To want my child to have cosmetic surgery?

I would advocate to get the surgery. I grew up with very prominent ears and was teased. It took up until teenage years to approach my mum to ask for a GP visit.

The GP was surprised we’d waited so long as it was classified as a birth defect and could more easily been rectified at birth. I had the surgery on the NHS (not great timing as a teen!)

When my first born also had the same issue we took early action and taped her ears for several weeks so have happily avoided surgery.

I wouldn’t agonise over it just do the operation, it’s unlikely she’ll grow to love the ears, maybe put up with them.

My 11 year old son was bothered by a mole on his chin and it was removed. No further worry or problems.

Whether people like it or not, bullies exist and most of their parents wouldn’t give one jot of care that they are bullies, we can’t control other people but we can control ourselves. Bullying can have devastating consequences and I certainly wouldn’t risk my DDs mental wellbeing for something that be easily sorted.

Have a conversation with her OP and let her know that it’s an option if she wants it.

I had it done as an adult. I was mortified as a child and teenager when people passed comment....and they frequently did. My only regret is that one isn't pinned back enough and I'm still self conscious a bit (I won't tie my hair up) but it's a significant improvement. Do it. You are kind to consider saving her from this. I do know adults that I guess don't care (stick out ears, wear their hair tied back) so she may not care of course.

Sorry I should add - it was done under general anaesthetic, not local.

My dcs ears stuck out noticeably when they were young, by the time they were in their teens they were fine, it's like they grew into them somehow. Having said that, my ears stick out too and I hate them.

Bit weird but I would base the answer on the rest of her face. If the rest of her is average or ‘less’ (don’t know the appropriate polite word sorry) then yes pin them asap.

If the rest of her face is beautiful then I would leave them. The most drawdropping stunning people I know all have some weird quirk. Really odd stuff which would look insane on an average face. But on their otherwise beautiful flawless selves it just looks amazing. I can’t describe it if you haven’t seen this.

My 10 year old had his ears pinned back last year, on the NHS.

I was surprised, it was a much bigger op than I was expecting!

My cousin has ears like this and they are a part of his charm! He jokes about them himself!
Entirely depends on the child. If. she is not bothered or upset by them I wouldn't force that decision on her and put her through unnecessary surgery.

Absolutely!
My DP has massive ears but is also autistic and has been bullied for that all his life... from a small kid to a middle aged man.
How about we teach kids not to bully or tease people who look or act a little different to them.

The procedure isn’t done under general anaesthetic, hasn’t been for the past 15+ years. It’s under local as that’s what scared me off getting mine - being awake and seeing the procedure. I was told to practise looking at a mirror lying down so I could ensure I was happy with my ears while they were doing it!

https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/cosmetic-procedures/cosmetic-surgery/ear-correction-surgery/

The NHS spunks a lot of money on all sorts of bullshit.
So, they can afford this cosmetic surgery.

Well there you go op.

Several of my friends had this done. I was under the impression it wasn't that big a deal.

I always tended to think of it as being like braces for dental correction, though now I think more on it, I suppose teeth can have knock-on health issues like jaw alignment and the ears probably are just cosmetic.

My mum and her mum both had their ears pinned back. For some reason, she didn’t get mine done as a child despite them sticking out significantly. I really wish she did because by the time I pushed for it myself and got referred as a teenager, I was too scared to go through with the operation and I had already endured a lot of teasing. My ears are still my biggest insecurity and I would absolutely take my child to have theirs pinned back if they were in the same position. It’s hard on a child.

I had mine done as a young adult and paid over £3k I did have the chance to have them done at 15 and chickened out the morning of the surgery which I wish I hadn’t!
The GP referred me when I was a child and then when I went privately they basically just looked at them and agreed I was suitable for surgery.

The recovery was painful as with any surgery but didn’t last long and now I’m really glad I had them done!

My friends child had this. Mum declined the op, once senior school age she suffered terrible bullying and begged her mum to let her have them pinned. Mum eventually agreed and her daughter had the operation but it was unsuccessful and only worked on one ear. Child was too upset to have it done again so now has one pinned ear and one not.

Braces are hardly the same thing as surgery under a general anaesthetic.

Having braces can also be used by bullies against a child, by the arguments on this thread, parents should refuse to allow their children to wear braces (or glasses, etc.).

My niece had hers done at around this age during the school holdays. She was thriled with the result and as an adult has multiple piercings (and short hair)

I had this surgery done myself as a child when I was 10. It happened because I was being bullied at school about it.

A boy at my table used to say "Oh! we haven't looked at ReallyFine's ears today!"

and then he would come round and stand behind me and pull my hair back behind my ears so every one could see and laugh. I didn't like it much.

My Mum left my long hair down to hide my ears and it used to get kind of messy during the school day, and everyone called me "hippy" after the character in "The Young Ones". I didn't like that at all.

After I had the surgery, the boy said his line, and came and pulled my hair back behind my ears. Only then did he see that suddenly my ears were sitting neatly against my head I think he probably saw the scar too, which was still black and looked pretty alarming. I heard him give a sharp intake of breath and in silence, he went meekly back to his chair.

I just looked quitely at my one friend who knew I had had the surgery and gave her the very slightest knowing smile, and she returned it. The boy never mentioned my ears again.

That was a good day.

The surgery btw was easy enough. I had a lot of trouble with nausea for days and days after the anaesthetic but I think the anaesthetist was rubbish because a lot of other patients on the ward were the same. The actual ear part was okay. I had a massive bandage round my head for something like a fortnight, but my Mum organised to have the surgery done in the summer holidays so no one would see that. I had to go back to the hospital to have the stitches taken out but that was fine. My Mum gave me a lego set.

After the surgery I was able to tie my hair back and that was much better. It was really essential when I went on to do lab science, for safety around bunsen flames.

Oddly, when we were 15 I noticed that the boy who had been bothering me also had the same surgery.

Crooked teeth can have some dental health implications though. Sticky out ears... none at all.

I think your approach is spot on OP - a gentle chat if it comes up again and let her know it can be sorted if she wants. It's no different than encouraging braces for crooked teeth IMO. If going private you can get it done in the school holidays for minimal disruption.

Thank you for enlightening me 😂I didn’t write anything about having it done on the NHS.

I was writing in support the OP’s question should she get it done?

I would not hesitate @Savethewhales1 she will be very thankful for it.