To want my child to have cosmetic surgery?

Havent rtft but I am very pro you doing it

No need to go through adolescence feeling uncomfortable about something so fixable

Yanbu x

I wouldn't get that done on my child, its unnecessary and changes part of who she is. I'd focus on body positivity.

My best friend, as a child, had sticky out ears and it really impacted on her growing up especially in sports, particularly swimming.
She paid to have them pinned back in her 20's but wished her parents had done it sooner.

My friend had hers done at about 12. They looked no different if I’m honest, but she had more confidence.

My son’s ears stuck out a lot when he was younger but he’s 10 now and they actually stick out less. Might be worth leaving it for a couple of years and seeing if your daughter’s stick out less over time.

My ears stuck out dreadfully as a child- early 1970s) the GP put me off having surgery by saying it might go wrong and some people end up with “cauliflower ears” which freaked me and my mum out so I didn’t go ahead with it. But actually I seemed to “grow into” my ears and from adulthood they didn’t really notice any more. Looking at pictures of my DF he seemed to do the same. Perhaps I was lucky. If it bothers her then perhaps get it done- I am sure surgical procedures have come a long way since 1974!

Mine never bothered me even though I got the dumbo ears etc comments at school I just laughed or teased back. When I was 10 I found out I'd get 6 weeks off school if I had the operation and suddenly decided they bothered me 😂 I ended up having the operation twice as it didn't work on one ear the first time and I can now say as an adult in my 40s whilst they never bothered me as a child I do believe getting them pinned back (albeit for the 'wrong' reasons) has definitely helped my self confidence as an adult and I'm very glad I got them done. My experience and operation was in the early 90s so no idea what recovery time is now and if its changed and I wouldn't presume to advice what's best for your child but wanted to share my experience of having VERY prominent ears as a child and that having the surgery was absolutely a positive for me

If she starts having issues then look into it with her. Don’t put the idea into her mind though.

I had mine done when I was 10, but it was very much done following my lead and I am pleased it was done. It wasn’t easy surgery though and the recovery was long (IIRC 10 weeks of nightly bandaging) it has to come from her.

I think just get it done without making a big deal of it unless she actively objects.

My Dad’s were done as a kid and he’s in his 80s…

It was quite common to do this years ago. People took a more sensible approach to it I think. Now we’re all about embracing our children’s flaws. It’s tough for kids. I had surgery when I was about 10 and there was about 4 kids on the ward after that had had their ears done all sitting there with their big bandages on. I’d do it if it was my child

I wouldn’t change something about herself she clearly sees positively. If you are prepared to pay privately probably you could organise it fairly quickly if it did become an issue.

What’s wrong with elf ears, though? Do you think she will be teased for being unattractive? Is she happy with her ears as they are?

My ears were very stuck out as a child and I will be forever grateful that my parents supported me to have them pinned back. Sure I have photos of me as a kid where they stick out but for the vast majority of my life they have been normal and the least remarkable thing about me. Considering all the other reasons people found to pick on me as a child I’m eternally grateful that there wasn’t yet another item on that list. One of my 4 children has slightly stuck out ears but not as significantly as mine were. However if he came to hate them I would absolutely have the surgery done.

My friend had her kids ears pinned back when she was very young. Wise decision. She’s now a teen with the usual teen angst but at least she doesn’t have a hang up about her ears, or have to put up with comments from others.

It's not going to guarantee she won't get teased for any other element of her appearance though.

Another vote for getting them done in the best interests of your child.

Do it absolutely! My ears stick out a lot and I was teased/ bullied as a child/ teen. I wr t to the doctor at 12 who said cover them with your hair!! However, after the age of 18 I couldn’t have cared less and at 48 it’s no longer a priblem
or issue but it would have prevented a lot of pain when young x

Who has spoken about a child "like that"? It was the child herself who said "elf ears".

Get it done. Seriously. There’s no reason to have sticking out ears and people can be mean. I have two friends who were so affected by their ears and massively resented their parents not doing something about it. No reason not to.

I‘m just wondering also why you didn’t put a band on them when she was a baby. I think people in the UK don’t know that this is a thing and for the sake of a few weeks of having them with a band over them they get to not think about it again.

It’s very common in the one I work in

A minor surgery it is not. And you have to have evidence of very significant mental distress before the NHS will touch it. Even private surgeons will be reluctant to do it.

The GP offered to put my son forward for surgery on his sticky out ears at his 6 week check! He doesn’t have the cartilage fold in one of them which might have been why. He’s 2, so not that long ago. I declined for now, he seems to be growing into them as his head gets bigger!

I think your approach is sensible OP, if it is bothering her I would consider getting it done. I have only just realised from this thread that elf shaped ears are a thing that could be corrected, I have an older teen with one that has been hated since they became conscious of it. I had no idea that we could have done something about it!