Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

657 replies

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

OP posts:
Returnofthemag · 04/10/2025 20:41

What are you talking about, it's October. He went to buy it and was gone more than two months before Christmas. I know you are disappointed but it's a material thing that doesn't matter. Give the guy a break.

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:37

Bongani · 04/10/2025 20:26

If I’ve got a warm bed, a full belly, and a kettle that works, I’m sorted.

The rest? Window dressing.

Getting in a flap over buying stuff is peak daftness.

Check yourself. Life’s not a shopping spree , it’s a brew, a laugh, and a bit of grace.

SimpleLiving #GratitudeNotGrabbing #CupOfPerspective #SoulOverStuff

@Bongani

lots of people aim for higher than a warm bed and a full belly…they are the basics

N12n · 04/10/2025 20:32

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 04/10/2025 20:24

It WAS for her though. She was literally buying it. He stopped her from, said he would and then failed to.

And I can guarantee right now mistakes and accidents will definitely occur, sometimes by yourself, sometimes by your partner. Don't worry about stuff that doesn't matter - life will throw enough stuff at you that does matter.

Doubleraspberry · 04/10/2025 20:32

Bongani · 04/10/2025 20:26

If I’ve got a warm bed, a full belly, and a kettle that works, I’m sorted.

The rest? Window dressing.

Getting in a flap over buying stuff is peak daftness.

Check yourself. Life’s not a shopping spree , it’s a brew, a laugh, and a bit of grace.

SimpleLiving #GratitudeNotGrabbing #CupOfPerspective #SoulOverStuff

#nohashtagsonMNplease #thisisn’tInstagram

Doubleraspberry · 04/10/2025 20:31

Surely the whole point is not that he didn’t get it quickly enough but that having not got it he told the OP she should be grateful. When all he’d done was cause her to miss out on the thing she wanted to get herself. Rather than apologising or offering to sort out an alternative, which probably would not have caused her to start a thread. That’s what’s galling.

Bongani · 04/10/2025 20:26

N12n · 04/10/2025 19:57

If I can eat, drink clean water and sleep in a warm bed each night I am content as all who are lucky enough should feel. Buying stuff and getting angry or upset over buying stuff is beyond daft.Check yourself and what actually matters to you and life.

If I’ve got a warm bed, a full belly, and a kettle that works, I’m sorted.

The rest? Window dressing.

Getting in a flap over buying stuff is peak daftness.

Check yourself. Life’s not a shopping spree , it’s a brew, a laugh, and a bit of grace.

SimpleLiving #GratitudeNotGrabbing #CupOfPerspective #SoulOverStuff

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 04/10/2025 20:24

Londonaries · 04/10/2025 20:21

You are being unreasonable.
If this happened to me I’d just be like ‘oh well, it’s not for me’ then move on with my life in a split second. Yes even if it was the most amazing thing that I always wanted.
Tbh for you to be annoyed about not having something, you don’t deserve to have it.

It WAS for her though. She was literally buying it. He stopped her from, said he would and then failed to.

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:22

Londonaries · 04/10/2025 20:21

You are being unreasonable.
If this happened to me I’d just be like ‘oh well, it’s not for me’ then move on with my life in a split second. Yes even if it was the most amazing thing that I always wanted.
Tbh for you to be annoyed about not having something, you don’t deserve to have it.

@Londonaries

i feel sorry for you that you see your wants and needs as so unimportant. Also I’m not sure I believe you…that even if was something you thought amazing and you were let down you would’ve be at all bothered….yeah, no. Don’t be disingenuous

Bongani · 04/10/2025 20:22

warmapplepies · 01/10/2025 17:50

I think I must be odd too as I totally agree with you.

It would never occur to me to ask my partner to buy me something I could get myself.

My birthday is in three weeks, and I've bought something I wanted. That way I got exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it.

Londonaries · 04/10/2025 20:21

You are being unreasonable.
If this happened to me I’d just be like ‘oh well, it’s not for me’ then move on with my life in a split second. Yes even if it was the most amazing thing that I always wanted.
Tbh for you to be annoyed about not having something, you don’t deserve to have it.

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:20

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:41

Shocked you’d leave it to anyone to buy you something that has limited numbers, you won’t make that mistake again.
To others it’s not important as they have other things to think about.

@Skybluepinky

dont be silly. It was OP’s husband who made the mistake, not OP.

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:19

N12n · 04/10/2025 19:57

If I can eat, drink clean water and sleep in a warm bed each night I am content as all who are lucky enough should feel. Buying stuff and getting angry or upset over buying stuff is beyond daft.Check yourself and what actually matters to you and life.

@N12n

blimey, it really is a race to the bottom isn’t it? 🤣

You can’t want for anything more than the absolute basics OP according to some people on here!

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:18

MyOpenJadeGoose · 04/10/2025 18:34

You are being COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE ! If you’re angry about something so petty and stupid as this, ask yourself what is important in life? Get over it! Your going to create discontent over a “ beauty calendar “?? If a beauty calendar is SO IMPORTANT to you, then you indeed have your priorities screwed up!

@MyOpenJadeGoose

some of us care about why we look like 🤷‍♀️ some evidently don’t

Thingyfanding1 · 04/10/2025 20:09

Yep. Annoying!
I wouldn’t hold a grudge over it though. Move on, and you know what to do next time.

DeltaC · 04/10/2025 20:08

He did not miss the sale will fully… that is my point

CharlieEffie · 04/10/2025 20:07

What should you be greatful for he hasnt done anything other than causing you to miss out

Starling7 · 04/10/2025 19:59

Get him to buy it on Ebay and swallow the additional markup

N12n · 04/10/2025 19:57

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

If I can eat, drink clean water and sleep in a warm bed each night I am content as all who are lucky enough should feel. Buying stuff and getting angry or upset over buying stuff is beyond daft.Check yourself and what actually matters to you and life.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/10/2025 19:54

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:41

Shocked you’d leave it to anyone to buy you something that has limited numbers, you won’t make that mistake again.
To others it’s not important as they have other things to think about.

How is it OP's fault????? 🙄

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/10/2025 19:53

Emonade · 04/10/2025 19:42

Get a grip it’s a beauty calendar

So a person should only want the essentials in life? take Take no pleasure in extras?
What a joyless existence. 🙄

Themaghag · 04/10/2025 19:46

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:37

YABU because ‘beauty calendars’ are just ridiculous marketing ploys developed to get people to buy a load of stuff they would never normally buy with the vague hope that there would be some sort of miracle potion that will turn you into a thing of beauty.
Your Dp has done you a massive favour!

Do you have form for being a complete joy sucker, or are making a special effort?

Emonade · 04/10/2025 19:42

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

Get a grip it’s a beauty calendar

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:41

Shocked you’d leave it to anyone to buy you something that has limited numbers, you won’t make that mistake again.
To others it’s not important as they have other things to think about.

Gogglefrog · 04/10/2025 19:32

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 18:44

I don’t like that one as much as SpaceNK, but I’ll find another one I’m sure x

The Sephora calendar looks decent!
id be pIssed AF in your position. YANBU

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/10/2025 19:19

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:37

YABU because ‘beauty calendars’ are just ridiculous marketing ploys developed to get people to buy a load of stuff they would never normally buy with the vague hope that there would be some sort of miracle potion that will turn you into a thing of beauty.
Your Dp has done you a massive favour!

I buy a just-little-pictures one for myself - a legacy of never having one as a child and being painfully envious of anyone who did.