To want my child to have cosmetic surgery?

Ears stick out through long hair

Essentially make her have surgery when there is no issue.

This is really, really bad parenting. Just teach your daughter to love her body and be proud of the things that are uniquely her.

If she has long hair it wouldn't be noticeable.

My DS has Stahls ear on both sides. I didn't know that's what it was called though! We've always called them his Elf ears and told him how cool they are.
He's 21 now and loves them.

A girl in my year when we were maybe about 14 had hers done (about 15years ago now). They weren't even that bad and I'm sure it was done on the NHS as they weren't from a wealthy family. Next time she mentions it, without encouraging it, you could say if she's worried about them, you're happy to look into seeing if anything can be done about it? That way, you're not saying she needs it, you're not pushing her to get it, it's just a neutral conversation of 'we can explore our options if it's something you're interested in'. Just had a Google and kids as young as 5-6 can get it done. Better sooner than later for exactly the reasons you've mentioned, better to prevent her getting low self esteem than her having to endure going downhill then looking at options.

It used to be quite common for boys with a short back and sides to be called Wing Nut in the 60s and 70s! I don’t recall any girls with protruding ears.

Of course, people were more good natured back then and harmless teasing and laughing with one another has taken a nasty turn nowadays and has been replaced with bullying and cruel jibes.

Children are less resilient today and are more focused on their looks from a young age.

I would not bother the NHS but would look into having it done privately if you think she is not able to stand up to any cruel comments now or later on.

My DS has protruding ears and he mentioned it around that age. I told him that people are different, but if they really bother him, there are options. He said OK and hasn't brought the topic up again.

Is it a genuine issue for her though? Elf ears doesn't sound like a bad thing, she might like them.

You want to be certain, because you really don't want your child to hear that (despite your good intentions) her mother thinks she looks bad/ugly/weird enough to be bullied.

I'm also not for giving in to hypothetical future bullies.

I begged to have my ears pinned back but my parents refused. To this day I still wear my hair over them to hide them.

Definitely get them pinned back.

I would be wary of changing something about her that she is aware of and doesn’t mind currently. Not very nice to have a fault picked with you by your mum, it can always be done at a later date and would be best if it is her decision.

Edited to ask op, what was the nature of the comments she was making? And did you reply to reassure her?

Would a private hospital offer it to a child? It might be worth asking that question before raising it iwith your daughter.

What did you say to the people commenting OP? I would of told them if it was my child! Poor thing.

My ears stick out and I wish my mum had had them pinned back for me when I was a child

You see this used to be a common thing and wasn’t necessarily seen as cosmetic surgery. My cousin had it done when we were kids in the 80s. No-one batted an eye. I would get it done OP, it’s not a big deal, like getting teeth straightened. Completely normal. I don’t view it like a nose job or boob job. It’s what kids get done.

Given the way the entire world is being influenced by K-culture, your daughter might grow up resenting you, as in many parts of Asia that type of ears is associated with wealth and good fortune! In Japan they're linked to the God of wealth.

I would promote the positive side to a cultural difference to DD, and who knows where she could end up living.

edited for typo

This is false. Lots of children have it on the NHS and privately. Myself included.

People always used to say I looked like an elf due to my sticky out ears, I liked to think they were picturing Galadriel rather than Dobby. (In truth I'm more hobbit than elf).

To be honest they've never bothered me at all so it wouldn't cross my mind to have surgery. I'd maybe wait to see if your Dd mentions them again before taking any further steps.

I had it done at the age of 10 on the NHS. It was a really quick op - home a few hours afterwards. Think I had a week off school to recover. I don’t remember any pain.

So glad that my parents arranged it for me, I would have been mortified as a teen had I not had it done.

Couldn’t hair cover it if it were an ongoing problem for her?

Do her ears stick out or is it stahls ear which do look elf, there are plenty of private clinics, where are you based.

My child has a visible difference that can be surgically "corrected". We have not gone down that route. Dc can make that decision themselves and I am certainly not going to be the one making it a thing.

Lots of surgeries used to be performed on children. Tonsils and adenoids etc . Those days are gone. The NHS is stretched to breaking point. As others have stated above the OPs daughter probably wouldn't meet the criteria. Why take her to a GP appointment to duscuss it when the chances of referral are next to zero.