you are a teen? What message will that say to her about her needing to physically change her body for others?

Im not even vaguely into make up, my looks etc but yes I would want my ears pinned back a bit if they were as sticky out as in the photo @Savethewhales1. I agree with having a little chat with her and then a trip to the GP to see whats what. Having it done now will be so much less of a drama than if you wait until shes a teen and being picked on - which sadly...... shes quite likely to be. I assume its a very simple and quick procedure?

One of the current Uniqlo models has sticky out ears. She has her hair up and she looks great! I only noticed her ears because I'd just been reading this thread.

back in the 1990s I had my ears pinned back at the age of 28 after a conversation with my health visitor as my daughter had ears that stuck out .I hated my ears and was called dumbo at home .It was the best thing i’d ever done so i spoke to the GP about my daughter and she was 4 when she had hers done and I am so glad I did this for her .( I was a nervous wreck waiting for the surgery to be over though)
I know things have changed in the NHS since then but personally i would push for this as i know how my confidence improved immensely.

back in the 1990s I had my ears pinned back at the age of 28 after a conversation with my health visitor as my daughter had ears that stuck out .I hated my ears and was called dumbo at home .It was the best thing i’d ever done so i spoke to the GP about my daughter and she was 4 when she had hers done and I am so glad I did this for her .( I was a nervous wreck waiting for the surgery to be over though)
I know things have changed in the NHS since then but personally i would push for this as i know how my confidence improved immensely.

Mine are a much smaller and less protruding version of this and I hate them - I never ever have my ears showing and that makes it hard for things like hot sticky theme park days on holidays etc.

Mine couldn’t be pinned back really because they don’t protrude like these (all the way down) - mine stick out only at the top. So to pin the top, you’d essentially have an almost flat rest of the ear area, which looks even worse. I have actually grown into them mostly, but I still hate them.

If they can be pinned back, do it - I so wish mine had been. If either of my kids had had ears like mine, I’d have done it in a heartbeat.

To an adult, yes.
Kids don’t want to be different.

OP, I know you said girls can be cruel, but my daughters found boys so much worse!

I haven't read the full thread, just OPs posts so apologies if I'm repeating what others have said.

My DD had her ears pinned back aged 7. I'd always been very aware of them (yes, I'm shallow, I admit it) but didn't want to make her self conscious. A little boy at school called her "monkey ears" and she was quite upset so off to an ENT referral we went.

Very few questions asked, surgery completed a few months later on the NHS. The mention of name-calling was enough for the consultant to approve the surgery. This was quite a long time ago - she's 26 now. No regrets about it for either of us (she's really glad we had it done) but what I will say is that they can start to protrude again.

Depending on the cartilage levels etc, you can get quite a bit of "spring back" as the years pass. DDs have definitely come back out a noticeable amount but they're still better than they were. Hers were at least as bad, probably worse, than the picture you posted. Her words now when looking at photos of herself pre-surgery - "FA Cup ears" 🙈

I got this done when I was 20 on the nhs, I suffered for many years trying to hide my ears. Please if you can get it done, do it whilst she is young and save her any undue stress, my only regret was that I didn’t speak up sooner as it completely changed my life.

My ears stick out a lot and I was bullied about them as a child… I never did anything about them. Today I don’t even think about them…

I was also bullied about my lips not being thin, my hair being curly, my big boobs, how skinny I was, that I was a virgin… that I was a Christian…

I personally wouldn’t put my child through that.
And as a child if my parent mentioned about pinning them back or made an appointment about it I would feel she didn’t love me the way I was, that she didn’t think I was pretty etc.

All it shows is that you agree that her ears aren’t okay and she should have something done to her to make her more ‘normal’.
It’s also giving in to what others think and say, and letting them have the power. It’s also erasing a part of who she is.

So no, it’s not something I would do.

👋🏻

It can be done on the NHS as my son's was many years ago. However that was then and this is now, times have changed. Good luck.

"I have rational counterpoints that would completely refute your arguments... but I'm choosing not to share them."

OK. I'll count myself lucky. Have a good day!

I have plenty to say, just now choosing not to engage with you.

Sticky out ears are actually en vogue at the moment! Look at all the Japanese cartoons. It's a positive thing.

As a family with big noses, sticky out ears, etc, there is always something to be conscious of. We were all bullied for these, and other random things. Sadly, bullying will occur whatever the flaw.

So, you have to promote resilience, embrace the look, DD's have enhanced said ears by having multiple piercings, looks great. Nose piercings too. Look out for celebs with big noses and big ears, there are a lot. Strong features are a good thing 😎

You can literally solve lots of things with plastic surgery

Plastic surgeons are very important. Get off your high horse.

Whatever decision you make will be the right one go with your gut feeling. Best of luck.

Yes, I didn't think you'd have much in the way of substantive response. As I say, pretty indefensible. We'll have to agree to disagree, won't we!

Just as something to consider - I had enormous ears as a child and they really stuck out but somehow I seem to have grown in to them - I wouldn’t wear my hair up for years. Hopefully surgery has progressed as the people who I saw who had had their ears pinned back looked like they were stuck to the side of their head which was also not a good look.

I have big sticky out ears, I was called dumbo as a child in school (teasing by boys, not bullying by girls.)
One sticks out more than the other…

It bothered me a little but not enough as I thought about getting my ears pinned back but never did it.

I’m quite happy with the rest of me, face, body, skin. Would like longer thicker hair on my head (maybe to hide those ears?!) but you can’t have it all.
My ears stick out when I wear my hair down. I happily tie my hair in a ponytail or a bun and I think it looks cute.

I don’t care now and it hasn’t bothered me for years/decades. My partner also has big sticky out ears but luckily for him he has lovely thick hair to hide them…

Our first born has them, but he’s got the personality to carry it. Our second born ears are less extreme so lucky him!!

A drug addict/alcoholic on the street once said to me as I walked past with the pushchair “Your boy looks just like you… Same ears!” It made me chuckle.

Not sure if this helps but wanted to share my life experience of having big sticky out ears.